Does religion really matter when dating?

If two people are of a different religion does it really matter? I'm an atheist and have no problem with a woman of any religion (except vegans, they're annoying).

  • Yes, I'm super religious and my partner has to match 100%
    36% (34)26% (21)31% (55)Vote
  • No I don't care what religion my partner is.
    64% (61)74% (59)69% (120)Vote
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Most Helpful Girl

  • No it doesn't matter to me as long as it doesn't get in the way of our relationship

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    • Thanks for the MHO :)

What Girls Said 38

  • As a person who has no religion herself, it doesn't matter to me.
    I would easily date someone who was Christian , Catholic or whatever else.

    I think the key to this is, being able to respect and not judge other people for their beliefs.
    If someone can see that a "religion" itself doesn't define you as a person , then they could careless about it.
    I believe in basic morals and values as a human-being.
    There are plenty of religious people that are great at repeating a passage, and going to church every Sunday (some of them tend to be the biggest sinners but are great at acting as if they are living their life the right way).
    I find that people that are overly-religious tend to be in extreme judgment towards someone that isn't or has a different faith.
    Those are the people I would steer clear of.
    They tend to think their way, is the only way.
    Every thing that comes out of their mouth is a passage from the bible.
    No offense, but I want someone that can think on their own instead of having to refer back to a page.

    If someone believes so strongly in their religion and condemns others I wouldn't want to be with that person.
    But if someone has a religion and is open to every one having different views, then It wouldn't matter much to that person.

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    • Completely agree. MHO i think

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    • @sjoes006 Go cry about it and maybe write a book. Someone that cares enough will read it.
      When your pool of tears are dried you're okay to refer to the link I submitted.
      -Goodbye-
      You can continue on with this by yourself.

    • Why are you requesting to follow me? I'm not understanding your logic at all.

  • It depends on the individual person. Personally, I would not want to date someone who did not share my religious beliefs/values. I think that it would just be too difficult, especially if the relationship were to progress to the point of marriage and having children. Religions come with a lot of traditions, celebrations, holidays, customs, etc. I would also want to share those things with my partner. I would also want to take my children to church with me and if my partner was not a Christian, he probably would have an issue with that. When I enter into a relationship, I think long-term.

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    • Well put, xHoneyxBeex. I might differ with you in one area.

      "I would also want to take my children to church with me and if my partner was not a Christian, he probably would have an issue with that."

      Probably by definition means more than 50%, yet less than 50% of the atheists I know (and I know many) would have any problem with their son or daughter going to church and some have said they would accompany their child to religious services. I grant you this is only from my experience, so it's far from a proper study or poll. However, what you said just doesn't comport with my experience.

      On the other hand, virtually 100% of all practicing Christians I know would have a problem with their son/daughter NOT going to church. This is understandable and I don't have any problem with this, but it seems as though you are portraying atheists objecting to their sons and daughters attending religious services, when in fact virtually every committed and practicing religious person...

    • ... would have a problem with his/her child NOT attending their religious services.

      I'm not saying religious parents are wrong for doing this, and indeed it is very understandable. I just want to make sure everyone understands the other side of the coin. Atheists aren't the only one's who are inflexible about their child's upbringing.

    • @Bluemax I am not talking about atheists specifically but rather non-Christians. There is a difference. And I made that statement because I am a Christian myself so of course I am speaking from my own perspective. And I have seen very many atheists on this site mention that they would have a big issue if their religious partner wanted to take their kids to religious services. That's where I get my ideas from. I don't know many atheists in real life but I have seen many talk about this issue on here. I also never said Christians are inflexible about his issue because there was no point in me mentioning that since it's kind of irrelevant to my own opinion since I am a Christian and the question is about dating someone who does not share your religious beliefs.

  • It matters to me. I am Christian. I see no issue with being friends with someone of a different or no religion, but if I am going to date someone they need to also be Christian. It would cause too many problems for me if they weren't. There's a certain point of view/core belief system that Christians have, and I need that as a basis for a relationship. I need to know that we're both operating from the same core basic moral plain.

