Me and my girlfriend are having a kid but I don't want to do all that "stuff" and am not ready for a kid. I have more to say but can someone help out?

The "stuff" i mention is like going to the park, pushing the kid on the swing, all of that stuff. i don;t want to do that and also i'am not ready for a kid. My girlfriend told me 3 days ago and i wasn't excited then she got kind of mad and told me to step up and be a man. I'am not at that point of taking care of a kid and i'am going through my own troubles.

As a child my dad always worked and never once took me to the park and we never threw the ball around or any of that stuff. My mom was the one doing that. I myself don't really want to go to the park either. I know it sounds bad but it's how i feel.

i'am not sure what to do now. i was wondeirng if any of you have any tips? I told my girlfriend the truth that i'am not really ready and the only thing she said is "don't you dare leave me". I won't leave but i'am just in a tough position


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Most Helpful Girl

  • If you are old enough to play, you're old enough to pay. Simply said if you had sex, you are responsible for any life that develops from it. You either have to decide you will step up or you have to live with being a dead beat Dad. This is not only your GF's responsibility it's yours as well. The baby is not going to need to go to the park the day it's born, but your girlfriend is going to need emotional and financial support from you the entire pregnancy and afterwards. Don't worry if you do not have these bonding feelings right now they should develop for your child over time (once it's born and you spend some time with it) and then you will want to be more involved in it's life and day to day maintenance. Or at least you can hope. PS most children are not planned and most of the parents turn out fine.

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    • well the financial thing is going to be hard. like i want my girlfriend to feel good about it but when she see's me sad she gets kinds mad and worried, she keeps thinking i will leave but i won't. I don't know like i'am not ready but i guess i have to live with it. i will support my girlfriend 100%

    • I was 15 when I got pregnant, which was 100% my fault (according to the guy) so I dealt with the pregnancy (alone) and the child birth (alone) and the raising of the child (once again alone) AND I survived and I raised an amazing kid in the process, so if I can do it alone, you should be able to do it together which I think would be a little easier. I think you should be honest about your fear so YOU don't feel so alone and then maybe you can both be there for each other.

    • ohhhh my. 15 years old? damn. (no offence but i you are the first person that i know of right now who got pregnant that early).

      That was stupid of that guy leaving you, very very selfish of him. I don't know how he could live with himself. But i'am glad you raised you child up good :)

      Reading what you wrote really changed my perspective on this a lot. Yeah the truth is i'am scared of raising a child cause my dad wasn't really with me cause he was always working, never spent time with me. I'am also scared cause I don't know how to deal with certain circumstances. i'am not sure how i will get the finances but i guess my girlfriend is thinking the same thing. i will be by her side the whole time and i guess we have to take it day by day

What Girls Said 5

  • You're gonna have to accept responsibility and do those things. You just found out and you're freaking. That's normal. I think as the pregnancy progresses and you become more used to the idea you'll feel more ready. For now, you need to be there for your girlfriend and if that means faking it a bit then do it.

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    • but i'am not eager. i think she is. She loves kids but at the same time didn't really want one at our age (24). I been with her for 4 years so i won't be leaving her but i'm scared to actually tell her how i feel about this all cause I don't know how she will reatc. So should i just fake it until later on or something? ORR will she be even more mad. i still can't figure out how you girls work aha.

    • Be honest with her that you were caught off guard and that you aren't quite ready for this, but you love her and you'll love the kid and you need time to get used to the idea and ready, but you support her all the way.

    • i mean yes i love her but like where will we find the money? sometimes i feel like this child is going to be very very very bad, financially. i will support my girlfriend, but i can't sleep cause of the thought of that :(

  • We all have to do things we don't want to do. You stuck your sick in her then you will take your kid to the park

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    • well I don't know maybe she can take the kid to the park for most times

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    • The thing is, is that I recognize if I am having sex I am ready to step up if need to.

    • things were just quick. i will step up. I have no choice really

  • have you told your girlfriend the truth? Also did y'all use any kind of protection at all?

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    • If you leave her she sounds like the type to try and ruin you with child support.

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    • That's where you fucked up. You should have used it all the time or made sure she was using birth control. You should tell her the WHOLE truth of how you feel about it.

      You dun goof dude.

    • i know :( i cannot reverse it now but i will try my best

  • Should have wrapped it up or found different forms of birth control. Not much you can do now.

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  • If your man enough to get her pregnant you need to be man enough to care for this child.. grow a pair

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    • i will take care of my kid

What Guys Said 6

  • Usually I would say talk about it and possibly put it up for adoption. If your girlfriend wants to keep the baby, and you want to keep her, you're going to have to live with the consequences (quite literally). If you do keep the baby, try and be the best father you can be. A good father has to make sacrifices for his family, no matter how much he doesn't want to do something. If you end up doing all this "stuff", you won't only be a good father, but also a good boyfriend. Being there for the kid is being their for your girl.

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  • sometimes I feel bad that I'm a virgin but when I see questions like this I feel better ☺

    I think who's taking the kid to the park should be the least of your worries right now. You should be more concerned with how you're going to financially support the child.

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    • that is another worry

  • Taking your kid to parks and ball games will be the least of your worries, man.

    Don't stress too much about it now. Start working if you're not working yet and save up a good amount of money to take your girlfriend to her doctor appointments that she'll have to go to after the first trimester or so.

    Not everyone is excited when they first learn that they're gonna be a parent. Some are too shocked to even have a response, others resent it. Many also aren't ready. But very few stay in that mindset for long.

    I'm willing to bet that when you lay eyes on your son/daughter for the first time, you'll love that kid more than anything.

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  • You played big boys games, now you have big boy responsibilities

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  • Not everyone is ready when they have a kid. That's the consequence of taking the risk and losing. Now you are going to have to take responsibility for your actions. Dont worry, you'll figure it all out.

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  • I actually agree with your girlfriend here. You can actually do the things you were
    never able to do with your father. I rarely got to see or spend time with mine.
    Give your kid the father he deserves. Because you don't want him or her to hate you.

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