Are women allowed to have standards when it comes to dating?

Men typically have very high standards for the women they date.

Are women allowed to do so as well? If women do have standards for the people they date, how are they perceived?

Discuss.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Everyone can have whatever standards they want as long as they don't complain if they have trouble finding someone who meets those standards or if the people who meet their standards dont want to date them.

    Personally I think it's hard to say definitively which gender has higher standards since what we want is often different and varies depending on what type of arangment we are looking for.

    Weight=girls are judged more
    Height=guys are judged more

    For casual sex girls definitely have higher standards, both physically and personality.

    Actually I'd even say girls are pickier about looks when hooking up and more forgiving on looks when looking for a relationship. Also there's more pressure on the guy to be fun/charming /entertaining, meanwhile guys only care that the girl is down to fuck.

    Guys are usually the reverse, they are often willing to lower their physical standards as long as the sex is easy to get with no strings attached. However if he's going to commit to the girl, he's going to be more selective about her appearance.

    So it's harder to meet a girls standards for casual sex than it is to meet a guys standards for casual sex. But it's harder to meet a guys standards for a relationship than it is to meet a girls standards for a relationship.

    For marraige girls are more judgmentental about a guys salary. Girls generally prefer a guy with the same income or a little higher. While guys don't tend to care as much.

    For marriage Guys are more judgmentental about a girls number of sexual partners. Generally he'll prefer a girl with the same number of partners or less. While girls don't tend to care as much.

    I think guys are less willing to compromise when looking for a relationship. Especially when it comes to marriage.

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    • When does a person's standards make them bitter?

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    • I don't see why they'd care

      they don't want to date feminists, and you don't want to date guys who have issues with feminism.

      it seems like you are on the same page, neither of you want to date eachother.

What Guys Said 13

  • I've learned that absolutely everyone has high desires the difference comes in at how much people are willing to forgo those desires which results in standards. A lot of factors can be at play. How attractive are they? How attractive do they think they are? How many options do they have? How attractive are thier options? How integral are relationships to thier well being? What's their romantic history like? And that's literally not even the tip of the iceberg. But one of those questions I think is what causes the seemingly big divide between man and woman. How integral are relationships to thier well being? First off I'd like to point out that both men and women lie all over the spectrum on this question and their isn't as much gender divide as we think. The real difference comes in at the sociological level. Men in most countries despite having strong desires and emotions are taught to conceal and deal with those feeling inwardly. While women due to the reinforcement of gender stereotypes feel less inhibited to express these feelings with others. So as a result women converse more about things like this and have an easier time dissecting relationship "necessities" from desires as well as more outward social pressure for expressing
    seemingly more realistic standards. Over time girls do the exact opposite as guys. They express the necessities while hiding the kinda irrationally high and superficial desires while men hide the more emotionally sounding desires that are more likely to be necessities and instead show more of thier less vulnerable desires. So I think men and women internally are pretty similar.

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    • At one point does a particular person having standards sound embittered?

    • Really depends on who's listening. For example I've explained my stadards and how little I'm willing to compromise with both my family and my friends. I'm literally a "this is who I want and if I don't find her I'll go completely without" kinda guy. My family hears it and understands and supports it even if that means I grow old and alone. My guy friends rarely talk about it. And my platonic female friends often think it's a little unfair usually because they don't make the cut. Which is why I have a lot of platonic female friends. Now I don't change my standards but some people find them admirable, intelligent, and positive overall while others try extremely hard to change my mind. So sometimes it's not what we say or do that makes something wrong or unflattering but how other people perceive it and for the most part that's out of our control.

  • Everyone has standards when it comes to dating, I don't see why a specific gender has to have the upper hand in that matter.

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  • I don't believe in grouping and I try to view everyone as an individual. Each person has their own standards, my view of normal criteria might be perceived as low or high standards by someone else but I definitely don't think my criteria should influenced by my gender, attractiveness, race or economic status.

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  • Men have high standards? Typically it's women who have the highest standards. Perhaps men have higher when it comes to looks, but in personality women have way higher standards.
    And obviously they are "allowed" to have standards, I don't understand why they wouldn't.

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  • Just yesterday I saw a topic on "Do men even have standards?"...

    But to answer your question too, sure anyone has standards, and mostly if a random guy walks up on a girl she analyses him and if he's not perceived to be attractive and interesting enough for her, she's not going to be interested... Those are standards.

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  • They do have their standards.

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  • Most women do have high standards and there's little in modern society tells me otherwise.

    In my observation of men in society and being male myself I can say with reasonable certainty that men do not have such ridiculous standards.

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    • At what point does a person become embittered for having standards?

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    • Who do you think is the most likely to become embittered?

    • Men I think, and I don't blame them. Standards affect those who make them but moreso those that they are placed upon. Those more often subjected to a high standard are going to feel powerless because they aren't the one's setting the standard. They're going to feel inadequate and frustrated as they struggle to meet that standard, doubly so if they fail. Even if they succeed it makes sense that they might still be resentful of the expectations and pressure, doubly so if they are compromising more than the people they are trying to appease. It makes satisfaction a hard thing to come by for the ones the high standard is applied to more than the ones applying it.

  • They already do. Are you kidding?

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    • No, honey. I just got called a bitter hag for having standards by some anti-feminist.

    • I think you need to take a closer look at the women that guys are with. You will find your answer there. Guys take what they can get.

  • It's a free market. Both parties have standards. When either of those standards is not satisfied, the transaction, in this case dating, does not happen.

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  • Everyone should have reasonable standards

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    • At what point does someone's standards make them come off as embittered?

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    • Who, in your opinion, are the most likely to be embittered?

    • I think it's about equal

  • Lol high standards, I didn't know that I did *sarcasm*

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  • Why wouldn't you people be allowed that...

    @9mfeo , can you guess My dating standards that you women have to meet?

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    • You know that you don't have to tag me on my own question, right? I see all of the activity.

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    • Darling, I'm not bothered by you or your dating standards. Cheers.

    • Ahh... I just wanted you to guess what you think the man's standards are, because men don't typically have high standards... A lot of men will agree to this, some girls too probably

  • What the hell? Its the other way around. Men are easy.

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What Girls Said 6

  • Everyone is "allowed" to have standards. Gender/sex makes no difference.

    Whether or not those standards are realistic/reasonable is a completely different story.

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    • At what point do you begin to come off as embittered?

    • Can't speak for everyone, but usually when you start complaining or develop a negative attitude about dating/relationships.

  • Yes everyone is allowed to have standards. According to whoever's judging, my standards could be perceived as racist, shallow, too high, etc.

    And If a guy calls me bitter based on my standards that just means he's insecure because he does not meet all my standards. Those type of guys can fck off.

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  • She'll take a lot of flack for it.

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    • Why do you think this is?

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    • Bitter is an odd word to use.

    • (I was recently called bitter for having standards)

  • we do have standards..

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    • How do you feel you are perceived for having your personal standards?

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    • Do you think that having standards makes a woman bitter?

    • nope.. not at all..

  • yes ! of course !

    we should all be able to choose who we want to be with.

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    • How do you feel you are perceived for having standards? I was just called a bitter hag for having them.

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    • I hate that notion. Settling. I'd much rather be alone than in a bad relationship, ya know?

  • Of course women can have high standards, just don't make them too high.

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