Girls, would a guy wanting to wait until marriage for sex be a dealbreaker?

While I am Christian it's not just for that reason I prefer to wait on it, and I'm not some sex doesn't matter person. Heck I even have high standards in a girls looks so I'm not an altruist, but I feel like sex should be taken very seriously between a couple and only after enough time connecting after the initial attraction physically. So girls if a guy told you he wanted to wait until marriage or at least until it was to point where that was considered would you be put off? Like I said I'm not hardcore religious, it's more how I feel about waiting for something truly worth it

  • I'd be fine with it
    77% (57)
  • Couldn't put up with it
    23% (17)
And you are? I'm a GirlGuys can not vote on this poll

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Most Helpful Girl

  • i think that is very decent of you to think like that, to find a virtuous guy like you, is more rare than finding a pink diamond ;)

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    • I wouldn't say so, despite my dexent state of mind I have a physical defect that affects my looks pretty bad that basically makes me undateable, this question was out of curiosity, I strongly doubt I'll ever even have a chance to tell a girl I'd rather wait

    • Oh please! You should never think like that! A girl will surely come to like you. and whoever does would be extremely lucky to have such a gentleman as you.

    • Hey don't be so quick to act like I'm a Samaritan, I have high standards myself and that includes looks. I wouldn't date a girl who wasn't very physically attractive even if it means I'll be alone, true I only want one but she has to attractive alongside getting along or I wouldn't do it, and girls comment often I'm homely even plain James so my chances of getting what I need are low when girls I wouldn't consider dating even say I'm unattractive. See I lost my hair when I was very young, it's a long story and I shave whatever patchy crap is left as its my only option..,. what beautiful looking girl wants to date a bald 18 year old?

What Girls Said 23

  • I couldn't put up with it because I don't want to waste time and effort with someone only to find out we aren't sexually compatible. I've been in situations where everything lined up perfectly but the sex was just terrible and could never be fixed. Id rather find out if we work in bed early on (like the first date) before I invest any feelings in you and run the risk of being hurt.

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    • Even by a players stabdards the first date is way too soon, I can't agree with that mindset at all

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    • I get that, but just feel like sex should be taken more seriously. That being said if I ever got a girl I was actually attracted to, to date me and agreed with my waiting philosophy I wouldn't lay awake at night thinking 'man those people who have sex on first dates piss me off' I'm not that kinda person. I may morally disagree with it but if it doesn't hurt me or those I care about and the guys obviously know what they are getting into then there's no reason to declare a war ha know.

    • I completely agree. What others do doesn't affect you, and all of us could save a lot of time and stress for ourselves by realizing that.
      I do agree with you that sex should be taken very seriously. Frankly it is quite dangerous, spreads disease, affects everyone psychologically, builds and breaks relationships, creates life. It is a very serious manner. But one can take it seriously without refraining from it.

  • Hmmmm...
    Interestingly enough when I was younger I thought the same way, but as I've gotten older I think waiting until marriage is kind of a bad idea. I would want to wait at least a year regardless, but I don't think that everyone is compatible in the bedroom so I'd want to see what our sex life would be like BEFORE I tied the knot. If you wait until you're married (which is in general several years into dating) and then find your wants/expectations clash, it may put a big strain on the relationship.
    But if I REALLY liked the guy and he wanted to wait until marriage I would be okay with it :) Communication is key anyway! hahaha

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    • Well mean I wouldn't refrain from contact with the girl, we would be physically involved so we would probably have some idea of expectations for the actual deed

    • Oh, well in that case I don't think anyone would care :D Just do you!!

  • If there were more of you, I feel like many girls wouldn't feel so objectified all the time. :/

    Of course we're on with that! Its just that if you meet a girl who has sex all the time, they won't. But most other women (young women and inexperienced) would be fine with it

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  • I'd be totally cool with it since I'm waiting for either A. a serious relationship or B. marriage before I have sex too. So it wouldn't bother me at all..

