Only ever dated online?

I was a severe introvert. Never dated, ever. Not through high school, not through college. Even friendships have been difficult to make and maintain. Most of my interaction with people, particularly in recent years, took place online. One online friendship on Facebook evolved into a relationship over time which continues to this day, problem being that it is very long distance and there are certain cultural differences which may pose difficulties in the future (before it's asked, I have confirmed with complete confidence that she is not a catfish and we video chat regularly).

I have started seeing a therapist. A good one. I'm working to improve my social skills, to be more outgoing, to make more friends (both male and female) and improve my relationship with my family... problem is, they disapprove of this relationship, of me being exclusive with a woman I have yet to meet in person (but will in spring of next year). They want me to date locally. My therapist knows the full details of the relationship and does not disapprove of it - even discouraged me from ending it (I don't want to end it), but my family has grown increasingly hostile towards it since the reveal, with some refusing to even meet her.

I never wanted to hurt or alienate anybody. There may be a similar reaction from her family when she tells them the news, and there may not - I've trusted her with how to handle things on her end.

What are your thoughts on this situation? Is it wrong to want to continue to be exclusive in this relationship while I work on building my social circle locally?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Online dating won't work forever.

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    • And as I said, it won't be online forever - she'll be here next spring. We're well aware of the limitations of online interaction.

Most Helpful Guy

  • As long as it's realistic I think it's OK. Realistic means not just dreaming and hoping. How long has it been now? With a LDR sooner or later you have to meet and spend time together face to face. If that first step goes ok, then sooner or later one of you has to move to the other's location. You can't just move to another country because you want to. Every country has immigration laws. You must meet whatever criteria the laws set. That could be a major hurdle and potentially stop the whole thing completely. So check the laws.

    Is all of this realistic? Have you ever met anyone from the internet in real life? Were they how you thought they would be?

    I have NO problem with this kind of thing. I think the internet is fantastic for people like yourself to meet others with common interest. But there are very real problems with the distance. As long as you are being realistic about it, I think it's fine and wish the two of you luck.

    On the other hand, if those things aren't realistic, if meeting in person falls through or keeps getting delayed, if the whole thing drags on year after year, then you need to question how realistic it is. The internet makes the world seem small. But she is very very far away and that's reality.

    Romeo Romeo, whereforth art thou?
    I'm just under your window - oh wait, I'm 7000 miles away across two oceans.

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What Girls Said 1

  • I was in the same situation but we haven't met as long as you do.

    I think it can work if both are committed to it.

    My experience didn't go well because I have some trust issues and I pushed him away and I miss him like crazy.

    Go for it!

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What Guys Said 2

  • I believe it's not too late, fuck that girl, you go guy and pick some bitches on the street, bring them home and fuck them. You get some experience, then fuck more bitches and get more exp.
    Just like game you know, then you level up, and then you become pro, then you play as you want.

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    • Not a screw-anything-that-walks kind of guy, sorry.

    • not anything that walks.. but anything that has a pussy... and same number of chromosomes as you.

  • My advice is make sure you both think it's a romantic relationship before making any rash decisions.

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    • The plan at present includes her living and working close enough to date like normal people for almost a year after this spring. It fits well with her plans for school, even if we were to break up before then. It will only be online through the end of this year.

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    • That's a given. I've been cautious. She's never asked me for anything and made it clear she'd be covering all of her own expenses.

    • I think this is a rare case where it could all be legit then.

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