My boyfriend uses hot or not?

Me and the boy, met on the app, we met up and then our relationship grew from there.
He still uses the app. It says when he was last online. I only use it to see that. I have brought this up to him before, he tries his hardest to make me believe he isn't using it to try get on anyone and hook up. he says he just likes to make conversation. but its a site to meet girls and guys.. not usually for just friends. he says he will show me his connections and messages when i next see him. but im worried hell delete them.
i am a very anxious person and he's trying to handle that. i just dont get why he needs to. I know he tries hard to make me believe. but is he just lying because he knows ill believe it.
when i do believe him. somehow I can't fully,

do you think you can just be friends on sites like that. He says he hasn't talked to anyone on there like he did with me when we first met on there 4 months ago. I am always worried he's meeting with someone. but its probably all in my head.

Updates:
I am just very insecure. and he can find someone else. I know its probably not his fault. but even my friends dont get why he still uses it..

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Most Helpful Guy

  • This is not okay... I met my girlfriend on tinder, we became official almost two months later, but it turns out we had been exclusive since our second date lol I deactivated my account when we became official and I looked when she was last online, it was the day before our first date...

    If that makes you feel uncomfortable and he respects you, he would stop, I dont think that is a crazy request, for your boyfriend to not be flirting via a hook up app, even if he never cheats, that can be emotional cheating with flirting.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • i couldn't accept my boyfriend using such an app while he is with me. To me it is obvious that he wants to keep options open. And I also think many guys get away with what their girl lets them get away with. I understand you are insecure and maybe you are afraid to "forbid" him to use the app, but it really isn't respectful! And he should stop, especially if he sees it is hurting you!

    My advice would be to tell him in a calm and secure way that you are not ok with it and that you think he should stop. If he starts defending his behaviour just tell him again it is not right and if he doesn't want to change his behaviour, say: alright! .. And give him the cold shoulder, but not in a way like you are hurt, but as if you made a decision in your mind (like as if you decided to do the same ad he). Don't let him know what you are thinking... It might make him wonder why its "alright" all of a sudden and start thinking. If you beg him to stop and whine he'll just have you right were he wants. Act like a woman that deserves respect and hopefully it will make him respect you more! Good luck dear!

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What Guys Said 5

  • If he's your boyfriend, he shouldn't have any need for an app for finding a girlfriend. He already has one: You :)
    I think it's reasonable to ask him to stop using it whilst he's with you.

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  • You should respect what he wishes to do. If we wants to use watever app or chat with strangers or not his his wish.

    You may be his girlfriend but he does not belong to you. But he does have to respect the love that joins you two.

    So, the problem is not what he does, but if will be faithfull to thee love for you.

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    • Don't you think he has the responsibility to respect her feelings and wants to some degree as well though? I am all for independence in a relationship and life, but specifically texting on a hookup app when your partner has mad it clear that that makes her uncomfortable is a bit excessive in terms of doing what you want... being in a relationship is inherently restrictive.- but maybe that is just me.

    • Try to talk with him again, but more smoothly and make him really understand that you need to feel safe because you dont want to loose him. Just dont say to him, make him feel your wish (without spanking the boy offcourse...) Our problem, men problem is that sometimes we may have some difficulty to feel her, to be in women place. Soo... what i recommend is a nice romantic dinner, make love, and make him understand that you want him in your life, that he gives meaning to it. : )

  • Just tell him you don't like it and ask him to please stop using it as it upsets you

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    • I agree with @sexyphil. If he cares he'll stop using it.

    • But he might care. Young men are not the more racional... but they know to love.
      He is probably fascinante with that app, but he have to realize that it's hurting her. He will understand.

  • Well, maybe it's not as exclusive as you think it is. Or maybe he thinks it's not. Number one failure of relationships is communication!

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  • He could easily accuse you of the same thing. You use it too, you said so yourself. Bit hypocritical don't you think?

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What Girls Said 1

  • even if they can be friends.. he should not.. you are his girlfriend.. why does he need more girls in his life.. and if that site or app is to meet girls and guy then he will only get girl friend.. unless a guy is gay.. this doesn't make sense..

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