Can anyone give me any tips to escape the friendzone and take the next step?

I know her for 3 years and we're really good friends. She has told me she loves me a couple of times. But then yesterday she told me about her crush that she's stopping right now and that she's fed up with him. Thats the problem now.. I think im friendzoned. Dont tell me to move on because I won't. It really worths the try as we have a lot in common. Not just interests but life values and such. We might go out in 2 or 3 days. Any tips or help to escape the friendzone if that really exists and take the next step?
PS: I dont want any shitty steps or dating guru advice to "make her want me". You get what im sayin'?
Thanks in advance!


0|0
13|33

Most Helpful Girl

  • Spend some time with her and make sure you both are having fun. You could ask her to go to a carnival or something-but just as friends. Once you guys have spent a while there and you're both having fun look at her and tell her how you feel about her, maybe if she's the type you could use a lame pick up line. If she doesn't say something it's not necessarily a bad sign, just ask her if she feels the same way. When you do this, make sure its toward the end of the day because she might feel uncomfortable telling you her feelings for you then spending a rest of the day with you. I hope everything works out and that I could help!

    1|2
    0|0

Most Helpful Guy

  • confidence, confidence, confidence, I can not say it enough times. It’s all about being confident, speaking up and taking charge. Stop pussy footing around, look her in the eye and don’t be afraid to let her know how you feel. If she does’t see you as being more than just a friend then it is what it is and don’t take it personally, there are plenty of other fish in the sea. Rejection is something you need to learn to deal with and take like a man. The best thing you can do right is to just focus on your plans and goals for your life. I am assuming since you are under 18 you are still in high school. Focus on your grades, get involved in activities and do the things that you love on your leisure time. This is whats going to build confidence and make you interesting to a girl. Don’t get too hung up on finding a girlfriend. Read my takes for some better insight on some topics concerning dating.

    0|1
    0|0

What Girls Said 12

  • The friendzone isn't a thing. Either she feels that way about you, or she doesn't. She can't help how she feels.

    So all you can do is tell her how you feel. If she feels the same, awesome! If she doesn't, then I'm afraid you'll have to move on, because you can't change the way she feels. If that means you need to distance yourself from her for a while, or forever, then do what you have to do.

    I'm now in a committed relationship with a guy I "friendzoned" five years ago. So feelings CAN change, but it doesn't happen easily. My boyfriend had to grow up enough to not be so immature, and I had to grow up in order to appreciate what else he had to offer. In other words, we both had to change.

    0|2
    0|5
    • The friend zone is a thing for people she doesn't feel "that way" about.

  • She basically told you she is tired of waiting for you! A girl can't wait forever! Maybe you need to tell her how she is important to you. Maybe give her some flowers.

    0|1
    0|0
  • Honestly, just tell her how you feel and you can go from there the only way you will know even if you can get out of the friend zone is seeing if there any feelings at all on her part and if there isn't you know you would of been just wasting her time. Also don't act like a friend do little things you wouldn't do for other girls, and call her things to make her feel special and be touchy-feely with her.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Tell her you like her

    0|0
    0|0
    • i have a crush... but i didn't tell her that i love her... should i tell truth... why?

    • If you don't tell her you like her she'll have no real reason to consider you as boyfriend material. Trust me, my bestfriend never told me he liked me until he no longer liked me and he has been in the friendzone for 6 years. My current boyfriend told me he liked me as soon as he realized he did and he was only friendzoned for 6 months and we have been dating for 2.5 year.

  • I think, don't make it seem like you like her! I'm a girl, and I have a few guy friends who's stuck in friendzone with my girl friends. I believe you should just be nice like how you would be to everybody. Be a nice guy in general. And keep your moves low key, but more touchey. Just don't make it seem like you have a crush on her, she'd either get scared or just see you as the friend who likes her.

    0|1
    0|0
  • I don't think ur really friendzoned!!! u actually have a good chance, n if u like her... u shud go ahead with her:))

    0|1
    0|0
    • How do you know I have a good chance?

    • Show All
    • Yeah right. we set a date for today. It didn't happen because she wanted to change the date for tomorrow. i asked her when exactly and she didn't answer. so i guess we're not going out at all. Full mad mode at the moment!

    • I am really sorry bout that... I probably shud think thrice b4 giving advices the next time... really sorry!! dnt get urself mad... mayb she just needs a little time to move on frm the crush she told u about... please don't go low...:))

  • I gotcha but first it'll be better if you give her some time, hangout with her more but not everyday, enough for you to come to her mind, once someone thinks of you constantly like develop to like you, but slow down take time and appreciate her.

