Ok, so my boyfriend is in jail one year mandatory. Been dating him for 3 years and love him very much. The thought of cheating on him never even has occurred to me and I told him that I was willing to wait for him.
Anyways, it's been half a year now. I do go to bars with guy friends and my boyfriend knows about it. He always tells me to be careful because he gets worried that I'd get taken advantage of... I always laughed about it because I never thought it'd happen to me.
but that's exactly what happened to me.
I went to the bar with this one friend (I haven't known him for long but I felt comfortable around him) and I got trashed. Didn't mean to... I usually drink beer and can handle myself. This particular night I ended up drinking whiskey and was pounding them like beers (big mistake). I remember blacking out and when I came to I was at my friend's house and I remember him trying to give me food and water to help me out. Then another blackout. But this time I when I came to, we were having sex. I freaked out and starting screaming stop, no! He stopped and tried to calm me down. When I asked him how the sex even started, he said that I came on to him first by kissing him? But I seriously don't freaking remember!!!
My boyfriend made it super clear to me that he'd leave me if he ever found out that I cheated/if I ever told him I cheated. No second chances. This sucks cause I didn't have any desire to cheat and I don't want to lose my boyfriend over something I can barely remember. What would you do? Tell him? Or just pretend that nothing happened?
- Pretend that it never happenedVote A
- Tell and lose him foreverVote B
Most Helpful Guy
There is an even more sinister side to this episode. If you were drunk, you may not have been in a fit state to consent to sex. It can be questioned as to whether he raped you. It may be he's using the classic excuse "She came on to me". That was probably bullshit!!
This is why I try to bemember to tell girls on here to watch for spiked drinks, not to consume too much alcohol, to stay away from drugs. I don't want them to do anything they will regret for years to come.
This is where you are now. You've got into a scenario where you have allowed something to happen, even if it was the guy's fault, that just cannot be put right.
Only you know how your boyfriend will react. Will he consider you raped and be sympathetic? Will he be angry and violent towards you? will he just dump you?
Is it likely he will find out from someone else? If not, I think the best thing to do is to stay very quiet. You have to live with what happened. That is enough. You don't want to risk any further scars. Stay quiet and hope, put it down to an experience never to be repeated.1
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Most Helpful Girl
Maybe your desires and surprised sexual need that you've had to control for so long since your boyfriend is in jail has arisen because of the alcohol. The alcohol took over and let the desire get the better of you or made you confuse that guy with you is your boyfriend. Anyway, it's your friends fault for going along with it if he knew you were drunk and yours too for pounding whisky like that. You have to come clean to your boyfriend and promise never to go drinking with the guys again or be in any state around men or even women that can make you vulnerable. Be honest with him.0