Guys, Friends before boyfriends, what do you think?

When you like a girl, do you accept to become friends first or do you prefer get to the point? How much time do you wait to ask her to be your girlfriend after being friends? Do you have patience to wait if she asks to be friends first or if she asks to do that, do you look for another girl? Tell me your experience, please.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Personally I prefer to be friends first. It takes me a REALLY long time to be sure I like somebody. I want to know them thoroughly and I pay close attention to how the person behaves. But usually by the time I know them well enough, I'm so deep in the friendzone that I will never come out. I like being friends first and if a girl turned me down after I asked her out, I'd be hurt for a while (like i said, i like to be sure before i ask) but then I'd get over it and look elsewhere.

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What Guys Said 12

  • Being friends before being romantic is not a bad thing, being friends instead of being romantic is bad. If a guy likes you but agrees to be friends with you, that is needy and weak and you will not be attracted to that. It's just feminine instinct to be attracted to man who know and go after what they want.

    If I liked a woman and she asked to just friends first, I'd simply give her my number and tell her to call if she changes her mind. I'd never talk to her again until she called, unless I ran into her in public, then I'd say hi, but I wouldn't try to be her friend.

    There's a woman I like right now that I see a few times a month, and I asked her out in the past the first day I met her. Recently she came up to me and commented how we haven't talked in a while and my response was simply "You've got my number, you should call me if you want to go have some fun". I'm not rude of course, I'll be playful and talk to her for maybe a minute or so, but if she really wants to see me then she needs to call and schedule a date with me. Friendship is not on the table. Maybe she will, maybe she won't. Only time will tell.

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  • I prefer to be in a "flirtationship" before dating her. Because i need to get to know her and get comfortable first, but i don't want her to friendzone me and lose interest. Which is why i try to maintain a friendship in which i obviously flirt with her, so that she knows i like her, until i get comfortable enough to ask her out.

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    • That sounds like my situation. They guy I like is my "friend", but he flirts a lot with me (for example: he touches me a lot, he hugs me, he touches my hair), he doesn't act like a friend.

    • Yep. Either he likes you, or he is gay.

    • No, he is not gay...

  • I don't mind friends first, but I don't understand the whole "wait 5 years before asking them out" nonsense. If I am friends with someone, then after about a few months of really getting to know them, I'm ready to date them. Marriage, on the other hand, I need a little more time for. Just being friends is one thing, but dating is quite a bit closer to what marriage will be like.

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  • I'm up front about my intentions right away. If I just want to be friends I tell them and if I want more I tell them but I also tell them I want to take it kind of slow to build a a good and solid relationship. Sometimes the girl won't take no for an answer though and when I tell them I just want to be friends (not attracted as girlfriend material for whatever reason) then sometimes they think they can "convince me" and sometimes that creates awkward situations.

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  • I am okay with getting to know each other, but you should figure out what you want in 6 months.

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  • Just me, but I don't just hang out with girls as friends. If that's what you would tell me then i'd be checking out, politely and going on about my business. Doesn't mean you couldn't call and chat or whatever, but I wouldn't be going out of my way to talk with you even if I liked you.

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  • I accept to become friends first cause guys dont want to be only your lover but your friends also. Well me personaly when we are friends with this person i need to make sure she is into me before i make a move because if i risk it to ask her to be my girlfriend and she says no thinks will not be the same as before when we were friends, so if you like a guy that you are friends with him try to make him you like him so he will make a move.

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    • Yes, I like a boyfriend who can be my friend too :)

    • Its the way keeping the relationship longer cause you can tell her anythink you dont have secrets thats what with your best friends will do even hang out for funny thinks that friends will do but its hard to be a real friends with your true lover cause to be with someone best friends you need to like and do the same thinks

  • I don't befriend girls. I made things clear from the beginning and ask them out. If she's not my girlfriend after the third date, i leave. The only girls i'm friends with are the ones in my social circle like school or work. I won't risk anything with them though because it might make things become awkward between us.

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    • After the third date, you ask again or you wait for her to ask you?

    • Generally, things become really clear and obvious after the third date. If the girl's really attracted, she almost always make it super easy for me so when i ask her, i'm 100% sure she would say yes. If i don't feel like there's a spark or enough passion between us, i back away and wait for her to do the next move, and at the same time, maybe go for an other girl. I'm not sure if i'm gonna go with the flow if she ever asks me though because 3 dates is more than just enough to tell what kind of relationship we two might have unless one of us was being fake which is bad. I'm not the type who will stick around for long. @timmy111 thanks :)

  • yes but you should make your intentions clear

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  • I don't want to be friends first because I don't want to get stuck there. She will get comfortable with the situation and lose interest in me if I wait too long.

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  • Naturally, I'll be friendly first. However, I won't wait super long to ask her out and then she has the option to either see potential in me and say yes or she can just give me the "let's be friends" let down. The point is I will make my intentions known and if they girl doesn't see me that way at all then I will move on. Let's be honest, when she met me she either had a spark of attraction towards me or she didn't so in my opinion there really shouldn't have to be this process of being friends first. Why not just start building a romantic friendship from the get-go?

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  • Me, I'll get to know her as a friend first. Then we can take it from there.

    Answe mine?
    www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q1619468-how-do-i-take-it-to-the-new-level

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