Girls, is it wrong that I feel like I'm in every girl's league?

I have a lot of confidence in what I have to offer a girl. I don't think I'm the greatest guy in the world or anything, but I do think that the girl who dates me is lucky, just as much as I'm lucky to date her. I've worked hard to accomplish goals in school and in the weight room to build my confidence to the point that I could approach a beautiful girl believing 100% that she would want to be with me. It was tough, because I came from a place where I had a ton of self-doubt, which killed girls' attraction to me the minute they sensed it.

The reason I ask this question is that I was talking to a female friend recently and she said, "You really think you can have any girl, don't you?" and I said yes. Since then, she acts differently around me. I don't get it. I'm tall, I'm attractive (girls have told me that), and I truly care about the girls I date. I'm not a player at all. So is it lame that I don't believe any girl is out of my league? Would it be better if I thought lowly of myself?


0|0
15

Most Helpful Girl

  • Haha! You sound awesome and I agree with you 100%. You should always feel like you are in every girl's or guys league, because nobody wants to have to reassure someone how handsome/beautiful/smart they are all the time. Sure, everyone gets insecure from time to time and there's nothing wrong or unattractive about that - it can even create a stronger bond, but I gather that you are more talking about overall confidence. It's good if it is strong - that's attractive and makes everyone involved feel a lot more secure and safe to joke around without worrying all the time that someone's tiny little ego might get crushed. However, I do know some people (of both genders) who prefer to be with a partner they feel superior to as a way of boosting their own self-confidence. Might your friend fall in that category?

    0|1
    0|0
    • That's a good point. She doesn't have very high confidence herself, so I could see her being put off by someone else with strong self-belief. The thing is, we usually get along great, it's only when the topic of dating and me getting girls comes up that she tries to kind of put me down a bit. I won't have it, though, which is why we may not be friends much longer.

    • Show All
    • Wow, that must have been really hard to hear... but you are so lucky that someone told you that! I tell this to my guy friends all the time, but they just don't want to hear it and figure out their confidence issues - just keep hoping that they will find a girl who will like them as they are, and then everything will be alright. I think it's something everyone probably knows on some level, but sometimes the message doesn't sink in until someone else confirms it for you. I'm curious though - how do you feel about insecure girls, do you find that attractive, or is that a similar turn-off?

    • It's not an absolute dealbreaker like it is for girls, but I do prefer confident girls, absolutely. The girls I've been most attracted to were athletes who lifted weights and great fitness because not only did their bodies look amazing, but they were totally confident in them. It's a big turn-on to be with a girl who loves herself.

What Girls Said 14

  • 1) leagues are stupid. if you are attracted to someone, go for it. shouldn't matter if they're "out of your league"
    2) self confidence is good! its great actually. as long as it doesn't become arrogance (you don't sound arrogant though).

    It definitely wouldn't be better if you thought lowly of your yourself. When I look at a guy I like seeing his confidence

    0|1
    0|0
    • I agree with everything you wrote. I think a lot of guys have much more of a chance with girls than they ever realize. I didn't become successful with girls until I started believing that I had a chance even with very sought-after girls. Building myself up physically in the gym has actually been more important to how I feel about myself than how I look.

  • there are no such things as leagues therefore no one should feel limited in any way

    2|1
    0|0
  • I think that attitude can pretty much get you any girl. Just stay who you are and don't act self absorbed.

    0|1
    0|0
  • thats not a bad thing at all. its a good thing. that means you won't feel intimadated by a girl. which is super unattractive.

    0|0
    0|0
  • There's nothing wrong with confidence, but just make sure that you are able to take rejection when it happens because it happens to everyone. By that I mean when a girl isn't interested, don't keep trying because you can't accept that a girl couldn't be interested.

    P. S. that is not meant to be read in a bitchy tone I promise

    0|0
    0|0
    • No, I don't do that. Part of having high self-esteem and know your self-worth is not chasing after others who don't see it. If a girl doesn't see my value, I don't worry over her. Everyone has preferences, and I'm not everyone's cup of tea. No one is. I usually look for at least some small signs of interest before I make a strong play for a girl.

  • I think it's excellent that you have that confidence. It's a rare and wonderful thing.
    It's tricky though, because for example your friends reaction isn't necessarily about how you see yourself but how you view women. When you say that you feel you could be in any girls league, it suggests that you have very high standards (in terms of appearance) of the women you date. That's just kind of how it can come off. I'm sure you're a great guy, who isn't just superficial. I think it's all about how you word it, you need to be considerate that a lot of women are insecure about their looks, and when you suggest that you could get any woman, i. e. attractive women it may make them feel like they aren't filling out the requirements of being a woman and being looked at as one... I know it's messed up, but that's kind of how it is for girls. This constant comparison making you feel like you're not feminine or good enough..

    1|1
    0|0
    • That's a good point, and something I didn't think about. I would never put her or any other girl down for their look intentionally. I went through a period where I was overweight and not very attractive, so I know what it's like to feel like you don't measure up. I had zero confidence then and didn't feel like I had what it took. And yes, there were times when I heard girls gush over guys with abs, or defined pecs, or thick arms and it made me feel low, like I would never have a girlfriend because I didn't have those features then. So I think that's a very good point.

      I love girls, and the last thing I want to do is make them feel badly about themselves.

  • No. I don't believe in leagues period.. Do your thing man.

    0|1
    0|0
  • It's not bad to think that but I think it's just more attractive to leave it for people to realise themselves than for you to tell them how great you are. Confidence is great to have and you should always go in with it but it's kind of hard to get on with someone who makes it seem like you should be privellaged to be in their company. And besides, you might not be their type regardless so it's wrong to think any girl would want you.
    So be confident but don't shove it down people's throats

    0|0
    0|0
  • It comes of as being very arrogant and cocky of you to say that, which is a huge turn over. Girls like confidence, but not arrogance or cockiness. It's probably the biggest turnoff for me personality wise.

    0|0
    0|1
  • Everything you just said is attractive, at least for me, i feel the same way you do.
    And there´s no problem with owning it like you do.
    Just be careful though. you might be able to get any girl you want- which is great- just don´t brag about it to girls, she may have felt intimidated.
    But seriously the way you feel about yourself is freaking attractive.

    0|1
    0|0
    • I really don't feel like every girl will want me, I just feel like I have a shot with any girl. So many guys lack the balls to even try, which I think is sad. Girls respond to strong self-belief like moths to a flame.

  • Too many people have low self- esteem and no confidence in themselves , so i don't think it is wrong for you have have self- worth! You don't come across as arrogant , so stay as you are. You have a belief in yourself and you shouldn't allow anyone to try to lower you serlf - esteem or confidence 😊

    0|1
    0|0
  • Too much confidence is a bit scary to some girls its great you've had a turn around of confidence but you probably should not try so hard try and be yourself the one who didn't have so much confidence but secretly know you you've got what it takes a great sense of humour never hurt either !

    0|1
    0|0
  • Being humble is a virtue, you know?

    0|0
    0|0
    • Humility and self-worth aren't mutually exclusive properties. Should I feel bad about myself just to make you feel better? Is that fair to me?

  • no.. i dont see the problem.. i think maybe you're a bit paranoid when it comes to your friend

    0|0
    0|0
    • Well, it's like she was either telling me that I was a loser for thinking like that or that I'm not as attractive as I think I am. I consider her a friend, so it caught me off guard. Part of me feels like she's jealous because she lacks that kind of confidence in herself. She never dates, and that's largely why.

Loading...