Girls, It seems harder to meet a woman with no baggage. Why is this?

It just seem woman older then 21 have kids , been in bad relationships, other issues, commitment, why is this is ther any normal, smart, classy female looking for a great guy for a ltr?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Baggage usually refers to:

    • Children
    • Legal Issues
    • Surviving Abuse

    Any of these three things can interfere with freely committing to a new relationship as they are taxing on her emotions and mental state more than anything. To worry about any of them requires her attention at all times. Children are going to be a lifelong commitment to her, but eventually will give her more time to focus on a relationship as the children grow. Legal issues eventually clear up. But abuse is something that can take a long time to recover from, and depending on the severity of it, her ability to trust may always affect her.

    But you included some things in your baggage list that people commonly have that don't have children, legal issues, or surviving abuse go through. These are things that just happens called life, giving us all experiences so that we know how to take on new relationships and grow from.

    For example, bad relationships. I think if you ask any 13 year old, they are going to consider a crush they had in the fifth grade who broke their heart still affects them in their own adolescent way. They don't understand more mature, sexual relationships that exhaust our emotions in so many ways. But nonetheless, the damage is there, no matter how small someone else sees it. To them, this is our version of a 'bad relationship'. So my point is, we ALL have bad relationship experiences. All of us. No one gets away with not experiencing a rotten experience with another human being unless they've lived under a rock until now. We attempt to soldier on and find decent people in our lives so we can be happy with our choices. Some people work out, some don't, I don't care if it's friendships or romantic relationships. We all are experiencing something good and bad as we go along in life. Why fault a potential mate for the same things we all go through?

    The other was commitment. People everywhere now are plain cautious. This is such an unpredictable world, and giving up too much can cause some damage with just one person. Even social media damage and the use of electronic communication is too easy when people want to ruin lives. To be wary of the world now is smart. But this is before people get to know one another and slowly start to build trust. This is normal and I doubt you're going to meet intelligent women who are quick to commit knowing what's good for them.

    Your "normal, smart, classy" females actually find you... (more)

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    • Women going about their normal lives are doing “normal things” focusing on their lives and usually happily spending time with friends and family not even realizing that you’re out there looking for them. This is how I was before meeting my husband, who I met while on vacation in his home town, and I consider myself pretty normal. He worked in a tourist-y type of medium, and I, the tourist, fell for him. The rest is history.

      If you want to attract normal and classy, be normal and classy also. (I know, you’ll probably say you already are.) Stop focusing on the princesses, trouble-makers, and weaklings. Noticing them too much, even if there are tons out there, limits your ability to spot what’s good out there. If you have the attitude, “Oh look, one more phony gold-digger,” then you will be right. Identify them quickly, then move along.

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    • I'm using the ridiculous 13 year-old example because it's sort of correlates to the "I never got that red wagon for Christmas" mentality people use for putting insurance on their problems in life. I seriously have met guys who were heartbroken at the age of 19 in a non-sexual relationship with a girl of the same age, who dated for a month, and felt damaged enough to take bitterness with him in to his twenties. I mean come on, where do we draw the line at "bad relationship" issues. Some people, men AND women are fucking ridiculous when they are exposed to the same relationship stimuli as everyone else but seem to take it way worse than others. LOL I mean, we're all different, sure, and I guess I shouldn't knock someone's feelings. But if their example of a bad relationship was they didn't get their CDs back as opposed to they cheated and took their truck, then I have to question the mental strength someone has in order to consider a relationship with them.

What Girls Said 11

  • Yes, harder when yo are looking in all the wrong places and perhaps at all the wrong gals... that have easily attracted others into lair from such places.

    The ones you're apparently shopping for are too busy to go out much and don't spruce up to attract strangers over to their table... they are out to relax/rest/socialize with friends &/or on a project/practice associated with their hobby/interests.

    1. join a dance class, which will eventually introduce you to the women network, classmates/friends that will help you shop
    2. dancing also opens up social events/venues where gals stand in line to take turns with a guy who can dance (so rare) ... another shopping mall for you
    3. joining co-ed sports teams or organizations e. g. swimming, tennis, friends of library, etc. of interest to you will rub shoulders with others that become a network

    Agreed, some networks can produce homebodies that won't do much to be a great companion but they always produce a few keepers that made themselves too busy to shop the market, out of frustration that their few fishing trips netted no fish worthwhile

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  • Because most have settled down already with someone better.

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    • You sound like you have a lot of anger and major baggage. Its obvious your nasty for no reason wow feel sorry for you. You need help to solve your nasty meanspirted nature but feel you can't help yourself. I pity you.

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    • Bruh I started openly laughing at *Hahahaha keep going, child. Your misplaced vitriol amuses me.*

      😆 asker you better quit, you sound dumb rn

    • Bardsy doesn't know me personally. You're ridiculous. Keep going. You amuse me greatly.

  • They vulnerably exposed themselves to the wrong men and it created long term damage.

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  • shit happens man. But if girls can't let go or move on from that stuff then you deserve better. Don't get hung up on that stuff

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  • Because you're in that age...
    And over it actually.

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  • keep looking.. you will find her

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  • Surely at 34 you have some " baggage" too?

    A girl of 18 can have lots of " baggage " due to issues relating to her childhood , or low self- esteem due to lack of confidence. I don't think you'll find any woman without any " baggage" at all

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  • What else do you expect to meet in bars?

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  • Because most people have, if they havn't they've probably been sheltered most of their lives.

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  • Everyone has something whether they admit it or not. Even guys. If not, you haven't experienced love. It's the price we all pay for dating. It doesn't matter who you choose. We all experience heartbreak. It's how they've dealt with it that matters. I myself have lost the love of my life to suicide. Was I wrong to choose him? No. He treated me better than most guys ever could. You never know what the future brings, and it can affect you in many ways. I'll always have a fear of completely falling in love again or at least for the foreseeable future. It's the price of loving unfortunately.

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  • everyone has baggage, even you, Handsome.

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    • How do you know if i have baggage? I have no kids issues etc.

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    • okay i do

    • @Asker Can you point out where she called you a name? I missed that. Must have been a comment removed by an admin?

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