Has anyone dated someone with a child? How do you make it work (opinions on both sides please)?

Im talking to this wonderful guy and he wants to take it to the next level the only problem is im nervous bc he has a 5 month old with his ex wife. I know she will always come before me and thats okay but sometimes it frustrates me because we dont always get to be together bc he has her. when i pictured myself with a guy this wasn't it and i know that life doesn't work that way. but it sounds weird but sometimes i feel jealous because I know that I will never come first in his life. I feel that i am less important to him than i would be if he didn't have a child. and its always going to be hard bc his ex will always be in his life and a reminder of a failed marriage. How do I make this work I really want to and I feel horrible because I feel so selfish for feeling jealous and sometimes frustrated because we dont have a relationship like most people our age do (hes 21 and im 20). I have nothing against the child dont get me wrong but how do I do this? I dont want to leave him but i do want quality time just him and I and to feel cared for also.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Well you should not feel like you are second place. If anything he should be able to find a healthy middle. Its hard for some people to find that balance. If you really want it to workout then talk to him about your concerns but just know that the mother of his child is not a priority the child is. So if any one come before you it should be the baby. I also think their is nothing wrong with wanting to be first and if you want that. Then don't settle for him. Its a lot of people out there with out kids that are just as great. You are young you have the rest of your life to find your lover and when you do find him he will be everything you could ever dream for.

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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 2

  • If you're feeling this way now it will only get worse. When I met him he was married and had 3 children... I still went with it anyway and I embraced the children as well as their mother. Things did eventually go sour (not between him and I) but the ex and I. When I stopped doing favours for her she became malicious and I was no longer useful to her

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  • My brother dated someone with a child.. And unfortunately it ended up not working out.. It's because he never had a kid, and she already he one.. She was more experienced with that.. He needed to find someone that didn't have a kid

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