Do you lose respect in someone for not having a relationship with anyone in their immediate family?

Have you ever been interested in a guy (or gal) who says they have not talked to their mother in a few years because they "don't get along", father simply wasn't around growing up (ok fine), goes several months without talking to younger adult siblings, and hasn't heard or seen pre-teen daughter in a year because "the baby's mother keeps her away"? I ask because I found myself in that situation and I don't respect him for it. Especially because he's looking for a new place and his youngest sister asked him to stay with her 'til he gets his new place (she really missed him), so I said "Oh, that's great! You both can get close again:)" and he quickly dismisses it with a " Yea, whatever. Anyway." "What?"

I'm calling this shit quits because now he's treating me like a fucking piece of shit. So, what are your thoughts on people who don't get along with family? Does it influence how you view them? I refuse to believe that in any situation in life, it's always everyone else that has something wrong with them. It's a cop out, in my opinion.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Only if they act that way for petty reasons. Now if their relatives fucked them over or were just really shitty towards them, I would actually respect them more for avoiding them.

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    • His mom wasn't great to him growing up as she was 15 when she had him and blamed him for her not having a life. Thing is, he's 32 now, so...

    • If my mom constantly blamed me for ruining her life, even though SHE chose to sleep around at 15, I wouldn't want anything to do with her either.

      I don't blame him for not wanting to speak to his mom, but I can't say the same about him and his baby sister.

Most Helpful Girl

  • I don't have a good relationship with either of my parents. My dad left when I was little, while my mom was emotionally unavailable and disowned me when I was 19. I wouldn't want my date to meet either of them, honestly... I don't enjoy their company, and he knows that. I don't see my brothers and sister much either, or other family members for that matter. We all sort of do our own thing. The guy I'm dating now doesn't get along with his mother and isn't close with his family either.

    If anything, we bonded more because of our family situation. Doesn't mean that we "don't get along" with them, but every family has their own issues.

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What Guys Said 2

  • I wouldn't lose respect for someone because I know I have trouble in my family at times. Plus I didn't develop deep connections with Aunts, Uncles and Cousins that were close distance to us.

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  • nah. i prefer that. then i don't have to meet any of their family members :)

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What Girls Said 2

  • It most definitely depends upon the situation. I don't mind someone who doesn't want to be around their siblings or parents because I don't want to be around mine so I understand. Not being around your own child I see as a huge red flag though. I don't want to be around someone who doesn't think he needs to take responsibility for the life he brought into the world.

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    • I've given him the benefit of the doubt 100% but at this point, it sounds like a bunch of excuses. The thing with his daughter does not add up and never did.

    • If it sounds like a bunch of excuses, then it probably is.
      I look at it this way: what would he do if he accidentally knocked you up, be there and take care of the child or come up with a bunch of excuses? I've always chose getting rid of him before history could repeat itself.

  • Not necessarily. It depends on the history with their family. If the family was abusive in some way or unreasonable then that’s understandable. However, if the interestee is just being stubborn, frustrated, and acting on emotion rather than logic then I’ll quietly think it’s silly/slightly immature. Yet, I won’t actually say that to them unless things get really serious between us and we’re planning a wedding or something lol Things like that have to fix themselves in their own time naturally.

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