Is having a dating preference for Asian guys wrong?

Okay, now you probably think I'm a racist... but here's my honest no bull explination on why I have a preference for dating an Asian.

It's not because I think they are some unicorn who can somehow provide something magical in my life that these "other guys" couldn't.

No, it's much more shallow than that...
I love their eyes. Hair. Noses. FACE.
I am in love with the Asian facial features. Western faces are beautiful too, please don't get me wrong. However, for some reason I am drawn to Asian features more.

So, I actually have three questions if you don't mind taking a look at them:

1. Am I racist/a bad person? I am the only girl I know (I live in Maine) who is a non-Asian who likes Asian guys. Everyone else here wants a white guy or a black guy (mostly white though).
2. Do I have self-hate? I have very curly hair while most Asians have straight hair, I have a high nose, while the noses I'm attracted to are more flat... see where I'm going with this?
3. Is this the infamous "yellow fever" that I see all over the internet? Can girls have it? How can I stop it?

I am so troubled with this because I get made fun of a lot... I think because I'm half black and half white people expect me to date black/white guys, but on the whole I don't really find them my type. :(

P. s. I've added a picture of me so that you can see what I look like. Would an Asian even like a mixed girl? (I just cut my hair, I have plans on growing it long again :D)
Is having a dating preference for Asian guys wrong?
THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME!!! :)


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I know you might feel alone, and in your part of the United States, you might be. But I know two of my friends (white girls) your age who are obsessed with Korean guys. The love Asian guys in general, but they would only chose to date Asians, not other white guys. We've had long extensive conversations about it. The truth is, the preference of some people lean towards their own race while others look to others. There is nothing racist or wrong with wanting to date another race of your choosing. And you are not a bad person, just someone who knows what they like. As for your self hate, it is tied into the same ideology of you choosing Asians over any other race. It would only be bad if you truly believed that an entire race of people, white/black/or all the others were inferior to Asians, or the race of your choosing. As I said, my friend really liked Asian guys at an uncomfortable level. So there are lots of people out there who really like Asian guys. This has only increased with the popularization of J-Pop and K-Pop into the Westernized world. I am also with you in liking Asians. But this doesn't define me as a person, in a good or bad way. It is something I'm comfortable with admitting and eventually you won't be afraid of what anyone else says. The world tries to make us feel bad for wanting something good. It is different, but since when was different a bad thing in this country? Your only real problem is that you are in the wrong state. I suggest you move to either California, Las Vegas, Texas, or New York. There are a lot of Asian guys out there that would be thrilled to date a girl who looked at pretty as you with an open mind of dating Asian guys. I have a few friends from Japan and they complain all the time saying girls never want to date them because they are Asian. He's out there waiting for you

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    • Ohhhh, you made a lot of good points here!!
      I totally agree when you said that some people tend to want to date in their own race and some don't. I think because I'm mixed, it's very hard for me to stick to "my own race" because I have never met another biracial boy my age. So that's out of the question kinda lol.
      But thank you so much for your post, and I think I am gunna have to move out of Maine, yes... I love it here but I need more city life and a little bit more diversity if I'm going to stay in the US :)
      You are so kind, and I really wanna thank you again for this!!! I am so glad I made this post/joined this site you guys are seriously amazing <3
      Have a good day :D

What Guys Said 16

  • No. I love Asian girls for the same reason. But I enjoy their culture too. My girlfriend is Chinese and she could be a big model if she wanted too. She's with me though and I'm happy. It's an LDR so it's hard. Try finding someone over there who is interested in foreigners. It's much easier because they generally dont want to date the people around them so they look outside. And if you're looking inside you'll find each other.

    If you want, PM me and we can show pictures and stuff. I can help you with what to do and what not

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    • Ohhhhh yikes... LDR :( I have kind of the same thing going on except it's a friendship only... I like him a lot but he doesn't seem to like me *sigh* I'm glad you're having success in you're relationship!
      I actually am going to PM you, and we can talk further about it for a bit :)
      Thank you so much!!

