Am I being reasonable? Was giving her an ultimatum the right thing to do?

I have been in a relationship for a little over 6 months, she lives in Colombia and is very, very attractive. She considers herself a 'celebrity' in Colombia, has done some modeling and a few music videos, but nothing that has made it internationally. I visit her and things are natural, her mother and sister love me and support our relationship, but she will not tell her father or friends not in her immediate circle about me. I know facebook and other social networking sites can be juvenile, but she posts sexy pictures every day which I had to get used to and other men comment on how they want to be with her and she flirts back with them. She told me that I am the most serious relationship that she has been in, only 4 in her life, and her father has never known about any of her boyfriends. Her father and mother are divorced and live separately, sh is the only source of income for her family, her father does not help. When I visited her, I felt bad because she is poor, no television and lives on the carribbean coast with no AC, so I surprised her and her family with a television and a small AC to help improve her standard of living. I send about $50 a week she can buy food for her family; just enough for her to get by and for me to not feel taken advantage of.

The problem is that she said she wants to keep her social profile and private profile separate; so she refuses to accept my relationship status request on Facebook and everytime I post a comment, usually after another man posts a comment like she is so beautiful and the love of their life, she deletes my comment, but responds to them. This has gone on for several months and irritates me and has led to many arguments; my view is either delete every comment or keep mine. I am sure she is not cheating on me and think that she loves the attention, but I finally told her that either she needs to accept me in all parts of her life, or we need to end the relationship. Was this the right thing to do?

Updates:
I think everyone has a good point and I have respected her wishes to maintain a private personal life and separate social profile; but it seems like she wants a commitment without committing herself. I am sticking with my ultimatum; I don't care how attractive someone is, I am not anyone's doormat... Thanks
Thank you, I decided to end the relationship. She deleted her public profiles in an attempt to 'save' the relationship, but her experience has been to delete for a couple of weeks and start her social profiles again... I can say that I am happier now being out of the relationship than I was in the relationship. Yes, it sucks because I will likely not have a relationship with someone as attractive as her, but you can only get by on your looks for a few years before they start to fade.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I honestly think she likes the attention. She fears that if she makes it public that she's taken she'll get less male attention and her popularity will go down. However I think at a point she has to realize that other male attention shouldn't matter to her. She should be proud and happy of your relationship. I think you did the right thing :)

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I'm sorry man. Sounds to me like she is straight using you for your generosity. PERIOD. She is simply stringing you along and keeping herself out there until she can find someone better than you.. Stop and think logically. It is painfully obvious that she doesn't think nearly as highly of you as you do of her. There are many reasons for keeping a social and private profile separate. I understand this. However, what would the purpose be of wanting to basically keep you a secret?
    My advise would be to accept this for what it is. You are her sugardaddy. If you enjoy her company and intimacy and want to keep her around for that then by all means get your's!!! However, If you are hoping that somehow you can put an ultimatum on this woman so she becomes exclusively your's than you are setting yourself up for a broken heart.

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What Girls Said 2

  • Yes. And in my country we call you a sponsor. Your basically sponsoring her life, there's nothing serious going on between you two or that will ever go on unless you offer even bigger things. She hasn't settled and she is not ready to settle and that's why she will continue deleting your comments on social media. It's good to know where you stand and if your comfortable being that in her life then by all means but if it hurts you an ultimatum won't work and maybe you should get used to it or leave her and move on to someone who will love you for you. I was also a girl who got so many hits on social media and had enough friends and loved it but when I met the man who changed me, all of that changed I even changed my contacts for him because I wanted to be with him and I was not hiding it or looking for attention anymore his was enough. Sorry

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  • Absolutely. If she isn't confident and comfortable with you, then how is your relationship going to go any further? Also, of she is flirting with other guys who are giving her attention, then perhaps there is the risk of her being unfaithful in the relationship? I think that you definitely need to talk to her about your feelings and opinions in the matter and see what she says. If she's not willing to accept you pr if she's not comfortable in being with you, maybe it's time to call it off? Of course it is up to you, just do whatever makes you happy :)

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What Guys Said 1

  • i dont think it was. in this situation its one of the things where she gives attention to others but you are the only one that actually gets anything. its just like most social media famous girls they date like normal people but they can't always tell everybody on social media because most of their fans are the thirsty dudes i their comments.

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