My girlfriend called me average looking and now I'm insecure?

[Anonymous]

Well my girlfriend told me I was average looking. Soo I'm pretty much fucked since as soon as some pretty boy comes along she's gonna dump me. average to me means nothing special just another one that's has nothing going for him. Wht do I do?

Yes girls are shallow too and no I don't trust ANY girl

[ilostmynewunicorn]

"my girlfriend told me I was average looking" and then " girls are shallow too". Yes because you worrying that you are not hot makes you look very deep and "un-shallow". Pfft. The hypocrisy.

"as soon as some pretty boy comes along she's gonna dump me", then that means that
1) You are boring.
2) She is not someone you want to be close with.

I am on the low end of average and by the end of high school and beginning of college I had girls chase me everywhere I went, simply because I'm more than what I look. I know where to go with my life and what to do, and I make a decent income from freelancing and ghostwriting in several blogs.
Some girls will call me ugly, but there's not one girl that will call me uninteresting. There are also some that would call me annoying because when I'm too much into something I kinda turn into TBBT's Sheldon.

But there's no way someone I dated would leave me to someone just because he's cuter, and even if she did there's no way I would care about that.
The way you care about this kind of stuff speaks tons about the kind of person you are.

[Asker]

well while I belive that you might get girls if you think a woman won't leave you or cheat on you with the next pretty boy she can attract you're delusional my brother :/

[ilostmynewunicorn]

@Asker
Nah no I'm not. My first girlfriend had friends so hot that I thought I never had a chance with her.

As long as you have something you're passionate about, and you go with it, girls will go after you. And you won't care if someone cheats you, because:
A) The most important thing in your life should always be your passion/dream, and never your looks or any girl in the whole world.
B) You should be so focused in who you want to be that you don't care if someone rejects you or leaves you for someone else.

[Asker]

whats importnat to me is to look amazing and be healthy we all have different things mine might be shallow but its what it is and I never said i wanted to have many women just to look good for myself

[ilostmynewunicorn]

@Asker
If the most important thing for you is the way you look, then you're going to attract people into your life to whom the most important thing is the way you look. And if somebody else looks better, they are going to leave you to get them.

You are shallow and insecure. You are going to attract people who are shallow and insecure.

That's your choice. You don't get to complain and whine about it.

[Asker]

that theory is not true i know plenty of guys and girls who are extremly shallow and insecure and they have nice people as partners and to be honest we are all shallow to an extent

[ilostmynewunicorn]

I'm pretty sure your girlfriend also looks "nice" to an outsider. You can't tell if someone is insecure or shallow until you're in a relationship with them.

Look, this is the kind of person you are. Who do you think you would attract? You need a slap in the face and to open your eyes because you're not seeing the big picture here.

Do you think a nice, funny, and smart girl will ever want to date you? NO. What do you have to offer her? NOTHING. You only care about your looks, that means nothing. Spoiler alert: when you get 35 you will lose all those looks, and then you'll have nothing to back that up and no way to sustain a family. Smart girls know that and stay the heck away from you.

Who's left? Shallow, insecure girls that are only looking for fun, or that can't get anyone else to date them. Again, it's your choice. You chose to focus on your looks instead of focusing on an education. This is what you get. It only gets worse.

[ilostmynewunicorn]

If all you have to offer are good looks and physical attraction, you're going to get people who only want good looks and physical attraction. You are not thinking straight if you keep asking for something else.

[Asker]

dude i have a master degree and a good job how does a job corralate to any of this? I work hard but that doesn't mean my job is my passion... who in gods name likes work its just something you have to do. and I'm a good person in contest i care about my looks so what?

[ilostmynewunicorn]

I love my job and I would give up everything else in my life to keep doing it <3 (expect people I love and family of course).

The thing here is, you don't care about your looks. You are obsessed about them. You have a job and a masters, sorry, I took some big assumptions up there that I probably shouldn't have. Still the main point is the same.

If you are obcesed about your looks, then you're going to get people who are obcessed about them as well. I was talking about jobs because everyone who knows me knows that if they get me talking about my job or another interest of mine, I'd go for 10 hours talking about why I love it and why it matters so much to me.

From my conversation with you, you don't have any interest at all in your life besides your looks. And your looks are going to go away. Besides, this is boring. What do you talk about? What makes your eyes spark? What makes you an interesting guys? Your looks mean nothing to a girl who wants to get serious with you.

