Are guys in their early 20s just undateable?

I feel like the guys I (and my girl friends) date are just so immature. They don't want to commit, they want to party a lot, they're obsessed with their friends, and love the idea of other women. I hear men out age constantly say, "I'm not ready for a serious relationship". Should I just take them at their word? There has been a few guys that I believe in my heart things would have been so much better if we met and dated once we were both older. What do you guys think?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • let's say you get into this serious relationship, then what?

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What Guys Said 27

  • If you are looking for a serious commitment, then I think most people are undateable. As some of the other guys have mentioned they are having the same issues with women. I think our culture just expects women to want a commitment, but when the woman is actually about to get that commitment, she freaks out and sabotages the relationship.

    Men are the ones that get accused of having a fear of commitment, but I have seen women freak out, the moment they find out the loser she thought she was dating was actually a reliable guy. This is why women so commonly date guys that they know are immature. It gives the woman an excuse to end the relationship if things get too serious. Otherwise your girlfriends wouldn't be wasting their time with men that they know don't want a commitment.

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  • Meanwhile I'm 19 and can't date anyone because:
    •Girls younger than me are still in high school and aren't wanting a serious relationship.
    •Girls my age want older guys.
    •Girls older than me want nothing to do with me.

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  • So just because I like to party and be with my friends I'm immature? Just because my ways of having fun are different than yours makes me immature? Just because I don't want to commit when I'm 20 makes me immature? Explain me why?

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  • Wait... what? Those are some ridiculously broad, sweeping generalizations. I never dated girls in high school because they were all too immature, but I at least knew there were girls out there that were mature on some level.
    There are plenty of guys that want commitment. A lot of guys take decisions of commitment very seriously and don't want to make the decision too fast. It's something that many girls don't understand.
    I've never partied and never had friends until I was about 21.
    Yes, you should take their word for it. The ones that told you they weren't ready for a relationship weren't actually ready for the relationship. All of the ones that DIDN'T tell you that, you can't say aren't ready for a relationship.

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  • That's not true. I have always been the complete opposite than what you described and that was not what a lot of women around that age was looking for. I heard from a lot of women that once their party days were over that they wanted a guy to settle down with but not then. It goes for bother male and female. I have an old soul which I wouldn't have it any other way.

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  • No thats not true at all, you and your friends go after the same type of guys and get the same results

    Try dating a different type of guy maybe then you will find a guy who wants to commit
    i am 19 and looking for a girlfriend its basically fucking impossible at this point
    i have the same problem, i go for girls who are hot and promiscuous and never want to actually date me, now i try and go for intelligent girls who also have values and are hard to get, they dont play hard to get, there is a difference

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  • I'm 22 and my only reason for even getting into a relationship is marriage lol as I don't date I court, I can't say the same for other guys but we're not all like that, some of us are interested in serious relationships. But it's not just men that do this, a lot of women do to.

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  • Some don't want to date but others do. If they even told you they aren't ready for a serious relationship but you were dating them then felt heartache when it didn't work out that is 100% your fault because they were completely honest with what they wanted.

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  • I think the same thing about girls, but it's hard for me to tell if it's the girls who are just like you said, or if it was the dipshit guys who made them that way and now they don't believe it when they really meet a decent one who wants to see who they are and take them out on nice dates. Because I can't figure out how to convince them I'm not another asshole who's going to just fuck them over.

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  • Saying that guys don't want relationships is like saying that girls don't want sex. Just because it can be hard to convince a guy to have a relationship with any particular person, it doesn't mean that he doesn't want one.

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  • Not all guys in their 20s are undateable in terms of commitment and maturity issues!

    Just the ones you are attracted to.

    There are plenty of loyal guys out there, but u overlook them.

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  • Are guys in their early 20s just undateable?

    Depends on the woman.

    I am 24. I am a romantic guy. The type of guy that would bring you flowers on a date, pick you up, pay for a meal, take you for walk in a park, talk to you and make you feel special and act as a gentlemen. I've done this numerous times, but I've been rejected many times as well.

    This question can also be aimed at women as well.