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  • Yes for me it had really mattered. I am a Christian and my faith is a big part of who I am. It dictates my decisions, my character, my morals and has a huge impact on my life in general. It is by far the biggest part of me and I tried dating an amazing guy but since he was an atheist I found it really hard to connect with him. I enjoy going to church and reading the bible with my significant other and he wasn't really up for that. He also didn't agree with my decision to wait until marriage and we had a lot of difficulties because of that. Overall I feel like religion is one of the most important deciding factors in a relationship and I would never date a non Christian again

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  • I agree with you on vegans, I was a crazy vegan for a year until even with my careful diet and dietitian helping me I got really sick! fast forward years later I was dating my boyfriend for a few months and he started to be vegan and started to try to force me back into it. he lasted two months until he got sick and started losing hair, his gums started splitting and bleeding... it was bad. And he was so pushy and rude about it that it almost ended our relationship. Once he stopped we haven't had a fight since and things are back to normal. It made him so angry and moody and unpleasant I was ready to leave even though I love him with all my heart he was making me miserable he didn't even care that my doctor said that at any cost I can not be vegan again!! I'm still a bit bitter abut it... and now he's back to eating more meat than me! I just eat enough to stay healthy!

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  • Except vegans. What do her dietary choices have to do with how annoying she is?

    I'm not religious, and I don't want to start a relationship with someone who is devoutly religious. I'm currently dating a guy who believes in some form of God. But I can't be with someone who is very religious because I will not raise my children to be religious. So, it's an automatic deal breaker, mostly. Mostly, because most deeply religious people raise their children to be deeply religious.

    So, your poll is void to a lot of people.
    I'm not religious, and I do care if my partner is very religious.

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    • Vegans are usually annoying because they complain when I wear leather stuff or about how much meat I eat (I'm basically a carnivore). I'm also a very scientific person and hate getting into arguments with vegans about how their diet isn't healthier than mine.
      I just don't want to be with someone I'll have to argue with at the dinner table.

    • I'm a vegetarian, who would love to go either go vegan or raise her own chickens, and all my boyfriends ate meat. So, it's not about the title, vegan or omnivore or carnivore or vegetarian, but the person. It's interesting where the line is drawn though. We're both not religious and you wouldn't date a vegan but would date a devout person. And I would date someone of any dietary choice but not someone who was devoutly religious.

  • to me, it is important. id like to be on the same page as the man i end up with.

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  • I was raised Catholic and I am somewhat religious. I believe that ther is a kind of god, but I can't be sure about it. Maybe I am a mix between Agnostic and Catholic. I go to church from time to time, but I don't have to go every weekend.
    I strongly believe in the good in people. To me, this is more important than any religion. I've met Atheists who are very militant, which is not good in itself. It shows me that they don't respect other people. Also, I've met religious people who are very militant.

    I believe that Christianity and mayn other religions are about being a good person and doing good. Whether soemoen is good is not correlated with being religous or non-religious. Both groups can be good or bad.

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  • C other I'm not super religious and won't date someone who is.

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  • It matters. Say an atheist and Christan. If the relationship works out and you plan to have kids what relgion will the kids be taught?

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    • I'm an atheist and don't want kids. Hopefully my wife won't want kids either, so there wouldn't be any problems there.

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    • That 15 year old wisdom. Gives me hope for the next generation.

    • @asker okay.

      @93stepsawayfromhome

      When I saw your comment I figured you were an old man till I saw your age. Lol but most Christan will try their best to make sure their child is Christian too but being married to an atheist they will most likey fight over which religon to teach their child.

      @igofortakenwomen I can sense your scarsm. Lol and I'm just saying that a Christian will most likey try and teach their children to be a Christian while an atheist will most likey want their child to decide on their own.

  • vegans, lol...

    I don't think so, unless you're extremely close minded and don't know to respect other people.

    My boyfriend doesn't believe in a god and I do and we've had discussions which led us both to thinking differently because we're both open minded.

    I think in the end you just have to be tolerant of others to make it work and anyone who thinks they're 100% right is just naive to me lol

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  • It does matter, I would never date a devout religious person. I'm an atheist, and even if I wasn't, it's a dealbreaker to have your partner constantly try to convert you to something you have researched thoroughly before even meeting them. It's an insult for them to take you for an idiot that has not researched religion, as if they're more knowledgeable on the matter than you.

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  • I'm an atheist too. As long as he's not a religious fanatic nor and is trying to force his belief on me, I got no problem. Respect should be mutual.

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  • Not if the dating isn't serious.

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  • It just wouldn't work. Things would be a little tough in a lot of areas. I think you should definitely stick with the same religion as you. And just have friends that have different views instead of your girl.

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  • If i'm serious about the person it definitely matters, but for most people at the end of the day it really does matter HOW religious they are and how much it makes it WHO they are.