[Asker]

Sorry man I don't see why a girl would be with and ugly dude to be honest. I never see girls go "ohh man that guys has such hot confidence" they always say" Oh fuck rock hard abs on that one, must bang"

This is a bit satirical of an example but you catch my drift. If you are good looking like is great, easy to get a girlfriend, better job opportunities and everything is all fine and dadny (given you don't have serious issues like illness or such)

[ilostmynewunicorn]

I don't agree. Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, Donald Trump. You can't even compare their success with The Rock or Vin Diesel. Even Brad Pitt can only dream of having the fame and fortune those guys have (well, maybe not Donald).

You may not understand why girls are attracted to ugly guys. There's actually a biological explanation for that but yea I'm not bothering with it. The cold fact is, they are, And I'm a living proof of that.

I agree that being healthy and a good body matters a lot. Especially because it helps YOU, I couldn't care less if it impresses girls or not. Exercise, skin care, showering, all that is essential and good. However, you should do that for YOU.

The fact is you are obcessed with yourself and with girls. I know a lot of people like you. Some of them are fun to be around, but they are boring. "Hey what do you aspire to become one day" "I don't know, but check the ass on that one".
That's not the way the world works. Go listen to "Ill Mind of Hopsin 5".

[ilostmynewunicorn]

*most of them are ultimately

[Asker]

Well yeah but those are isolated extreme cases of success I'm talking about everyday people with everyday lives. And in this case the actors got there with their looks because lets me honest most of those guys acting sucks... The only good looking actor that I thought was funny was ashton kutcher because of his role as michael kelso thats 70s show.

Anyways in real life pretty boys and hot girls got it made. A hot girl doesn't even have to work to live and a hot guy is more likely to get a job even if his credentials are not as high as the other guy, I've seen it happen I bet you have too.

As of being boring I don't really asume I am since I got a bunch of friends to be honest the only one that seems to hate me is well, myself.

[ilostmynewunicorn]

Depends on the job. Most jobs today don't work like that. Some still do, of course. For example, they are only going to choose cute girls and cute guys to be models and to have face-to-face interactions with clients (say, a sales person, a car dealer, secretary, etc) even if an uglier guy has better experience and qualification. That's just a fact.

However in most jobs nowadays it doesn't work like that. For example I do all my work in front of a computer screen. The highest paid jobs nowadays are either done this way or in labs. There's no need to show your face. My neighbor looks like a dog who got ran over and he drives a Mustang (he works as a molecular researcher for an international beer company).
So yea, some jobs are, and will always be, reserved for handsome people. Others aren't. I really don't think this is something you should focus on.

[Jay-Are]

So let me get this straight. A women gets hit on just about every day which makes that being hit on 365 times per year. Multiply that by how old she is and you get a substantial amount of guys that tried and failed. But out of all of those guys you actually got her and you're being insecure about it? Where is the logic in that?

[Asker]

The point is that she thinks she's better than me and she will cheat on me with a pretty boy. she's probably just using me or something

[Jay-Are]

Using you for your Ferrari or that beautiful mansion that you just bought?
You are now starting to think things that have not even happened.

Not saying that looks don't matter but girls are more into the perception of a man and his qualities. When you talk like this her perception of you will no be so high. So it's not the average looks that drive her into the arms of another man but your insecurity. Hate to bring it to you like that.

Maybe she was just testing to see how strong you are and you kind of failed. Don't let this face you. Just change this attitude. I just gave you 365 times her age reasons not to be insecure. Don't crumble when she says something like that. Don't say something like "Please baby don't leave me" but just make a joke like "I may not have the looks but thank god I have a magnetic personality". Show that you are of higher value than the other guys. Show her that you are a man by being a man. That's all you need to do. Don't worry.

[Asker]

I didn't tell her anything it sunk in when I was at home and I asked this question, But A while ago I just broke it off. I don't wanna talk to her anymore.

And No I didn't mean using me for my belongins but using me to feed her ego till the next guy she actually likes comes along...

[Letstrend]

I bet she didn't want it to come off in such a wrong way. Average looking to me means not TOO goodlooking, but also surely not bad. You're just you. If she's with you then she already likes you for you and your personality, that's a win-win situation to me. Don't take it so personal, you don't want to look and have to be insecure.

