Should I tell him we need to stop talking to each other if he won't try to move things forward?

There is a guy who I have been chatting with for about 10 months now online. We know eachother in person, but don't live too near one another... Probably about an hour of travel on public transport, maybe a bit more. He is self described as being awkward and really bad at making a move. We spoke for maybe four months before we spent any time together, and it was almost by chance since we were going to the same destination. However he did spend all his time with me while there, payed for me, gave me hugs and a quick kiss to end the trip. He came forward to me and said he really liked spending time with me. We continued to talk every day since then, but he hasn't made plans with me. I mention that I want to see him and he says he wants to hang out with me, but can never give a time or a reason why he won't make plans. I don't exactly push the issue but why would he show affection and say that but not follow through? Is he really that awkward and nervous or is he just playing games? Should I tell him we have to stop talking of this won't progress because my feelings are getting hurt by this avoidance to make plans.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • My roommate met this amazing girl and they both clicked very well. But they ended up breaking up (his fault) because he wasn't making the effort to go see her enough. She lived about an hour and a half away from our place. Distance puts a strain on people and if he is that far from you, it is something guys think about. Now, if you really are worth it, he should make the effort to come see you. I say should, because it is hard on some guys. I don't think the awkward thing plays a factor considering how long you've known each other and you both have met. I would make the effort to go see him but don't do anything sexual to show him that you do want to see him but he needs to make a effort if he wants something more (in case you're afraid of him being a player). I think you're on the right track, that you should inform him that you are interested but if he doesn't start making an effort, you'll move on.

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    • I actually just got up the nerve a few days ago to ask him what the deal was- as in, if he planned to actually see me again in person. I told him that I needed to know because all of this uncertainty has been hindering me from pursuing other options (romantically) that have been available to me for some time. He told me that his only hesitation has been about the distance and said he's been questioning the practicality of it for the long term. I think based on what I said, he got the gist that I would like to move on if we won't try to make it work out, but he never really elaborated beyond feeling uncertain about the distance. Not sure what I can do now.

What Guys Said 2

  • There's not much else you can do. There is a point when you have to cut your losses.

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  • Show up at his door

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    • I don't know... That would make me seem like a stalker, which isn't a good look to have.

    • He likes your company he's just a little shy

What Girls Said 1

  • Yes, tell him if he doesn't move things forward you gotta move on. You can't wait any longer.

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