What does it mean to buy someone's love and why is it so bad?

[Anonymous]

Just want to hear a bit more about this one. I'm a little worried it's happening to me right now. This guy I am seeing has a lot of money... so he keeps paying. Someone at work said he might be trying to buy my love. He's really sweet to me though, so I don't know? I offer to pay and he lets me sometimes.

[LightsOff]

Well obviously it's bad to buy someone's love because that's not really true love. If he has the money for it and likes paying for your stuff, don't feel bad. And don't assume that he's just trying to buy you or your love. You should only be worried if he starts acting possessive, all like "hey!! I bought you THIS and THAT! Now you have to do this for me/act this way for me" etc. Like if he starts using the fact that he spends money on you against you, as if you owe him something for it. And you said that he lets you pay sometimes which is also a pretty good indicator of the fact that he's not trying to do anything other than be courteous.

If it really bothers you that much, just sit down with him and tell him that it makes you feel bad that he almost always pays for everything, and that you'd like it if he let you pay for stuff a bit more too.

[Asker]

Very very good points. Nope he has never used the fact that he pays as any reason to get anything from me. I've just never been in a relationship with someone like this. He really cares about money and making money, but he is really good to me.

[Cmasterson]

Different situation, My mum use to do this, every time she would scold me or punish me I would cry my eyes out even when she would be mean to me for no reason, so I guess it weighs on her conscience or use to and she'd always buy me things.. Materialistic things when In the end just to hang out would have been good enough.

[Theguyoverthere]

Basically there are girls who seek out guys with lots of money and these guys feel that "girls just want money." While there are an insanely large amount of girls who do, not all are like this.

If you're not interested in his money what will happen is that you'll feel uncomfortable with the amount of money he is spending on you if he is truly going this route. If he's just paying for the dates and that's it I'd only worry about it if they were top of the line restaurants all the time and such. Usually guys heavily set of "buying" the girl will buy her lots of expensive things and possibly even just flat out give her money. It's a two way toxic relationship I feel when it does occur and both are truly in it for these reasons.

[Asker]

hm, we haven't been to super expensive places, but he does pay often. I think he genuinely likes me though. How would I know? He does say he could always buy me anything, but that doesn't mean I'll take advantage of it.

[Theguyoverthere]

Him offering is your hint.

[Asker]

is a hint that he thinks he can buy my love?

[Theguyoverthere]

It is possible.

[Asker]

I just find him so confusing. He says he's not a good person and then he goes and does really nice stuff for me.

[diarrhea]

I'm responding to something else you said, but if he says he's not a good person you should believe him

[Asker]

who actually believes they aren't good though?

[diarrhea]

I believe it. No truly good person tells his date he's not a good person. That's guilt, not modesty. And to make things worse, he's just using it as a sketchy way to seem honest and unappreciative of himself to garner your sympathy and reel you in. ''Aw you're not a bad person you're so nice to me''. It's manipulative. If he really cared that he wasn't a good person, he wouldn't be involving himself with you or anyone; but a bad person wouldn't care that he's not a good person in exactly the way that he doesn't. So there you go.

[Asker]

wow. yikes, that was probably pretty dead on.