    1|0
    0|0
  • It's not friend zone if you don't ask.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Well personally I wouldn't tell just anyone that I love them, escpecially not boys 😊 Tell her she looks pretty (in person), compliment her a little bit (avoid including a compliment in every sentence though) and make sure you listen to her and make her laugh. Be the best possible friend she could ever have, but try taking it to a level of friendship where it wouldn't be weird if you told her you like her, because if it's not weird, she likes you

    0|0
    0|0
  • OMG. Don't you realise that guy is you? Just kiss her already!

    0|0
    0|0
    • Its not me. I know who's the guy she was refering to

  • Tell her. If its a no, don't take it personally! But don't beat around the bush, just say it, or she will move on...

    0|0
    0|0
  • Show her that u care about her, she would not mention her crush if she is certain that u like her,
    So go get her!

    0|0
    1|0
    • I do show her and I also told her I love her. Dont know how she takes it. Do I show my feelings the wrong way and fall in that friendzone even more?

    • Show All
    • Dont confess just try to show her u like her in a romantic way by flirting, compliment her look, tell her u miss her, hold her hand etc, dont just hang out like a regular friend if thats not what u wish to be labeled as!

    • *Applause - you know what you want, very few girls are like you

What Guys Said 32

  • you're definitely friend zoned dude. You've been friend zoned for a long time. The only way out of this that may get results although definitely not guaranteed is to stop being there for her at every whim and start getting other friends to hang out with. Not saying to drop her entirely but definitely build a life outside of her. The rest will happen natually

    0|2
    0|0
  • You got friend zoned because she looked at your behavior (didn't make any moves or declare any interest) and girls think of that as "wimpy" behavior. Most girls want a guy who is more of a "take charge" guy. You need to make a change in your behavior to make her think of you differently. You need to show her that you have become more assertive, more confident (but not cocky,) and more overtly sexual. Don't waste anytime before you start holding her hand, touching her on her arms, shoulder, and back. Give her a passionate good night kiss. Show her that you are boyfriend material if you want to have a chance with her.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Escaping the friend-zone it horrible. One of the only certain ways of escaping is to ask her out on a date and make sure she knows it's a date. Maybe she'll humor you and when you both are in a more intimate setting, rather than just 'hanging out', like she does with all of her friends, things can unwind more naturally. Don't tell her you like her, but make sure she can see though your actions that you are interested.

    0|0
    0|0
  • If you've never made your intentions clear, you're not friendzoned. Tell her you want to move in a dating direction. If she says she only sees you as a friend and not a possible boyfriend, THEN you're in the friendzone. In that case, you DO move on, because you're not going to change her mind. You've made too much of an impression as a platonic friend already and she's not going to see you differently. Having things in common doesn't matter. If she doesn't see it that way, she doesn't see it that way.

    0|0
    0|0
  • A girl is either initially attracted to you or not. It's also based on physical appearance, just like for males. Therefore, if she's not attracted to you, then there is no way out of that. And if she's crushing on someone else and telling you about it, she's probably not crushing on you.

    0|0
    0|0
  • You sound like her emotional tampon. Forget about her if you want to keep at least some of your dignity intact.

    0|1
    1|2
    • sorry if i made you think such a thing

    • He's right asker, the window opportunity closed when you didn't tell her what you wanted up front - its a really hard mindset for her to lose - to see as someone she'd sleep with - confessing your love will only make it worse this is the real world - she'll laugh at you with her boyfriend

  • You tell her how you feel (and in future it might behoove you to do this sooner rather than wait a long time), frankly and confidently.

    If she feels the same way, then that's wonderful. If not, then you must decide if you can continue to be her friend. If you feel it's too painful to continue, then I suggest you walk away until you're ready to be her friend, if ever.

    0|0
    0|0
    • Oh! How could I forget? (Insert obligatory remark about how the friend zone doesn't exist)

  • Hey similar problem one of my guest had asked me on askkenny show. The solution worked out, so first thing first, first of all you stop thinking that you are still in the friend zone. Give her clues like if she comes to your place or she has access to your belongings or books or something which is common in you both. Place a old dried leaf or thing now this might be some thing she can correlate to it. Make her think that she know you are thinking of her. Try this first I'll tip you more. Come back if you need to boost your moral

    0|0
    0|0
  • " PS: I dont want any shitty steps or dating guru advice to "make her want me". You get what im sayin'? "

    The only way to progress with girls is to admit that you suck at attracting girls and that you're an orbiter.

