Why do some guys try to make dates the day of rather than planning them a few days in advanced?

This annoys the hell out of me. This one guy and I have been trying to do a 2nd date but he usually asks me the day of or the day before when I already have plans and I keep telling him make plans with me a few days in advanced and don't fucking do it last minute because I'm usually already busy. Last time he planned a few days in advanced, he has something at work to be at so he canceled. He claims he's interested but whatever.
Why do guys think asking you to go out that night is ok?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Today's generation is completely distracted. I have told my friends repeatedly to let me know in advance if they want to do something and it never seems to register with them. Then they ask me the day of, and guess what? I can't because I am working, and I cannot simply take a day off since where I work is not fully staffed. It's likely part of the daily stimuli such as the internet, advertising/products, new technology (I swear people spend way too much time on their phone), the media and other things that consist of distractions that contribute to forcing people to refusing to use a calendar.

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    • It actually really pisses me off when my friends do that.

    • Yes, your totally right. Come to think of it, some of my friends do this all the time! One friend in particular, I'm like I'd love to got to that show with you but unfortunately since you asked me the morning of, I have to work. It annoys me cuz I know this isn't there intend, but it send off the message that they don't really care that you have a schedule and other obligations and you can just drop everything and be free for them and their plans. As much as I would love for that to be the case, in the real world there is work and responsibilities.

Most Helpful Girl

  • I dated a guy like that once and it was because he was a young lawyer trying to establish his career, so his work was very demanding and he never knew day to day when he was going to be able to get away. So most of the time when we did plan ahead, he'd end up having to cancel or he'd be super late. It was just easier for him to text me when he knew he'd be getting out at a reasonable time and see if I could hang out that night.

    I ended up deciding after a few weeks that it wasn't working for me because I needed more from a guy than he was able to offer at the time, but I didn't/don't hold it against him. He was a good guy and I hope that when things slow down for him a bit, he finds a nice woman to settle down with.

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    • Then that means that you had to be available when he waz and thats not cool cuz then that = you waiting around for him all the time until he's free so that your not busy when he is. That sucks :/ glad you left him.

    • I didn't really feel that way about it. If I had plans, I had plans - I wasn't sitting around every night hoping he'd want to hang out. And he wasn't expecting me to either. The reality was, though, that he was busier than I was. I work a standard 40 hour work week, whereas his was all over the place.

    • But, like I said, I wanted more than he was able to give me at the time, so I ended it amicably. Still think he's a nice guy.

What Guys Said 2

  • Some people are planners and some are not. Some people have unpredictable lives and it's difficult to make plans. So they just shoot from the hip.

    If this bothers you now then don't date him. If he makes dates at the lats minute there's a LOT he does at the last minute, and this is going to drive you crazy. It's a big deal.

    Move on and find someone else.

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  • They're being spontaneous and romantic...

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    • "Hey, are you doing anything tonight?" Is not spontaneous or romantic to me, to me it equals "I'm too lazy to plan a real date and I have nothing better to do tonight"

    • Ok, sorry... just tried to give another perspective. Sounds like he's just young...

What Girls Said 1

  • Yeah, that's not okay. If you were a priority, he would value your time and give you notice at least a couple days head.

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