Should I confront her about using me?

Over the weekend, I went out with this woman I've been dating for close to a month now. She got plastered. I took care of her, made sure she was okay, all that. Sunday, I had plans and she wanted to go. She bailed on both of them because of the nasty hangover. Understandable. I see a photo on Facebook of her with another guy that she posted later that night. If she's trying to hide it, she's not doing a very good job. The signs for being the "used guy" are there and I don't like being in that position. I feel she's using me to get to this other guy. Should I confront her about this? If we have something real, I think she would be upfront about it. I'm trying to keep myself in check before making up my mind on what to do by posting here.

Updates:
My closest friends are starting to chime in on the events of this past weekend and think I should drop her like a bad habit. She hasn't really spoken to me yet and thinks we have plans on Wednesday. I may keep those plans and have a talk with her about all of this. I don't like being put in these kinds of positions but I also don't want to ruin something that could be great by overreacting to a situation that could be handled in a smarter way. It isn't my style.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • There's two ways you can handle this:

    -The horrible revenge way-

    Invite her out to an expensive dinner.
    Order and eat your food.
    Tell her you'll be back (act as if you are going to the bathroom)
    Then exit the restaurant leaving her with the bill never to contact her again.

    OR

    -Directly confront her-
    Talk to her about this.
    Realistically you both are dating.
    You aren't exclusive, so she isn't entitled to be with you.
    Just shake this off.
    Mention it during your next discussion and ask her, is she looking for a relationship or just to have fun?
    So you will know how to operate with her from that point on.

    I suggest you do the last thing I suggested.
    The 1st would feel fantastic, but doing things to hurt people only gives you a short lived satisfaction.

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    • I'm not the type to go out of my way to hurt someone. I've talked to my friends and they are all for me getting rid of her. I tried stopping by her place tonight after work but she wasn't home. We have plans on Wednesday but my guess is she'll blow them off too. Dinner and a movie at my place. No money involved. Sick of paying for everything when she doesn't even offer.

      I do like your first plan, because I like to get revenge but only when practical jokes are involved.

Most Helpful Guy

  • was this guy a friend of urs then? anyway if u r not official guess she'd not mind goin wid otther guys so she didn't care much about how'd u feel later... nah jsut ignore her

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    • Yeah he's a friend of mine. i met her through him. I have female friends, she has male friends. But the friend we have in common, I feel is trying to cause trouble or drive a wedge in between us or something. I think he's getting jealous. His behavior is erratic. She was out, I had her phone on me and I accidentally turned it on and the past few texts were from him. I wasn't happy with what he said to her. This is a messed up situation that I don't care to be in the middle of, if I'm just a pawn.

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    • She doesn't know I looked. That's the thing. Doesn't matter anymore. I'm done with her. He's been ignoring me and I'm fed up.

    • ah good if she doesn't know... so never mention it... and if u r done as u say... there's no need to "comfront" her as u say in yer question i guess

What Girls Said 1

  • You first need to find out the relationship between her and this other man. Is he a friend or relative perhaps?

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    • He's a friend of mine and hers. But the past between them to include a "fuck buddy" status for a short while. He's in the middle of a divorce. She's great but because of what I think she's doing to me, it questions if anything we had really meant anything.

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    • With proper communication it will. I don't trust anyone but I would hardly call that an issue. It keeps me safe and protects me from being hurt

    • I don't trust anyone outside my circle of friends. Opening up to someone new is very difficult for me. Yet, she made it easy for me to do. I felt comfortable doing so. Which was weird with how soon it is with us dating. It was nice. I've also talked to a friend who dated a woman like her for three years, with a kid between the two of them He's seeing those signs with what I've told him.

What Guys Said 0

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