[Asker]

No I just broke it off with her I'm never dating again... -.-

[Lonewolf0321]

If you don't date... You'll be sad and all alone for the rest of your life.😕

[Asker]

oh well never been a happy person anyways lol

[Poppykate]

Wow, what a b... Seriously, what was she thinking? If any guy called his girl ' alright or average, he would be picking up his ass off the sidewalk. Or picking up his clothes from the curb. You deserve better. Everyone deserves better!

[aoifeislovable]

Well is she average too? She's with you for a reason... just keep that in mind

[Asker]

nope , she's hot. Yeah for a reason like "I'm gonna take advamntage of this meal ticket while I bang hot guys behind his back"

[aoifeislovable]

Well then she dosent deserve you and you should find someone better

[Asker]

how can I find anyone better I'm only "average" :)

[Lonewolf0321]

Like someone said, other girls has other point of views of guys.

[Asker]

no pretty much everyone agrees on centain things thta are attractive they just choose betwen those

[cjriggs]

Lol seriously dude, if you had a backbone and some self esteem you wouldn't even care.

"Yes girls are shallow too and no I don't trust ANY girl"

Are you 12? You sound like it. Get off your laptop, go out and meet some people. I've met some pretty amazing girls.

And yes, you are insecure.

[Asker]

yeah I'm insecure I stated that myself in my quetsion and no I'm not 12 and I know people are shallow as fuck :)

[cjriggs]

Sure some are, but most aren't. You just need a HUGE confidence boost. Work out, run, sing, dance, create, do whatever it takes too grow a spine.

[Asker]

I work out all the time the fact of the matter its not about confidence its about the fact that some people are ugly and some are good looking ugly ones are inferior

[cjriggs]

I'm sorry you think that way. Wishing you all the best.

[Asker]

thanks I appreacite it

[Octavius]

"Yes girls are shallow too and no I don't trust ANY girl"

So this and along with how your replies to other commenters, I think this situation never happened and you only made up your story with your supposed girlfriend to just say how you think all women are untrustworthy...

[Anonymous]

LoL The hypocrisy of people here...

I read all their answers and I know if you were a girl saying this, they would try to make her feel better or think the guy who said that to her is an asshole etc.
They would never say shit like "most girls are average don't worry" . LOL.

f*cking hypocrites.

[Asker]

is like when girls are shallow as hell with a guys height or muscles or whatever she's picky but if a guy says he don't like no fat chicks he's a shallow F**K

[SakuraChii]

At least 80 or 90 percent of people in the world are average looking. Average means normal. If your going to have a mindset like that then maybe it's not a good idea to be in a relationship now.

[Asker]

average is the nice way to call someone ugly everyone knows this

[TheSpartan]

I'm with him. Average is not good enough for someone like me either. In the things I care about, I must make myself beyond exceptional.

[LovesTVDx]

Obviously she's with you for your personality then? That's way more meaningful than if she was with you for your looks
Stop generalising the whole female population, makes you sound like a bit of a prick tbh

[Asker]

nah that bitch is gonna dump me for a pretty boy or cheat because thats how women are :)

[LovesTVDx]

It's like saying all men are ignorant divs like you but I'm developed enough to know that's not true :)

[Asker]

Call me what you want I don't really care...

[Anonymous]

Your girl is bitch. If she called you like that. She's just looking for "body" which fades away no matter how attractive you are when you'll get older everyone gets more or less bad :)

I would dump her and say yes I may be average, but you're not even close to that.

[TheSpartan]

Start Stronglifts 5x5, lose fat, and get a badass body. Master your grooming skills, get a nice haircut, and grow some facial hair. If you're still dissatisfied, get some facial surgery to be better looking.

Boom--problem solved.

[Asker]

Well to be completely honest with you I've been lifting for about 4 months I'm still skinny even after some newbie gains but I try to grind it hard with a calorie surplus and good sups like creatine , guess i'll have to be really patient since i'm extremely skinnyy

[TheSpartan]

What are your starting lifts and your current lifts?

[Asker]

Well to be honest at first I could lift much:

Bench: about 95
squat about the same
deadlifts where like about 125

Now its like

Bench 145
Squats like 155
deadlifts where like about 160 ish

[TheSpartan]

Are these your one rep maximums?

[Asker]

No those are my fullset maximums I never tried to find out my one rep maxes

[TheSpartan]

What are your reps per set?

