Should I date this older guy is it just wrong?

I'm 18 in a week, he's 27, so its a 9 year difference. I've known him a nearly a month now, and we've gotten pretty close. I met him at a friends party and the connection was pretty clear. At first the texts were friendly, but now they've become way more flirty (I initiated most of it) and he's promised to become more... active... with me once I turn 18. Besides the flirty texts, we actually do have pretty good conversations when we hang out with each other. We're completely different; I'm starting college in a few months and I have a shitty job at a fast food restaurant, he has a good job, he's graduated university, has his own place and money. And honestly, I actually like that he's not my age because guys between the ages of 17-20 (the ones I've dated) have been extremely predictable and I like this guy's maturity. So should I go for it or am I just being too naive? I feel like a lot of people would be grossed out by the difference but I am sexually attracted to him and I like being around him.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • It sounds like you like his maturity and personality. That's great. Sorry guys but I think there's a good chance many guys your age will probably think it's weird because they don't like the idea of girls in their likely datable age range seeing an older guy. It can be a subconscious threat. Many girls your age will likely think it's weird (imo) because they're use to being around people within a year or two all through school. The idea of a 27 year old can seem very old. I think once people get away from being mainly surrounded by their peers in school that mentality usually chances. A guy that's 27 will likely have a more refined mentality than an 18 year old if that's important to you. Of course I would wait a week if you live in a state where that's illegal and not in a country where 16 is legal like Canada.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • At first you might get some funny looks, people will judge your relationship, talk behind your back, start rumors, and so many more cruel things. It sucks, but that's the way it is. I have known couples with 10-15 year age gaps, and they have insured all of those things. As for being more active,(I'm assuming you're still in high school), I wouldn't recommend it. It's common knowledge that girls are MEAN. If someone finds out, especially someone who doesn't like you, finds out you're sleepin with a man nearly 10 years older than you, you could have to endure HORRIBLE things. Possibly even similar rumors/ name calling in cyber bully. Just make sure that you stay safe, know the ricks, and mentally prepare yourself for that judgement. Even though a lot of these affects seem negative, do whatever makes YOU happy. Remember those couples I mentioned earlier? Even though it was hard at first, they got through it. They are STILL together, and they are happier then the have been in a long time. Just remember that age is nothing but a number, although some people don't see it that way. Good luck! Do whatever you think is right for you!😊

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What Guys Said 12

  • Don't take decisions based on othrr people's opinion. They know nothing about your situation. Soon, it will be legal. You will be supposedly old enough to take your own decisions. That also means you will be responsible for your own mistake. If you want to do it and think it will be good for you, then go. If you have doubts that are not based on what will people say, then think about it more seriously and come up with your own answer...

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  • I think 18/27 is too much - At 18 anything beyond 21/22 would be a stretch

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  • If it works for y'all then I think it's just fine. Wait until you're 18, though.

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  • As a new 26 year old, I can definitely tell you it's OK. When I was 15-18 I used to get super pissed off when I saw like 18-20 year olds date guys 26-29. But the reality is? I was jealous, I just wasn't there myself. Forget people who criticize you about this and let yourself grow. It's natural.

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  • it is perfectly fine for you to date an older guy

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  • no, he just wants to have sex with you because you're young. no 27 yr old in their right mind would date an 18 yr old.

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  • I don't know. I think guys just "waiting" for a girl to turn 18 are creepy.

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  • Weird... but whatever floats your boat.

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  • I don't see a problem with it as long you don't think he is to old for you and have a lot in common

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  • all about connection, if you two click- why not

    i am 44 and have dated many younger women

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  • if it ok since u r over age and he is kind of mature to lead things on ur behalf

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  • Your naivety will be your downfall. Get to know your options and don't rush into this thing. The 9 year age difference is also a bit of a red flag.

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What Girls Said 8

  • He's going to use you for a young, easy, naïve piece of ass. I'd bet money that he jerks off to teen porn and you're pretty much just a face and a body to get his dick wet as opposed to the limited comfort of his hand.

    Learn the smart way, not the hard way. Make good choices.

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  • My mom and dad have a ten year difference. I don't see whats wrong with it.
    If its true love, go for it. I would go for someone my age, but hey maybe you're into older guys?

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  • I think you should do whatever makes you happy. He's only 27, not 50, it's not that big of a deal.

    My boyfriend is almost 6 years younger than I am but i've always gotten along with older men better, in the end age differences don't matter, as long as you have an open mind/ Plus it can make the relationship fun at times lol.

    Fuck what other people think, it's your life, enjoy it with someone you like.

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  • Go for it ---------

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    • Guys, if you really just wanted a "piece of ass" he would A) screw her now and B) not put so much effort into the relationship

  • No, honey just no

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  • Every time I hear this line from girls my age, "I like this guy's maturity," when they find someone older.

    Not to be rude but just no.

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  • I am 18 and I connected really well with a 29 year old guy, 10 years ahead of me has everything sorted out career, job, etc. He would have moved here and offered to live with me, etc he saw me like a woman. But the reality is, I am 10 or so years younger I have a crappy job first year uni and I don't have the dating experience he does. It was really hard but I ended it cause what could a teen offer a grown man apart from the physical aspect? I don't think I am adequate he could be getting married lol, I still have my life ahead of me!!

    all to their own though, if he makes you happy and if your maturity level is enough go for it! it's your life, all the best.

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  • It's a bit weird.

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