Black and tamil love. He's parents hate me because I'm black?

I am dating such a wonderfull man. He loves me so much and I love him. We've been going out for a year but in secret because he's parents are so racist against me due to my race. They told him if he doesn't break up with me they will go back to sri Lanka. He's father assumes my family has a low income, I'm ghetto, I'm easy going, and etc with black sterotypes. But he is extreme wrong I go to uni, work, have a A average, speak 3 languages, an investor and my parents are going to retire in 7 years since their retirement is 3.5 million. I live in a nice house, my parents are very strict and want only A+'s. They think B's mean your failing. Back to the point. I'm scared. He and I want to just move away together and not tell anyone about our future and us. Any advice?

  • You believe in love?
    85% (11)83% (5)84% (16)Vote
  • Nah?
    15% (2)17% (1)16% (3)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Girl you tell his dad to fuck off. Lol just joking but have you tried showing him that you're not what he thinks you are? Maybe showing him your grades and tell him maybe where you live if it's a nice neighborhood and be well dressed. But if he's a racist as you say he is. It's kinda hard to change racists... And it's just an empty threat believe me. My mom did the same when I dated my girlfriend but then I showed her how great of a person my girlfriend is and now she loves her sometimes more than me! Try getting your boyfriend to show his dad that you're not what he thinks you are.

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    • I want to, but he doesn't want me to meet he's parents yet because when we tried he's dad threaten to move back to sri Lanka if my boyfriend doesn't break up with me.

    • He won't move. That is such a risky transition that the dad would not risk over a girl.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Hey, I'm tamil so I hope my advice will be useful :)
    Firstly, on behalf of my race I am really sorry about all the racism it holds against black people. Tamil culture are really the 'stick to our own kind' type but nowadays our generation has many open minded people, but unfortunately this isn't the case for you.

    I would strongly advice you to keep dating as I know people whose parents have accepted their relationship over time. Bear in mind this won't happen overnight, your boyfriend should calmly talk to his parents and be mature about this. Hopefully, after you have been dating for longer, they would realise that you guys are serious and in love. I would also recommend meeting his parents and them meeting your family as my mother used to have stereotypes about black people, but after working with them and befriending some she has become far more tolerant and accepting.

    Assuming your age on this is correct, you guys are adults? This means you have the right to make your own decisions and they can not stop your boyfriend from dating you. However, I would not recommend moving in with your boyfriend anytime soon or something like that as tamil parents frown upon that as they believe in sex after marriage. Although, this is entirely up to you two, I'm just giving a heads up.

    I think right now you should stick to your family values and continue your education, you seem like a very smart girl so prove his parents wrong! But please, please don't make this situation into your boyfriend straying away from his family because I have seen this happen. Involve them and trust me, if they really love him, they will eventually be okay with it.
    Good luck, reply if you need any other advice :)

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    • Thank you so much. I will prove them wrong. He tried to introduce me to he's parents and they said Ohh she's probably a good digger (meaning me), Ohh she could be a single mom and etc. Basically, they looked at sterotypes.

    • I found a Sri Lankan! ¤____¤

    • @yuki_ibanez
      yaaaay and we're the same age :D

What Guys Said 4

  • Always believe in love and true loves don't care race, nationality, country and skin color... These are trivial and small things. If you love somebody hearty and internally, there's no matter what color she or he is. Love is important than everything <3

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  • Yolo. Am i right?

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  • Seriously it doesn't matter who they think you are. Love is love

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  • I'm black and I think I'm starting to fall in love with a girl I met from there. They really think that way?

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    • It'll be hard because tamil men can date out but tamil girls don't get to pick whoever so be careful.

What Girls Said 3

  • He will end up breaking up with you out of familial pressure and marrying a Tamil girl. If he isn't man enough to stand up for you against his family and proclaim THIS IS MY WOMAN, DEAL WITH IT, then it won't last. He is young and just having fun. he may like you and maybe have puppy love for you but mark my words you will not be his wife. probably has a girl already waiting on him in Sri Lanka that his parents have set up for him to marry.

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  • If your parents are okay with you dating, you should ask them for help with this. I'm in a similar situation except I'm the party that's now allowed to date. I'm in college right now too, and the way I have it planned is to move out when I have a stable job after college. Depending on where you live, there are laws that will allow you both to do what you want (long as it's legal) as long as you are of legal age. Just hang in there and you should be alright.

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    • My parents don't really like him because he's tamil before but their coming around. I told them I'm serious with him and basically were in a year.

  • You can make it through!

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