Guys, what am I doing wrong?

Why am I so undateable? I'm 17, 18 in December. I'm pretty quiet with new people, unless my friends are with me. I'm not really considered pretty, being tall, a bit chubby and having glasses to boot. I've watched as all my friends went on dates, became people's crushes, so on and so forth, but no guy (except people on the internet, who I don't think dating is exactly the brightest idea) has shown interest in me ever, no-one has ever asked me to date them, I mean I went to prom by myself which was pretty depressing. I'm unsure if it's just because I'm that quiet, prudish and nerdy type of girl who watches anime and plays videogames and people think I'm odd, or I'm just hella ugly; maybe it's a mix of both. Is there anything I can do to make myself more attractive to guys? I do try to make myself look as good as I can, but evidently it's not working out..


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Something to understand in life is that each of us has to sell ourselves - whether this comes into romance, college applications, job interviews, or selling products in the real world. Now, so you may not be on the cover of Playboy... That doesn't mean that you can't be the best "you" that there is. So, reach deep down inside yourself and determine who you are. That is tough at 17 and comes with time, but, still, you know what you like and what you don't like. The good news is almost certainly, there are guys out there who like the same things you do. If you can "make the mental connection" with them on those things, romance will eventually follow. So, if video games are your thing, then play video games with guys. Maybe invite a guy over to play some MMPOG or something. Again, the key is to 1) be yourself and 2) find someone who shares your interests.

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What Guys Said 9

  • when you described yourself as "I'm that quiet, prudish and nerdy type of girl who watches anime and plays video games" that would be the kind of girl I would like since Its still what I'm into now I would love to find a girl like that close to my age.

    I say this so you know there are guys out there looking for girls with those interests. Looks matter to some extent to people so if you are doing your best on that, then what you can do is try to find the people who have similar interests, get to know them, and hopefully you can find those that have a interest in you and you in them. Keep trying your best and be careful, I hope you find someone.

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  • If you're a quiet person, most people don't notice you. That's why online dating can be great in that regard because you can meet other quiet people lol. Being in shape is important, you don't have to be skinny but being healthy is a good sign to men that you respect yourself. It's hard to say why it's not going well for you in that department without having a look at what you think makes you look good.

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  • Some boys like confident girls. You need to practice that.
    Dont imitate others, follow what you feel, do the things that have meaning for you. I really appreciate girls that just show what they are, and are not a clone of something else.

    Even if you are average or ugly, there is always somenthing possible to change, make a good analysis of you, make conclusions, and see what you can do. Maybe gym may be something good for you, or a new haircut.

    Boys are stupid. Im stupid. We are first attracted by bodies... because that's the first thing we see. A lot of times we find that we really like a person by her personality but that takes time.

    Maaaaybe, you have male friends that like you and are shy?

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  • I'm a dude and guys think the same way trust me just from a guys perspective. Also be yourself 100% all the way be honest with yourself and with others ( I'm not saying spill all your secrets but be smart). On appearance though, that's a tough one, you want to be you and not follow a template fashion or something. If anything tbh just dress a little more trendy and you good. Just be more relaxed and outgoing and I know people are scared/nervous to try new things but you have to put yourself through it so just be more talkative and more chill.

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  • Do you make yourself look approachable when going out? Obviously it is impossible to tell how you act over the internet, but if you do things that make you seem unapproachable no one will come up to you.

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    • Well with me being shy and all, I'm unsure if people do find me approachable, or how to make myself appear approachable. I've been told before that I have a naturally miserable looking face, but I feel that if I walk around smiling to myself, eyebrows may be raised.

    • You are going to have to figure out a why to break away from being shy and open yourself up more.

      I doubt your face is naturally miserable, and my comment wasn't meant to be go in that direction. When you are standing inline at a store are you playing with your phone, if you walk around the mall are you walking in such a hurry that no one would try to talk to you?

      Personally I very rarely will approach anyone who is doing stuff on their phone. Even though 99% of the stuff people do on their phone is bullshit it still makes people seem unapproachable.

      I don't know where you live but if you live in a place where the weather is nice you could try going to the park and reading a book. Do you have a dog that you could walk around? There has to be something about you that guys would find interesting and you need to figure out what that is.

  • i would recommend going to gym, girls with great body always get guys attraction. Also, you could throw away the glasses with eye surgery. I would strongly recommend going to gym.

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  • Can Be Friends... My User Name samikhanzsk

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  • It's no secret that guys go for a girl with looks. But you don't sound 'hella ugly' so I don't think that's your problem. In my opinion, I hate it when girls are super shy and defensive. I think your best bet would be to go out and find a cute guy and ask him on a date. If he rejects you, so what? Plenty more options out there. Keep your head up. Also, you're not even 18 yet. Don't rush things!

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  • You tell me what is wrong with me... got rejected by two girls on the same day 😂😂😂

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