    • hahaha PM me, waiting XD I'm excited

  • THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOUR PREFERENCE.

    Dating preference is an emotional things and, as an emotion, is not subject to logic.
    In fact, trying to explain it with logic can make a person come off as insecure/dumb/racist/ etc., but honestly, it's what they like.

    So date that Asian man, as long he makes you feel good, then it's ALL GOOD!!

    by the way, you are a pretty girl.
    Have a nice day!!

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    • Thanks for your compliment!!

      I never even thought about it that way... you're right though! Feelings are feelings!!
      I hope I didn't come off as insecure, I just didn't have anywhere else to turn to since there's nobody around me with the same preference... *sigh*
      Well anyway, thanks a bunch!! I think your opinion is my favorite so far~
      From now on I'm gunna go around chanting "IT'S ALL GOOD!!!" hahaha
      I hope you have a good day too :)

    • Sorry, I meant to say insincere, not insecure. :P

  • No, you're not racist; you just have preferences like everybody else. Self-hate? Maybe you should learn to accept your own features, whilst still appreciating others.
    Yellow fever sounds more like a fetish, as in: you wouldn't mind being with any Asian guy/girl, you would date them regardless of their personality.
    I don't see why an Asian guy (or any guy in general) wouldn't date you; You have a cute smile, beautiful glistening eyes, smooth-looking skin, and beautiful Curly hair.

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    • I really like your comment :) And a big thank you for clearing up about yellow fever, as I DO care about personality a lot!!!
      Oh, I didn't mean to sound like I consciously hate myself hahaha. I'm fairly confident in my physical features, I just wasn't sure (if that's the case) why I don't find people who look more similar to me attractive. That part's not really a big deal though :)
      Thank you so much, you're so sweet! Have a good day!!

    • I wish you a good day as well.

  • It's just a preference, of course you can go for whatever you want too because it's your life! I'm sure you had an ideal guy in your head so that's naturally what you're going to be attracted to. You shouldn't feel bad at all and you're definitely not racist or a bad person.

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    • This helped a lot, thank you very much!! I feel so silly for asking this question now hahaha :)

  • All this nonsense about people's dating preferences being 'racist' is ridiculous. You like what you like. If it's Asian guys, then go for it.

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  • Asian Facial Face? but you didnot specify which country you mean? i mean ASIA is too big with a lot of countries. i think you are going toward Chinese who dont have hair in their face. And you mean ASIAIAN-AMERICAN not AIAN who lives in ASIA.

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    • Goooood point, I should specify which region. Here I'm talking about East Asian, but a small amount of facial hair doesn't really matter to me!
      Also, Asian-American or Asian from/living in Asia is okay. When I was in Japan I saw tons of guys who were my type, and when I was in Boston I saw tons of guys who were my type. Either is fine. :)

  • You look lovely and no you are not weird or racist. You just prefer what you prefer. This is what keeps diversity in the gene pool so go for it fill your boots

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    • Thank you sexyphil, I will take this advice and be happy with my preference :) (finally! lol)

  • Your beautiful for real. there's nothing wrong with liking Asian guys.

    Sounds like you have a lot of pressure for liking something and recieving hate from it. America is still very racist and straight up mean.

    And yes, i would definitely date you.

    Asian guy in Canada

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    • Thank you so much!!

      I agree... I've been thinking about it a lot after I posted this, and why I even thought there was anything wrong with it to begin with...
      Ikr! America needs to get their shit together real soon or I'm out hahaha. Maybe I'll move to Canada too? :D

      Anyway, thanks for your input and have a gooooood night :)

  • I think you just have good taste.

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  • I'm black and I like Asian, and black, and latina.
    I don't care why, and no one will tell me so.

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    • Yeah I wish I would just stop caring why... maybe one day I can be at peace with it like you are hahaha.
      Thanks! :)

  • I am Asian, and your smile made my day.

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  • Not at all, you like who you like.

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  • Damn girl you fine but seriously it's a free country who cares what people think.

