Why don't I get asked out?

I see a lot of girl my age getting asked out easily by guys but guys just don't talk to me. The odd thing is they just stare at me to death. I grew to really like a guy who watch me everyday but he never talked to me. I get so lonely and sad because I think well what's wrong with me that men are so speechless with me. I see some of the most plain to ugly women with boyfriends. I just get stares. I get stared at by women as well but that's another story. It sucks because I want to go out and spend time with the opposite sex and have fun and eat and get to know each other. I actually told the guy that stared at me everyday that I like him and he ignored my advances. I even see guys asking girls out on social media lol and think lucky them and wish a guy would come to me and ask me for my time. I know it will happen someday but it's lonely for me now.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Well, how much do you put yourself out there? You keep saying people stare at you all the time, but you never initiate anything with them, you're not making yourself approachable. Yes, you did tell that one guy you are interested in him, but that's just one guy. (Also keep in mind that just because you got rejected doesn't mean it's the end of the world.)

    From what you've said, it seems you're just waiting for Mr. Perfect to magically appear in front of you and ask you out. Well lemme tell you something, that's not how it works. There needs to be some kind of connection first before anybody is gonna ask you out. And you can do that by putting yourself out there, initiating conversations with people, and making it known you are an approachable person!

    It's not a guys job to do 110% of the work. You're part of this too. You can talk to guys, you can ask for a guys number, and you can be the one to ask the guy out! There's no rule against that.

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    • I only will make effort if I have feelings. No feelings no effort.

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    • Well, then I guess relating that to your main question "Why don't I get asked out?", that right there might be the problem. You might be setting your standards to high, only wanting to put effort into that "special someone".

      I gotta story for you. In my Fall semester English class, there was a girl who I never really thought much of, she didn't come off as super attractive, I didn't know her, and we only talked once throughout the entire semester, only because we were in a group for the day.

      Next semester, we had public speaking together & I still never thought anything of her. Our first speech was an introduction speech where we had to introduce a classmate. Since she was the only person I really recognized, & I'm assuming vice versa for her, we became partners. We got to know each other extremely well throughout that project & it turned out she was the coolest girl I had ever met.

      Moral of the story being that special person could be right next you, now you just need to meet them

    • Now that story is a little different then actually going up to someone and talking to them. I didn't care or want to talk to her, we were kinda forced to be together. And at that time before I met her, I kinda was the same way, I didn't want to put effort towards a girl I didn't have a crush or feelings for. My point is I never would have known she was that amazing of a person unless I talked to her and got to know her. And because of that, I've been more open to meeting new people.

      So just give it a try! Just try talking to some people! Whether something comes out of it or not!

Most Helpful Girl

  • People are just like you don't be so stuck up and try to talk to people first. I do t think they're staring at you either I'm sure they're showing interest in you and may feel shut down at times if you're too reserved. Being shy is okay but just try to get out of your shell and mingle people are nice enough they don't bite

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    • Surely shy girls have boyfriend too?

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    • Also, I'm certainly not going to date a loser honey lol

    • You can easily be a very confident person who likes talking to a multitude of different personality types, knows how to handle a lot of different situations, and has a lot of different life experiences which yes does include dating people quite even possibly a loser. Does it mean that you're a slut and you fuck every guy you meet and you're a dumbass? No not at all. Just live your life see the world for what it is and maybe you'll know how to approach someone. You don't have to lose who you are and fail but hey at least try it seems like you just expect everyone to come floundering to you.

What Guys Said 4

  • Some people blend in or seem like they'd be hostile to anyone who approached them. Many women give off cues to let a guy know they are interested, so perhaps men simply don't approach you because they believe you don't like them.

    If guys won't come to you then you need to come to the guys. Just keep asking men out, you can't get so discouraged by one rejection. It hurts but not everyone will be interested.

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  • This is only a maybe. You might seem unapproachable

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  • Give it time. It will happen.

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  • Your dad's not a Navy SEAL is he

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