Is it possible to get rejected because you are way above "his league"?

I have a big crush on a guy from work. He is quite nerdy, a bit shy, not very social and even though friendly, according to his male colleagues he told them he cannot get girls to notice him and he is single for 3 years or more.
But the fact is I find him super handsome and I love every aspect of him and his personality.

After many frustrating months at not making him aware of my interest I confessed to him in a very bad way (via text) because I never had the courage to say it in his face nor could even pull the conversation in a way to do so (I'm a coward I know).

I got text reply saying he feels flattered but he is not in a dating place right now and he does not agree with dating co workers. He stills works with me and acts as nothing ever happened in a friendly and casual way but we never talked face to face about it.

This made me feel quite unattractive and unwanted but the funny part is: Everyone is happy I got rejected because they think I am way over his league, even before confessing everyone who works with us and know us both quite well said he would never reject me for that same reason, and that we would be a perfect match.

They all got shocked he said no, but say he refused me because he was afraid of dating someone above him in looks and out of fear of rejection said NO. I do not consider him under or above my league in looks but I think I am bad at judging this because I am a Latin woman and he is a English person (different cultures and almost opposite looks). I am very confused and I admit I feel a very big difference into the dating cultures of my country vs. the British.

Basically what I want to know is if it is possible to get rejected by someone because they may be afraid of you thinking you are too much for them, or think they do not deserve you? Sorry for the long text, but I did not know how to explain it properly. Cheers


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What Guys Said 1

  • Guys feel a lot more feelings and think a lot more than what they give off. Most certainty he's thought about you and this became more so true when you asked him out. But guys tend to be more logical. "What if we date and break up? Then I have to see her at work." It could be as simple as this. Or it could be that he is intimidated by you. I put off a girl who was way better looking than I deserved because I didn't feel comfortable being around her. Beauty can be a curse. Just because you're beautiful doesn't mean they want to be with you. Bizarre idea that most guys don't want to admit cause 'we always want the hot girl', but not always true. So my suggestion to you is to try to talk to him, face to face, and not only treat him like a person, but build him into the idea that he is worth your time. Sometimes we need the girl to help us see our potential. Make him feel comfortable around you so when you ask him to just get drinks, he won't make such a big deal about it. Honestly, I applaud your courage to ask him out. But remember, that can be intimidating for some guys. Just level with him and you have a better shot. Best of luck

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What Girls Said 1

  • yes its possible.

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