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    • It's the exact same for me, I've had opportunity in the past for relationships and sex, but I turned it down since I wasn't physically attracted to the girl, or if I was, I knew the girl wasn't in it for anything serious. It just isn't worth wasting time on something you'll regret, in fact almost every close friend I have who lost their virginity say they wished they would have waited for someone more special/serious rather than some run of the mill girl (or guys if the person in question was a girl) who didn't care either but just wanted to experience sex.

  • I consider it a dealbreaker. I can wait up to about three months, not a second longer. I'm not marrying anyone in such a short time either.

    Sex is an important part of a healthy relationship. You don't have to make such a harsh commitment just to have sex.

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    • Then I don't believe you take it as serious as one should. Like I would consider it before marriage if it was serious enough and the idea we may be together for our lives was floating around, but there's just as many completely healthy now marriages that were relationships that waited on it, so yes while sex can be a healthy part, it's also very easily abused, and those who wait on it are just as happy and have just as healthy if not more healthy relationships.

    • I take it plenty serious, I just think sex is a part of a healthy relationship. I'm not planning on marrying someone until I've known them for years.

      Obviously I'm not just going to have sex within the first week, but having a relationship for years without having sex even once is a bit strange, if you ask me.

      I understand that there are happy marriages where the couple waited until marriage to have sex, but honestly, I'm not going to wait 5 years just to have sex.

    • Well then if you are with a guy who is sweet and commited to you but the fact you couldn't wait makes you leave him then I can't think well of you. I don't really care as long as it doesn't affect me so the point is moot, although plenty agree it's not so strange according the results. As a side note most couple I know who have been married for years dated for 2-3 years, the only ones I know who dated a super long time we either the kind who dated in high school beforehand so basically we're just waiting until adulthood for it or the kind who lived together and might as well have been married.

  • Sexual compatibility is a thing. If we're not sexually compatible, the relationship won't work. I wouldn't wait until marriage.

    Cheers to you if that's what you want.

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  • No. Not to me. I've heard some guys that are like that and I think it's good for them.

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  • I have the same sentiments as you do towards sex so it wouldn't even be a problem.

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  • It shows you have values and you'd be a quality mate.

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  • There should be more guys like you out there lol

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    • Well I also am taking classes to jump out of planes so I am an oddball haha

  • Thats something i would like...

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  • I would respect that, but I don't expect such a man would put up with me, since I've had sex before.

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  • You are like me I don't wanna have sex with someone either till I'm married. or. I know he's the one just think if someone's really loves you they will do whatever it. takes that should bother anyone because. relationships are not jusy about sex

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  • No as long as he can accept that I slept with one other person before him

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  • It would be for me.

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  • Its actually ideal to me but im also a christian

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  • Mabye occasionally to keep your fair maiden satisfied

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  • what MHO said basically lol

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  • I don't know. I'm a girl who wants to wait but if a guy said he wanted to wait I'd probably think he was effeminate or something. Hypocritically enough, I guess I'd like a guy who wants sex now but accepts that I want to wait.

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    • Believe me, sex is something I want, it's not that, Id still want some romance type stuff and plenty of physical involvement but the actual deed I deserved more respect than people give it, and yes you are being a hypocrite in your logic

  • I actually find that really attractive when a guy thinks that way. It means that he is more interested in the girls personality and beliefs that her body. I would be totally fine with it.

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    • This may sound bad but I do very much care about physicality. I have higher standards and fully admit looks matter and are step one of attraction. I just meant as far as sex it should only occur when deep and meaningful-physical attraction a big part of that too

  • I would be fine with it as I too am waiting for marriage! It'd be nice to know we saved ourselves for each other! Nothing more sweet than that! 😊

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  • I would definitely wait if he was the right guy. I also love your reasoning. Honestly, I feel like sex should be taken way more seriously then most people take it and you should be in love with whoever you are doing it with. Now, I have not waited until marriage but I have only done it when in a serious relationship.

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  • It's fine with me.

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