How to tell if a guy has lost interest?

I swapped numbers with this guy I met at a bar a month ago, we've been texting a bit and last week we arranged to meet up for a drink to get to know eachother better. I think the evening went really well, we had so much in common and there was a lot of flirting going on. Went so well that we met up again on Tuesday night to have a meal. He said he'll message me in the weekend to meet up again. But its been 2 days and i've not heard much from him! Does this mean he's lost interest in me?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • How old is he? If he's over the age of 22, give it 3-5 business days.

    It takes a confident person with a healthy self-esteem to not be afraid to text back immediately or whenever the hell they feel like it. Instead, people usually let the following thinking get the best of them:

    - If I text back "too soon" it might come across as desperate
    - I may make the other person like me more if I play "hard to get"

    Implicit in that line of thinking is:

    1. "Negative reinforcement" (i. e., I'm insecure and doubtful about myself, and whether I am or should be desperate or very desirable in the marketplace; so, I want to behave in ways that "reinforce" the idea that "I'm not desperate").

    2. I don't feel that my 100% natural self is "sufficient" to make me attractive enough to this person, so I'm looking for ways to make myself "more" attractive to this person, to make up for the fact that I might not otherwise be "attractive or desirable enough" for this person the way that I am naturally.

    What a lovely way to start out a new relationship, but I digress.

    If it's happened once, just give the person the benefit of the doubt and bring it up in a nice way next time you talk to them. For example, "Hey, was everything okay? I started getting a little worried, I was about to call the police and file a missing persons report. You just went MIA for like two days. I thought, jeez, maybe he like REALLY didn't like those jeans. I knew I should have gotten the ones with a beer bottle and a football in rhinestones." (it's funny, you're not being serious, but you're making it comfortable for him to explain what happened, and assure you why it won't happen again or why this situation was unique and out of the ordinary).

    Worst case scenario, he doesn't call you back. So what?

    Just relax and wait 1-2 more days. In the meantime, stop driving yourself nuts. If you have his number, try texting him first with that casually funny script above. It could be something as stupid as him losing his cell phone with your number on it, or getting stuck in an elevator, or losing his charger and his phone dying. You don't know, the possibilities are endless, so just stop wandering.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Be patient, time will tell

    Just continue living your life as you always do

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    • OK thanks! He did mention on our second date that he's bad with texting people, like he sometimes forgets to reply or something. I will keep myself busy to take my mind off it.

What Guys Said 0

The only opinion from guys was selected the Most Helpful Opinion!

What Girls Said 1

  • He might just be busy😘😘

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