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  • Religion shouldn't get in the way! If you love them enough you should respect their choice. I'm atheist to but if my partner was a big, say, Christian then I would respect that choice so long as they didn't share their thoughts out loud to much and just rudely. I grew up with fairly normal I guess religious parents. But I shared my athiestism and they respected it, it should be the same for the partner.

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  • I voted b, i don't really care about religion but unfortunately my parents does. But as lobg as im not marrying the guy i think they will be okay with it

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  • I'm religious and I only want to be with someone who is of the same faith. I don't see anything wrong with that.

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  • Yes, I am a christian and I would get my throat slit if I dated a Muslim

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  • Im in the process of breaking up with the man of my dreams because he won't take me home, im not of a religion that his family will ever accept. Sometimes love doesn't conquer all :/ i wish it did though!!!

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  • I like talking about the mysteries of the world and if they can't do that and be afraid to analyze religion, science.. etc than NO. But honeslty, no its doesn't matter to me

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  • I'm not sure Vegan is a religion though...

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  • As an atheist, i would prefer my significant other to be that aswell or maybe an agnostic. Its not a dealbreaker, but i would definitely prefer it.

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  • It's different for every individual, I'm religious but I wouldn't care what my partner was so long as they didn't try to force their beliefs or lack of beliefs onto me.

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  • Doesn't matter to me at all

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  • It matters a lot to me. If we don't have the same beliefs, then we won't date.

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  • i am Christian, i wouldn't care about religion as long as the other person is not atheist.

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  • its always important to know you guys have equal understanding,, he mast be in the same religion

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  • I'm a Christian and I would want my future boyfriend/husband to be a Christian too. I love the answer xHoneyxBeex gave so I'm not going to repeat all the same things.

    I would like to add, that for me (and probably lots of other Christians), it isn't a matter of respect or not. I of course respect everyone I come in contact with, my friends, significant other, etc. But someone I am dating to hopefully marry... they are my partner and become one of the most important people in my life. He and I will be a team to support and love each other. Agreeing about religion isn't the same as agreeing about politics or food choices (vegan, vegetarian, etc). I want a partner who will pray with me over our lives together, and who can encourage me in my relationship with Christ (and I can encourage him). There is just a different view of life, how to handle situations, etc that become a part of your lifestyle.

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What Guys Said 43

  • That is how c ray some vegans can get nowadays.. now it is called a religion by some. I do see why you wouldn't possibly date one from the way some vegans are out there... especially the outspoken ones.

    The main thing to check with dating anyone who may be religious is to see if they are "practicing." If they are non practicing you'll likely be fine. If they are practicing there is a huge chance they will insist you convert. Even if they are two different faiths it has a huge chance of failure because they'll each want to marry in their church and such. It can get very complicated.

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  • I think it matters. I'm an atheist and I know I cannot be with someone who is very religious, it will not work out. Religion plays such an important role for people who are very religious that when I will not participate in certain things with them (like going to church) I know it will eventually pull us apart. There have been a couple of girls that if they weren't very religious I would have been interested, but because they are it turns me off.

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  • By giving us only two options, you're kind of setting yourself up for a false dichotomy here.

    It doesn't matter to me very much (although I would prefer to date someone who is agnostic like me). However, to some people it matters a great deal, and I must say I don't blame them. It is, for a great many, a part of their life that they are very passionate about. They are an incredibly meaningful part of a person's life, so it is very understandable that they would want to date someone of their own religion. Furthermore, I know many Christians who believe that I will not be saved unless I myself become a Christian, and it is understandable that they would feel worried, even heartbroken for me. Obviously, I don't agree with them, but I totally understand that they would worry for me. Then there is the issue of raising children. It's understandable that a parent who is involved in a religion would want to include his/her child in that religion. And if we're to be intellectually honest, all religions (and I'm including atheism in this group even though it's not a religion) are to varying degrees mutually contradictory. Many parents don't want their children to be given mutually contradictory upbringings. I can understand this.

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  • For me, it certainly does matter. In fact its the biggest factor in a relationship. I'm a Christian, and according to my religion, anyone who doesn't accept Jesus is going to hell. And i can't stand the thought of me and my SO being seperated by realms after death.

    But also because I have yet to meet an atheist that doesn't look down on me because of my beliefs. I can't be with someone who has no respect for my beliefs and deems me incomptetent and ignorant because of them.

    But hey, that's just me.

