Girls, do I have to many problems to date?

im kinda shy , nervous , can't do anything on my own, never know what to do or say, no confidence, no real work ethic, im depressed and anxios. i haven't had a job for 5 months.. i was having a tough time, the job made me very stressed and anxious, and i had some outside stress as well, so i waited till i was more relaxed... it took a long time but the time made me more depressed and anxious. i have no real social life, have a few good freinds, have crushes on 2 of em, but thats dead in the water. and i live at home in a place i can't even have friends over if i wanted to, my family is so mean controling, manipulative and or judgmental. im also inexperienced in everyway posible. and im kinda broke.

so there's this girl i met a year ago then once again on Halloween... she's my fb friend and id llike to get to kno her... but I don't know i feel like i shouldn't bother like its a bad time in my life... which it probably is.. but it never seems to be the right time... after a while u get bored and lonely.

if you answer a poll please comment to, i really need opinions.

  • yes
    53% (9)
  • no
    47% (8)
And you are? I'm a GirlGuys can not vote on this poll

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Most Helpful Girl

  • You sound like a really kind person. If you like this girl, go ahead and message her. It can't hurt and it would be nice to have someone you like to talk to. Hope you feel better 😊

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    • thank you, how can you tell if I'm kind?

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    • You're welcome 😊 I hope things work out for you.

    • Thank you for the MH😊 did you message her?

What Girls Said 11

  • You seem to have issues that aren't suitable for a relationship. You aren't functioning right. It's not that girls won't want to date you, it's just what happens when the anxiety kicks in over wondering whether or not she's cheating? What about when the girl expects you to go up and pay for dinner and you forgot your money. Chicks can be cruel, for your own benefit, you could try getting to the source of your anxiety. Like seeing a doc to identify triggers or get some xanax. But you could still date, it's just with extreme anxiety, it could mess you up worse. You should take care of yourself first

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    • I've been trying for years... drugs aren't strong enough, I'm just getting to old to have no experience... and I'm tired of being alone sometimes. I'm not sure what to do, but thank you , you are right

  • Okay... Ummmm I know I'm kinda too young to answer this question but I think that you need to chill a bit. I think that it's kinda cute for a guy to be shy and nervous sometimes and in some ways I'm sort of like you. If this girl really likes you then she will be there for you when you're in need. Just don't be too needy. As for your job and your money issues I wish you the best because I don't know how to deal with that 😅. Plus I think that you should be worried about your life more than this girl. I was always taught that. Get to know her a little more but don't have your whole life revolve around this person. But to answer your question, you don't have too many problems, I guess it just depends on how much your 'crush' can handle, because if she's very sensitive and has many problems in her life then it might be kinda hard to handle... Hope this helped. It probably didn't but I still hope it helped😊

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  • Don't worry, you'll find someone. I love shy guys. Just try to fix your situation and you'll have more time for dating.

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  • Keep in touch with your friend over facebook. Also, give all of what's happening some time and it'll all fall into place. I've felt the same kind of things that you're feeling right now and I"m only in High School.
    It'll all be worth it in the end. You can message me if you need someone to talk to.

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    • thank you, one day i might take u up on that

  • I think you should work on your anxiety, also it wouldn't hurt to get to know that girl.

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  • For me if you were more open and had a job, you'd sound more attractive

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  • How old are u?

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    • im 25

    • Im girl and shy and even younger then you but i made the first move and we'r together now , go for it be confident no matter what , i think u should be more open in social life like getting to know more girls as friends just be cool hang out , be yourself

    • ty i will, lol over the past 6 years most of my friends ( a few close) have been women

  • Maybe read as much as you can on the things that make you anxious --it sounds like you have a dysfunctional family... there are many youtube videos about anxiety, families, etc. Work on deciding what you would like to do with your life - like going to school and select a career - maybe it is time to get a job and find a roommate and move out away from your family if they are a further source of anxiety and pain for you--esp if they are mean and controlling and manipulative as you say; take up some hobbies and get good at them then share those likes with someone with similar interests. I find that physical activity releases a lot of stress for me. Above all, do not give up; maybe this girl could be your friend first; and be honest. Many of us have come from dysfunctional homes, trust me I know; and there is no shame in that; just work on getting yourself into a better place.

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    • I've been to school I'm a graphic designer with a business minor, I'm not very good, my portfolio site rarely gets visits. and has the friends first thing ever worked for you? i tried it twice... didn't go well, still friends but..

    • You have already have a degree or not that is astounding; focus on positives in yourself and get yourself around positive people. There are no guarantees and of course I am much older place in my life.. but sure friends first has been good for me as I can screen folks out before I get too involved. If I had done that, I would not have ended up in some undesirable relationships later that are much harder to get out of. You probably have plenty going for you and staying or surrounding yourself with positive people and things (those people that build you up not pull you down which it sounds like your family does) would be a good move! Remember you have many more years ahead than me! your whole life is in front of you!!

  • You really need to get your life together before you consider a relationship- I mean the financial aspect and having a job. It's okay to be depressed and have anxiety. I get those issues to, but it's important not to let them control you, which is what it sounds like. I really recommend taking vitamins if you don't eat healthy or don't ever eat vegetables and fruits. For me, taking vitamin D makes depression episodes go away. I'm not kidding. I think mine is related to a vitamin deficiency. I would try doing that to help yourself out. And anxiety- I take it one day at a time, pray, and remind myself that it's temporary, I'm not dying, and everything will be okay.

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  • You have some quirks but that is okay somewhat. Maybe you should consider doing an activity to become more outgoing. Go jogging do an activity. Exercising is great for the brain. I think you should spread your wings a bit before you talk to her so you won't be shy. If you can't find a job than try volunteering so you have something to do. Go to the library and read a book. Look at the stars. Don't stay at your house all day. Go up to random people and say hi. Try new things.

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  • Your shyness is your biggest problem.

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    • what should i do... kind of out of ideas

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