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  • This is the first time in my life where I've just wanted casual sex and was closed to the idea of a relationship. I also don't party or even drink for that matter, and I barely spend time with my friends. I also know that there are *plenty* of women who are the exact same way. Maybe you can do a little less generalizing and a little more time going after guys who aren't into partying.

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    • By the same way, I mean irresponsible, selfish and into partying.

  • I don't think all guys in their early 20s thinks like that.

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  • I feel like your talking about an isolated population in a specific area. Expand your horizons. Stop meeting people at clubs n parties.

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  • isn't that what girls at that age want too?

    Here's a tip, I'm not saying you do this but if you want to meet good men then dont hang out at bars and nightclubs, hang out at parks, community centers, churches, volunteer places

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  • person by person basis, but you would have better luck with commitment if you dated someone 25-30, as men at this age are more likely over the party stage (also have a good job) and many want to find a wife.

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  • Honestly, I never actually go looking for a relationship. If it happens, then that's great. If it doesn't, then that's okay too. I'm in one now and I'm pretty serious about it. Though I wouldn't be bothered if I was single when I died.

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  • It really depends on the guy.

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  • The guys people are looking for in their early 20's, are trying to get a job, are in the military or schooling. you won't find them till they feel they can provide for themselves and a partner/family.

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  • I feel the same way about girls in their early 20s.

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  • Why should they commit? Look at the divorce rate for your age group. Those guys have it figured out: don't get serious at a time in life where it simply ruins both short and long-term happiness and pleasure.

    And frankly, the only guys who want to commit at that age are losers. They hope being the type who commits will give them a chance at getting even just a date, much less sex.

    To top it off, most girls at that age have no idea what they want in a relationship, have no idea how to evaluate a relationship, are going to change their minds (and likely end the relationship), are naive about sex and love, AND often have wildly unrealistic expectations and demands.

    Much better to simply Fuck a girl like that. She isn't ready for the real thing, so why offer it?

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  • Teenagers and a lot of people in their early twenties are not yet emotionally mature enough for a relationship.

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  • Why is *that* immature but being so keen for a relationship isn't? I can just as easily say you're just too attracted to the idea of relationships and you've romanticized commitment. What makes one better than the other?

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  • Im nothing like that and I'm younger. Im able to be serious and ass/boobs are not the only thing no my mind. There are many people like this, wait and see. I'm not fond of late nights drinking. I don't want sex I want love. I can commit.
    Remember give them a chance first, and tell them what you want. If they cont do that there not right for you, despite what you think.

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  • What is funny is that you don't realize the mutual immaturity. Yes they are immature, but you and your friends are trying to date guys that are immature and clearly aren't serious. Why do you think that is? It's a degree of immaturity too. Different than theirs, but all the same.

    If you want to be in a relationship, be serious about it and stop going after guys who aren't relationship material. Judge them by their actions.

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  • They're dateable, they're just untouchable, word life

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What Girls Said 5

  • Sounds like you're talking about a type of "person", not a type of "guy". And traits like party animal and womanizer are pretty easy to spot early on, so why bother dating the guy if you know that's who he is. Of course take them at their word! And thank em for being honest and not wasting your time. If you stick around after that just so you can complain about your boyfriend who has 'commitment issues' it's your problem.

    And if you feel ready to settle down, go online date or ask a friend to set you up, and stop trying to find a commitment guy at clubs and parties. BUT in my opinion, if you're in your early 20s, what's the rush? As long as they were upfront, I think your exes had the right idea...

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  • Well, that's sounds like me when I was in my early twenties. It just isn't the best time to find a long term partner, I mean - are you looking for a husband? Why are you trying to force this, if someone likes you enough then it won't matter that they weren't looking for a relationship.

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    • Women in your generation were better. Women in my generation want to settle down WAY too early.

  • I wouldn't say that's exclusive to men. I know a lot of women like that too. It really depends on the person.

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  • Note: Their brains are underdeveloped.

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    • Or maybe girls like u should go to someone much older.

    • I don't buy this brain development myth. If someone doesn't TRAIN their brain, their brain will be underdeveloped their entire life.

  • I have always dated much older men with pro athletes being the only exception.

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