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  • I voted A, although I'm an Atheist. Neither answer accurately describes how I feel, but A is closer.

    I admire skepticism in a potential partner. I can't imagine myself with a theist, especially not if it's going to lead to moral or life choice disagreements.
    Moral and political positions are a huge part of a relationship, one that is often overlooked, I feel. Moreso if you're looked for a committal partner, anyways.

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  • I voted A) as per "Yes, I'm super religious and my partner has to match 100%"

    But technically I just want my partner to not be religious.
    I'm not religious either.
    I'd rather avoid being controlled by these church organizations, and have my life be dictated by ancient codified culture...

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  • I wouldn't care really, where i live people "inherited" catholicism from their parents but only a few people in their 20s really care about it or are taking it seriously. I wouldn't mind if my SO had strong religious belief but I really think someone, who was devoted to a religion wouldn't fit with me anyway. It's not just about religion, it's about the mindset that comes with it, like being very conservative. At least that's what i strongly connect to catholicism, but actually if my girlfriend had another religion and would show me their traditions and is maybe not dead serious about it, then I would actually find it kind of cool to experience new stuff.

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  • I'm Christian, non denominational, and as long as they were some form of a Christian (that wasn't a cult) or if they were an atheist or agnostic but respected my religion, I think it'd be fine. And honestly it's not hard to find girls, or anyone for that matter, who say they're Christian/Catholic.

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  • I'd date girls of any religion.
    I'd only marry a non religious or religious in name only girl.

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  • Yes it does matter to me, in fact, religion is the biggest factor, when I think of "relationship" I don't think of a girl that I'm gonna spend a couple of months with, I actually think of my wife who I will spend the rest of my love with so I prefer her to share the same religious beliefs as mine so we can both share the love of our religion and bring our children up according to those religions beliefs and values.

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  • Well I'm atheist myself and a problem I'd have with a religious SO is that if by any chance in the future we were to marry, I wouldn't want my children to have religious influences.

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    • You wouldn't give your children the option to be free thinkers and make a choice without your consent?

    • That's exactly what I would want them to do when they're old enough but how will they be able to if they're going to be indoctrinated by religion at the very start?

  • For me no, and I'm an agnostic. I mean it depends on how the person is about it. If they're super religious and shove their beliefs down to me and do nothing but religious stuff then it probably wouldn't work out.

    If I date a girl who just simply believes in god and respects that I don't know the answer then I don't see a problem.

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  • Religion is a deal breaker for me. Will not dare raise my children in a religious home.

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  • C. I'm atheist and but won't date a religious person.

    I wouldn't ask them to change their beliefs for me, because that would be wrong, nor would I change my beliefs for them.

    I had problems with this, when I dated a Catholic girl, who told me I would have to convert, we will be married in a catholic church, and our children WILL be raised catholic. For me, that was three strikes.

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  • I'm a Mormon, and have nothing against you for being an atheist, but I couldn't date a girl who doesn't believe in God. If I have a family, I'd want my kids raised by BOTH parents to believe that they have a higher being they can turn to in times of trouble instead of having only what's on the earth. Just my opinion.

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  • I don't think it is possible to build a long term relationship with someone that has totally different views at life as you. Especially later on int the relationship/marriage it's pretty common that the tolerance for the other's religious practices decreases, and I've often heard about stuff like "you go to church, but don't dare take the children with you".

    I highly recommend everyone to take this into account, when you date.

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  • I'm not religious and I wouldn't date a religious woman.

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  • It may not while dating, but it certainly matters when you start to share a house/apartment. Heck if you think about having kids, don't even try.

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  • Well, if they're monks who live a life of abstinence it's a bit awkward.

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  • no not at all, but if thats the way you think you deserve what is coming

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  • I am an atheist and it doesn't matter as long as it doesn't get in the way. I don't want to do anything religious, I want to be understood in that.

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  • I don't care, but if she is super religious and keeps trying to convert me it would never work

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  • No I couldn't because I think long term, and if we got married I want my kids to have my same beliefs and go to church and do our customs, but if she wasn't she wouldn't want to deal with it and I couldn't have that to be honest

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  • I won't date a religious girl.

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  • Some people it does.

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  • Of course my partner has to have a similar religion to me. That's a no-brainer.

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  • As long as she can handle that I just don't care about organized religeon...

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  • vegans are a religfion? ok.

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  • For me it is important. How great would it be to be able to pray together!

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  • I don't care unless she's religious.

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