My Boyfriend Thinks His Ex is Prettier?

So I've been dating my boyfriend for two years. I'd seen pictures of his ex before and never really felt threatened; I always thought she looked super average. Currently, we're doing long distance because we're both in college and it's summer, but I'm going to see him in two weeks.

Right before summer, I was on his iPad and I saw a conversation with one of his female friends. She had asked him who the hottest girl he had ever dated was. He said probably his ex. About me, he said that I "had my moments", whatever that means. Right away I brought it up with him because I was kind of irritated. He didn't straight up say who was better but just that we dressed differently and she wore more form fitting clothing.

I didn't bring it up again until last night. I've been feeling really self conscious about how I look and generally feeling low. I also feel like he never really compliments me on how I look. While telling him about how sad I've been, I said that I wasn't as pretty as her. He didn't deny it but just said that I'm hot. I didn't like that answer; I guess I wanted him to lie and say I was prettier, so I kept pushing it and straight up asking him to say that she was better looking and he got kind of upset. He was all "Why do you keep pushing it I don't get why you're putting me in this situation. So what if she's better looking, that doesn't mean you're not good looking like I thought you were pretty from the beginning. Also, looks aren't everything and I like you for more than that. I don't wish you were her and I'm glad you're not"

I know I got what I asked for in pushing it. I know there are other things that he likes better about me but I guess just that its a FACT that she's prettier really bothers me, especially since I thought she was average. I've been looking at pictures of her and comparing myself and it's making me want to avoid him. I know I'm being stupid but I don't know how to not let it bother me. I want to hide my face from him.

Updates:
Also, he's my first boyfriend like I don't have any hotter exes or anything. I also think he's super attractive like even boys that I've hooked up with in the past I don't think any of them are as good looking as he is, which doesn't really help I guess.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • You shouldn't want to be lied to.

    And you should be happy that he cares about more than your looks.

    The only thing that he did wrong was to discuss this with his female friend,

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    • Yeah, you're right. Thank you. The thing with the female friend I'm not really worried about. He went on a high school Model UN trip like 4 or 5 years ago and still keeps in touch with all these people he met, even though he hasn't seen them since then. This girl is kind of annoying but she's way younger than us and I think he just likes being able to talk to someone who isn't at all involved in his life. I don't know why she would ask him that, but from what I know she's pretty immature and clingy.

    • Oh, yeah, I'm not implying that there is anything between them, only that it's a little disrespectful to discuss that particular subject. But, actually, if she's not a close friend, perhaps it's not very disrespectful to discuss it with her. It would be like discussing it with someone on here!

    • Ohh okay yeah that makes sense. She's practically a stranger haha.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Maybe you two need some distance. That's never good when someone makes you feel less than worthy. I also don't like how he allowed the conversation to even exist, he was walking into hot water the moment she asked and should have shut her down immediately.

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What Guys Said 2

  • I've dated some exceptionally beautiful women in the past. If all my future dates felt threatened by pretty exes like you do, then I might as well kill myself now.

    You're insecure about yourself. You went so far as to snoop on his private conversations on his ipad. You need to realize how crazy you are being and find a way to deal with it without inflicting anymore annoyance or pain upon your boyfriend, otherwise, you'll just drive him away.

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  • haul off and kick him in the nuts and tell him to change his view

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What Girls Said 4

  • There are tons of hot women in the world. There are always going to be women that our men find more physically attractive than us. But it's because they know us , and love us, that makes them want to be with US! I know it can hurt to think that he found her more attractive physically. But he told you that he prefers you to her because you have qualities that she didn't. You are more what he wants than she was. Be happy that he sees how beautiful you are inside and out.

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  • I think you have a right to feel uncomfortable and even if you weren't as attractive a guy should always tell his girlfriend she is the most beautiful girl in the world. I don't like the sound of your boyfriend and he doesn't seem to deserve you, I would dump him if I were you

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  • Date someone hotter than him

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  • Dump his sorry ass

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