so Im mentally not ready for a reltionship even tho i really want to mee the right guy. But whenver i meet a guy it ends very quickly-
I belive i have high expectations towards guys and in dating in general. I think the reason for this is my inexperience, i haven't seriously dated anyone and neither did any of my friends growing up, so everything i know about dating is dating that happend in movies and tv-shows.
I guess i "expect" it to happen fast and smooth, i expect us to like eacother from the get go, the first dates goe and great and before i know it we are in a perfectly happy relationship. But when i meet guys and reliase they aren't like my "dream man" i lose interest. To be honest i think its a self macanism of some sort because if the guy isn't "perfect" that means we need to work for it to happen. I have to overlook that he doesn't like the same things as me, or the fact that he likes dogs better then cats for exmaple.
You could say i expect guys to me "perfect"(even though i know perfect doesn't exsist). but i dont get why i even expect that because i know im not perfect, at all. I dont consider myself super hot or super interesting, so it make no sense that i want a "perfct guy". I have a lot of issues and i know that its very rarely the guy that does anything wrong.. its 99% my fault in terms of judging the guy based on very shallow things.
I dont know how to stop doing this.. help?
Most Helpful Guy
Stop looking for a perfect person (looking top down). Look for a friend instead (looking bottom up), find just one thing in common and try to build a relationship. You don't look at what's wrong with them, you can find fault in any stranger, look at what's you like. Find that one thing you like and roll with it, get to know them and find out more and more interesting things and come to appreciate more about them, you don't get to know someone overnight. You'll find out what you really value in a person and what isn't that big a deal. Dog vs. Cats is like whatever to me at this point, but being humble, comparable in intelligence to me, and pretty chill about everything is very appealing to me.
I met this girl and when I first shook her hand and got a look at her face I thought "meh, but it's not like I've got any other prospects, let's see what happens." A couple months later and I'm smitten and she's the most beautiful girl in the world. She had massive boobs and I'm usually into small, but after knowing her I can also appreciate big boobs. She had this weird walk where she walked with her right foot turned inward all the time, it was kind of awkward I suppose, but I thought it was so cute for some reason. She could draw, which I can't, but it was so cool that she could and I loved that about her, even though I don't care much for it myself. You find thing interesting or special that you didn't know you'd like. Or you find other things don't actually matter anymore compared to what your really like about them. You can't imagine the perfect person so stop comparing people to that. Someone becomes perfect for you by being right in all the ways you couldn't imagine and you compliment each others imperfections. Don't look for perfection. Make a friend (s), build bonds, grow closer and perfection will find you.
God, that was fkn cheesy. :P0
Most Helpful Girl
Your viewpoint on men and the dating process is entirely unrealistic as well as unfair and inconsiderate to the unique timeline of various different individual's lives.
Having standards is a good thing: having expectations is not. Having expectations means that you will be dismissive, ungrateful, and unappreciative for the positive attributes someone does possess. It also means that you won't be patient and understanding when and if they stumble through the relationship/dating process. You need to get more realistic about the human condition. You also need to HUMBLY ACCEPT that men were not put on this planet to please and impress you. They have greater purposes to fulfill besides meeting the requirements of your picky expectations. You're not entitled for the male gender to bend over backwards and commit their personalities towards fitting in this small-minded little box you've constructed for your idea of how a relationship should play out. Accept that we are all human beings with flaws and your mentality will lead you to nothing but a lonely feature with 50 cats.0
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