Guys, how should I play it?

So I wake up, and I open my phone, and it's in my text messages, and it's under my friend Josh name. The only issue is I haven't spoken to him in two weeks, and I didn't receive a notification for something, and the only time that happens is if the phone is already open. I asked my boyfriend when I woke up if he went through my phone, but my phone was clearly not where I left it, and all that. Disclaimer we had an issue earlier in our relationship where I would go through his phone and he didn't like it, so I stopped, but now he's doing it? I need some advice.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Trust is the most important thing in a relationship. Once it is gone, it is so hard to bring it back. So the question is, do you still trust him? I ask because you did the same thing to break his trust and this may be his way of balancing it (subconsciously). I suggest you talk about it and see if he's feeling insecure with you texting this Josh or any guys. And talk about how you both can work on your trust issues, since working things out is the best way of pushing though the hardships.

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    • Yes I still trust him, I hadn't been through his stuff in 2 years, and don't plan on it. He texts girls that are friends, and hangs out with them at times in a group, and I think nothing of it. He did go through a few bad relationships prior to me so at times I feel as if I'm paying for whatever the other females did. I just didn't see the point in lying and saying you didn't. Was it cause he felt bad afterwards? Was it cause he didn't see anything worth mentioning?

    • Difficult to say. It could be that idea of getting your hand caught in the cookie jar. Mom knows better but we still lie. I'm leaning on the 'felt bad afterwards'. He doesn't want to hurt you, but it could be in his nature to be a little suspicious, especially from past relationship. Lying isn't good, but don't come down so hard on him if you felt it wasn't that big of a deal. Still, communicate your feelings is really important

What Guys Said 3

  • People tend to project their own insecurities onto their partner. If he is worried that you are texting or hanging out with other guys, it's because he is as well. I can't comment on his actions, but the more suspicious he is of you the more likely he is the one doing something wrong and not you.

    Communication is key, if he was secure in the relationship he wouldn't be doing it. Don't make any accusations, just point out the objective facts and ask him whats up.

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  • One instance isn't enough it needs to happen a lot.

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  • The two of you need to sit down and have a talk about trust etc. and stop spying on each other

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