[Asker]

I usually got for 10 and as soon as I can do my four sets of ten with a certain weight I inscreade the weight by 10 pounds

[TheSpartan]

Your one rep maximums are all in the low 200s. That's acceptable for your bench press, but certainly not for your deadlifts or squats. I would try Stronglifts 5x5 for a while.

[Asker]

I will look into that I also keep them low because I have a back problem (fractured it some time ago) and I get scared to put all tha weight on my spine and by the way I only weight 135 atm

I used to weight 108 at 5'9" so that could play a factor whiy they are so low

[TheSpartan]

Clear it with your doctor, then. If he says your back is fine for deadlifts and squats, then don't worry about how much weight you're pulling or pressing.

[Asker]

actually doctor said it was okay it's my own fear that keeps me lol

[SwaggyD619]

Bruh you need to start going above and beyond to make this girl feel like a queen give her the treatment she will miss and won't get anywhere else. you can be average and still stand out from the rest!

[Asker]

fuck that I dont need to be bending over backwards for anyone

[SwaggyD619]

Well looks like your girlfriend will be bending over for some other dude quite soon. Especially since she seems like heavily orientated on looks

[Asker]

Thgat wouldn't surprise me to be honest

[SwaggyD619]

Well dude dump her find a chick who doesn't make you feel insecure. And never look back

[Asker]

I just did

[Cjanes]

If you don't trust her leave her and save her the trouble of your insecurities

[e900325151]

Did she straight up tell you your average? How did she word it?

[zombiebabe]

yup its true that the one you like can kill your self confidence... but just stop generalizing

[idkwtftoputhere]

Most people in this world are average looking, nothing is wrong with mediocrity.

[Anonymous]

That's not nice to say. When Im with a man I tell him he the best and I don't like anyone but him

[Asker]

of course it's not she pretty much called me an ugly f...

[Opinion Owner]

She could have said it to make you insecure. Was she moody or anything how did this come about? Did you ask her what she thinks of you?

[Asker]

not really moody nothing she just said that I'm average

[Opinion Owner]

Maybe she trying to make you feel insecure then. It's not really a nice thing for someone to say that. Your meant to make the person your with feel there the best and you don't want anyone else

[Asker]

If thats the case then jokes on her cause I dumped her a while ago

[ConfusedGuy96]

What' the problem with that? At least she was honest.

[Asker]

avergae = unattractive

[ConfusedGuy96]

Not really. Average is between good looking and ugly. At least she picked you out of all the millions of other average looking guys in this world, i think you should be happy for that.

[Asker]

not really happy about being "average" at all. I want to be hot npot perfect but at least top tier -.-

[Anonymous]

Insecurity is such an attractive trait. you'll do well with that...

[Anonymous]

Most people are average. Big deal. She's prob average too.

[Asker]

no, she's not

[Opinion Owner]

To you she isn't. To others she prob is

[Asker]

no most guys agree she's hot to be honest

[Opinion Owner]

and maybe most girls agree you're hot

[Asker]

not really

[Opinion Owner]

Stop being a cry baby.

[Asker]

not being a cry baby but that logic makes no sense its only positive thinking, reality is one thin and one thing only. Most girls agree on whats hot and not hot same as guys.

[Opinion Owner]

Dump her if it makes you this upset

[Asker]

I already said I did dumped her over text :)

[Opinion Owner]

Yayay 👏👏 feel good now?

[Asker]

actually no I'm still ugly -.- :)

[Opinion Owner]

Average isn't ugly, weirdo

[Asker]

actually yes it is

[Opinion Owner]

No it isn't go educate yourself

[Asker]

anything bellow above average is ugly in sociaties standarts

[Opinion Owner]

You don't even know how to spell...

[Asker]

enlish is my third language and I have master degree in science hardly stupid if thats what your dumbass is trying to hint at :)

[Opinion Owner]

What's your first and second language?

[Asker]

Spanish and french

[Opinion Owner]

Cool lets fuck

[Asker]

wait that escalated rather quickly...

[Opinion Owner]

Keep up mofo

[Asker]

okay just start sucking my ding then -.- 8 ==D

[Opinion Owner]

Is it big?

[Asker]

I guess

[KDA20]

That is a bit of a leap - Don't overthink it

[Reflexy]

Literally 90% of guys are average looking.

[Asker]

exactly I wanna be in the 10% who isn't...-,-

[Reflexy]

5% are ugly and 5% very good looking

[Asker]

Actually no average IS ugly lol

[Reflexy]

Average is not ugly

[Asker]

yes it is -.-