    Enjoy being the 'guy she settled with' until another guy takes her away and you're left crying in the corner.

    0|0
    0|0
    • You know that i ain't give a fuck about your "opinion" right?

    • Show All
    • You think Im asking an insulting opinion?

    • Yes, it is insulting. I intended it to be like that.

      Ultimately, it is up to you to take it as an insult or grow a pair and take it as it is and use it as a constructive criticism.

  • Best case scenario is just put your cards down on the table and accept your fate. You might lose this girl as a friend, but you will lose her knowing you at least told her how you felt and asked her for a chance. Imagine if you never did and she ended up with some one else...

    0|0
    0|0
  • You tell her the truth, that you have feelings for her.

    If she reciprocates or is prepared to give things a try, great!

    If not, you drop the subject and never mention it again.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Yeah I am right there with you on that one bud. It could be that she wants you to make a move by telling you she is fed up with her crush

    0|0
    0|0
  • Just ask her if she could see you as more than a friend. She's not just gonna assume you like her and wait around for you, you have to let her know. If you don't, she will continue to accept the advances of other men and I doubt you want that.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Dude, unless she's 12, if she says she loves you I'm sure she has some idea of what she's saying. Ask her out. Why didn't you do it before? It sounds like you were leading her on.
    by the way, someone help me with my question plzzz

    0|0
    0|0
    • are you joking we're both 17(ignore gag age-.-) i'll help:P

  • Well, if you're going on a date, say "Hey- I like you". There's no way to misunderstand that.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Ask her to Lick Da Tip

    0|1
    0|0
  • Just tell her how you feel and ask her out on a date, if she says no, then the ship has sailed my friend

    0|0
    0|0
  • Honesty the best thing is be straight up I have been in the same situation and i told her that hey i like you more then friends and I want to make this more. It may sound shitty but that's the truth.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Ask her on a date

    0|0
    0|0
  • I had this friend I liked I just went in for the kiss one day while we were watching netflix lol

    0|0
    0|0
  • Well... maybe, just maybe... tell her that you like/love/etc her and see how she reacts?

    0|0
    0|0
  • Dude just find another girl.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Tell her straight out that you want to date her.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Ask her outright, but make sure u can stay friends if not.

    0|1
    0|0
    • There's a slim chance of things going back to the way were - after he confesses - both of them wouldn't want that weirdness - when he gets rejected

  • Find another woman, simple as that.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I think I may have a solution.

    PS: It's funny how some of the girls saying that the friendzone doesn't exist, maybe they put somebody in the friendzone before.

    0|0
    0|0
    • huh what solution :P

    • Just tell her how you feel. If she doesn't talk to you ever since that day, then she's a you know what "B word".

  • If you are in the friendzone... the only way out is to distance yourself from her for a bit. If you are her lap dog and come running every time she decides she wants you around, or every time she needs your ear to vent into... you are essentially making yourself her bitch and unless you become unavailable she will never see you as anything but that.

    1|2
    0|0
  • Sounds like there is two potential reasons why you are still friends despite your attraction towards her. First obvious one is communication. You need to actually talk to her about your feelings, not ambiguous comments about how you think she looks good or slightly suggestive touches. And the second one is that she isn't attracted to you. And this could be her being picky or something but for the most part we don't choose who we are attracted to. You couldn't just say hey I want to be attracted to males now and then magically you would be. Speaking from experience there really isn't much to do.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Picture this though, when you hit the bedroom... do you think you can do it? like really do it?

    Nah I'm just messing with you.
    The only way to get out of her friendzone is to change, talk to her less and less.
    Wait a year in the army and come back and sonic boom her husband in the face.
    Then you'll all live happily ever after again.

    Best bets, hurt yourself so bad that you'll look like Vash the stampede.
    Then she'll feel sorry for you and fall into your arms...

    Get a taco and share it with her, that's how I got my girlfriend lol.
    We eat Mexican foods twice a week haha.

    Just be creative rather than ask on here, because friend zones are a bond that can't be broken easily. Actually that's what a friendzone is... You're basically asking us to change how she thinks about you with some manipulative stuff...

    You're manipulative bro...

    0|0
    0|0
  • Sounds like she is comfortable enough to tell you deep things about herself. Play it off cool be there for her and be straight forward with her don't be afraid to ask her if she wants to go on a date.

    0|0
    0|0
  • More from Guys
    2
Loading...