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  • Studies show mixing races produces more attractive children. It's very healthy to prefer people who look different because it means genetic diversity- so it's not self hate, it's actually suggests you have high self esteem!

    I've lived in the UK and Australia and it's totally normal to be into Asian guys. Being mixed race makes you a bit more open minded so it might be that you allow yourself to consider options others don't as well... the truth is, interracial couples is constantly on the rise..

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    • by the way, you have a very beautiful (and photogenic) face which only supports those studies!

  • Plenty of men wished more women prefered small cocks.

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    • Because men with big cocks need to hide behind anonymity.

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    • Ah good. Finally a woman who's not obcessed with madingo cock.

    • You must be gay, why are you watching Asian guys dick pictures?

  • Yeah it's racist but being racist has two sides of it but clearly the worst part of the negative part is the only one talked about.

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    • Uhm, could you maybe elaborate a little bit more? I think I sort of get what you mean, but what's the other side to racism that you're speaking of?

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    • Asker don't even listen to that. =_= there is no such thing as positive racism.

    • @bards there really is but like i mentioned before its one of those things where only the negative is looked at. lets take sexism for example. lets say if a guy hated a girl made fun of and shunned her just because she was a girl thats sexist correct? so is it not sexist if a guy was protective/over protective, kept around, and joked with just because she is a girl? both have their negatives and positives but only the negatives will be looked at because thats how it will be always portrayed in the media.

What Girls Said 5

  • Not racist, merely a preference. Not that different from how some people say they only date blondes/brunettes, are more of an ass man or boob man. etc.. I'm in the same boat as you in terms of preferring Asians over most other races. My boyfriend, as a matter of fact, is Asian. :)
    Your preference for Asian bone structure and facial features in no way indicates you have any self-hatred. You're quite pretty. It's also pretty well understood that most will have some sort of underlying attraction to individuals who are more different or exotic to themselves. Something about genetic variation making your offspring stronger from back in the days when we still had tribes and such. You could be like me and specifically love Asian features because they're so different, and largely insanely sexy for that very reason.
    No such thing as 'Asian/yellow fever'. It's merely a preference that only recently has become getting more popular or just more expressed as society becomes more open to globalization and interracial dating as a whole. Black/white couples have been the most common when it comes to that, so it's only a matter of time till people become just as familiarized with other racial mixes as well.

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    • That's what I'm saying!! How is it that liking Asians is somehow racist but only liking blondes or people with brown eyes, etc not seen as an issue?
      Thank you very much for your kind words, and I have come to realize as well that it's not self-hate but appreciation for something different from me :) Thank you for seeing that too!!
      I totally agree with the yellow fever thing... I think there's a point where it becomes too much, like you'll literally take anybody (even if they're a shitty person or you have nothing in common) just because they fit the image you like. But most people aren't like that and are still looking for the whole package :)
      As a mixed person myself I, of course, am a huge advocate for mixing, and I kind of have no choice to have biracial children. Well, maybe unless I am with another Mulatto and then even still.. I think they will be labeled as two races since our numbers aren't big enough to be seen as another race lol
      Interesting stuff, thanks for your input!!:)

  • ah I'm exactly like that too lol I love Asian guys! I don't think it's racist though... we just prefer certain kinds of features... that usually belong to Asian men? lol

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    • Right! And wow, after reading the opinions on this post it seems like nobody cares as much as I thought they do... maybe because there aren't as many Asians in Maine as whites so it's seen as something abnormal here :o Well anyway, thanks for your comment too!!

  • i dont think it is racist.. it is just your preference.. and you are pretty...

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  • Nooo its not racist.

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  • @Ihav2fart would certainly date you!

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    • Heeeey, are you playing cupid? Lol
      Thanks for your comment chica :)

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    • No, but you wanted to hear opinions from Asian guys xD and I knew he's into pretty non-Asian girls xD

      @Ihav2fart I knew it!

    • True, true! lol
      Well thanks both of you! It helped a lot :')

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