I'm an Atheist falling for a Christian?

I met this guy online, we've been talking for a few weeks and we really like each other. We've talked about dating but just last night he told me he's Christian. It's sort of a deal breaker for me but I'm hoping maybe there's still a chance.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I can see it being a red flag, but why is it a deal breaker?

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    • Because every Christian in my life is always trying to convert me; it's inconsiderate and annoying. I have to hold my tongue from telling them my argument because they're always older than me so I'd get in trouble. I realize I can't judge an entire group of people based off some but I always feel like I'm being judged around Christians.

    • I tend to take Penn Jillette's point of view about Xians trying to convert me. I would actually be a bit offended if they DIDN'T try to convert me, given what they believe is in store for me if I die a non-Xian. Nor do I hold my tongue with Xians trying to convert me. I debate. I argue. You can debate and argue respectfully.

      However, most people don't want to debate and argue with people they are dating, so I understand you. I really do. Might I suggest just going out on one or two dates with him and see how preachy he gets (if at all), then decide where to go. Perhaps before you go out, you might want to bring up your concerns.

      The last woman I dated a few months ago is deeply religious. My atheism was a great concern of hers. Yes, she did try to tell me her point of view. Yes, she invited me to church and I went. Yes, she feared for my soul (a point that actually endeared her to me... would I prefer that she not give a damn?). Yes, in the end it didn't work out.

    • However, we parted amicably and I hope for the best for her and vice versa.

      By the way, my mother and father were of different religions. My mother was a Catholic, my father an atheist. They were married for 51 years, and most of those years were happy. No, I'm not saying this is the norm. I'm just saying it can happen.

      Thanks for inspiring my next question. Come check it out if you can.

Most Helpful Girl

  • It would be a deal breaker for me also, so I feel you. It sucks and you can still like them, but it probably won't work out.

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What Guys Said 9

  • well if you can't dig it then don't get into anything, that's all.

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  • Not all Christians are of the same strength.

    I'm a Christian but I'm not one of those overly preachy ones that goes to church 4x a week and wants to be married before any sexual play. I don't even go to church.

    Don't "dealbreak " him just yet!

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  • You need to know his depth of commitment to Christianity. Many Christians are nominal Christians and do not adhere to Christian doctrine. Just ask him how he would feel about being in a relationship with an atheist.

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  • The biggest problem with relationships like that is future children. Sure you can have a lot in common and even love each other but I'm sure he will want his kids to be raised in his faith and he would probably want you to convert eventually.

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  • Dating isn't a problem nor will be living together. Education of the kids will be a big one.

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  • Then accept him and his belief.

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  • With any luck, it'll work out, and he'll convert you. :)

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  • That's kind of insensitive... if you think about it!

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    • Because every Christian in my life is always trying to convert me; it's inconsiderate and annoying. I have to hold my tongue from telling them my argument because they're always older than me so I'd get in trouble. I realize I can't judge an entire group of people based off some but I always feel like I'm being judged around Christians.

    • That's you making rash assumptions and generalisations. I'm sure if you firmly assure the person you have no interest in converting then they will leave you alone.

      But is that not complementary.

  • well I think at your age it is fine... so long as it does not get super serious like having kids and getting married... I refuse to raise my children in a religion, unless of course they choose one on their own.

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What Girls Said 3

  • Accept your differences and don't interfere with each others beliefs. If you can do that your relationship will be just fine.

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  • Dont worry I fell in love with a JEW lmao

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  • Why does it matter?

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    • Because every Christian in my life is always trying to convert me; it's inconsiderate and annoying. I have to hold my tongue from telling them my argument because they're always older than me so I'd get in trouble. I realize I can't judge an entire group of people based off some but I always feel like I'm being judged around Christians.

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