Do you believe in "lowering your standards" when it comes to dating?

I've heard this advice thrown a lot on the site. Do you believe in it and why?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • It is a shitty piece of advice given by - not trying to stereotype - men who have been shit on by women, and probably - though I've never seen it because I don't ask women questions on here, really - given by females who are ignorant about relationships and have been shit on as well. It usually includes an immature mindset.

    From experience, let me offer you some insight: when you do what most of society does and just settle for someone you can stand to be around, not the person you wish you could spend your life with, or someone that embodies the qualities you want in a life partner, you are selling yourself short and setting yourself up for failure/divorce before you ever start. If it's mediocre when it happens, it will be mediocre when it ends. That's my take. In the past, I've fallen for guys who were below my standards instead of waiting for a man that met my standards - a gentleman, kind, assertive, deep, hard worker, good heart - and got my heart ripped to smithereens and my time wasted.

    If you know what you want and you know what you need to truly be happy in a relationship in life, hold out for it. Know it will come. Know that the woman you wish you could meet is still out there. As many times as I've gotten shit on by men, I still keep out hope that a loving man is out there, thinking about me too, and trust me when I say that is a far better fate - the hope that two worlds will eventually collide - than that of being in a relationship/marriage with someone you know could never be your "one."

    Don't condemn yourself to that kind of miserable fate. Keep faith alive and find "the one." :)

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Most Helpful Guy

  • If you are one of these people that have ridiculously high standards then of course you need to lower them but you should not give in to true deal breakers. In fact giving in to true deal breakers is not helping you or the other person because if you get into a relationship with the person thinking oh it will be ok it is more than likely you will only be able to put up with the deal breaker for so long. To an extent yes people need to accept people for who they are but at the same time people also need to respect themselves and not let themselves get used either.

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What Girls Said 10

  • It's advisable to lower one's standards if they're perceived as unseasonably high, especially when the person with said standards doesn't actually meet them himself/herself.

    Classic example: obese guy/girl with shitty personality expects to land a flawless supermodel type with a kind heart, then whines when reality slaps them in the face.

    Of course, everyone can have as high standards as they please and of course one cannot help what they find attractive.

    But the bottom line is that most people want to date their equal and those with unseasonably high standards will struggle to find their ideal mate. It's not impossible, but highly unlikely.

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  • I firmly believe in "lowering your standards". Before expecting a prince charming for a boyfriend or a supermodel for a girlfriend, take a long hard look at yourself and honestly find three reasons why such a person should ever find you attractive/interesting.
    When I was a teenager I wanted a muscular, tall guy with dark hair and perfect face, nice style etc. etc. But as time went on I realized that a guy like that would never look at a fat, shy girl like me. Today I am married to a man totally different than my initial idea of "perfect partner", but I am more than happy with him. Our interests and quirks match just great.

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  • it really depends on what your standards are. if you're not that great looking and you're expecting a super model then yes lower them. if you're not fit and are expecting someone with abs then yes lower them. look at yourself first then expect an equal. not someone whos a millionaire while you can barely make ends meet. people are attracted to their own kind.

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  • I may lower some standards but my dealbreakers aren't going anywhere

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  • My physical standards are almost non-existent. My standards are based on a person's character and personality as well as the way that I am treated. No, I do not believe in lowering my standards.

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  • In order to lower your standards you have to put aside your sense of self-respect.

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  • It is not about standard but more of who I am attracted to or who makes me comfortable

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  • No!!
    Why should I lower my standards to be with a guy who I think is the one?

    I personally think that a guy would appreciate you more if you stick to your morals and do not change them just to be with someone

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  • Nope. Never.

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  • Be realistic and then, don't lower it.

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What Guys Said 6

  • No, never lower your standards. That's called giving up.

    Every guy who ended up with a chick who's "out of their league" had a moment when they thought, "Maybe I have to lower my standards... NAH, FUCK THAT!" And that eventually led to them meeting their glorious, gorgeous partner.

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  • I think if i lowered myn anymore then what they are now, I'd end up with some fucking cave troll or some shit xD.

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  • I think it just means for people that have standards for their partners that they themselves don't even come close to meeting.

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  • No, why should I have to date someone I'm not attracted to! ?

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  • Why should I lower my standereds for someone who I don't know yet?

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  • Just to knit pick less about certain things.

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