Ok to ask another guy for help?

We have been dating for a year but do not live together. Both of us are 30 with no kids.

I bought a few trees and shrubs a few weeks ago to do landscaping in my yard. I don't have a truck to carry them and am not super strong myself so I asked my guy to help bring to my house for me in his pick up. He said yes and that he would help me plant them too. Great!

Fast forward a few weeks to today and it hasn't been done. He has said to me almost every day (when I ask), that he'll get them done for sure today or this week. Obviously that hasn't happened. The tree place does not do refunds and have been phoning asking me when I'm going to pick up my stuff. They have the option of delivery and planting but they charge several hundred to do so, which is more than half the price of the trees themselves.

Now, I realize I'm asking my guy to do me a favor by helping me transport and plant trees and I understand it's not the most fun thing to do. But I specifically asked him for help and I told him that this is important to me because I want to spruce up my new house. I've even said to him last weekend that he can just let me know if he really doesn't want to do it and I'll just cancel the order (this was before I found out there is a no refund policy); his response was "no babe, i'm happy to do it, i'll get it done for sure this week." It's now Thursday and his excuse every day is "sorry I'll do it tomorrow." Tomorrow has not come yet.

I guess my question is - is it ok for me to just ask another guy for help instead? I assume the obvious answer is yes but I get that some men feel disrespected or insulted by their woman going to someone else for help.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • actually it seems like he doesn't wanna help but he doesn't say it str8-forward, but instead he plays it nice n helpful which is worse.

    it'd be better to say "no i don't want to" than sayin "i'll do it tomorrow"

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    • Nice to know that I have a boyfriend who doesn't want to help me. I don't understand why he doesn't just say no - I straight up told him he can refuse and I'll cancel the order. Why not take the out that I gave him instead of repeatedly lying to me?

    • so in order to appear nice as i said

What Guys Said 1

  • Hey, you gave him the chance. He doesn't have any basis for complaining if you have to turn to someone else for help. If he complains, tell him to look in a mirror~!

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