A year and a half and why do I still pay for everything?

Its been a year and a half with my girlfriend. We're very much in love. I know some comments might say "shes useing u dude" but thats not the case. Im very street smart and see a good game coming. Anyway, after a year and a half i still foot the bill on everything. Last weekend we went out for a day date. Spent xx amount of dollars. She wanted to continue but i said i couldn't. Rather than say dont worry about it, drinks on me. The drive home was rather quiet. She has money. Not like she's broke. For the 1st six months its a mans duty to cover activities, in my opinion. But after this long its starting to drain me. We discuss moving forward. Marriage etc. But how can i blowing the cash i do. Whats your opinion.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • That is because you allowed her to. You should have discussed this before you even date.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • What the fuck? Jay tell her that you are gonna have to spit everything in half... That is bullshit.. she should also tell you yourself that you two should split the bills..
    She Is just using you!!! Does she even love you?
    I don't think you are street smart if you are letting this thing happen to you!
    Speak up man! Be in control!!

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    • Just want to clarify. I dont pay her bills or her gas etc. Its just activites. She was raisied in and old school type of family in which the man handled everything. Plus the rick ex with daddys money to throw around didn't help either. Now a lot of the time money is not an issue with me. I make pretty good money. But its more of the times when i have a ton of shit on my plate (which she is aware of) and rather than offer would just sit home or postpone something rather than digging in her wallet. As the man i understand thats my role. Its just how things go. But make the effort is my point. Attempt. Try. WTH!!

What Girls Said 6

  • She's got to understand you are not the bank. She needs to get really. It's so hard to date these days because of this reason... How many times are you welling to pay the bill to have fun? You have to budget your week... and you have to look at her and say, this is what I have to have fun... and stick to it. If she wants to have more fun, the bill is on her and I'd let her know... it called going dutch after you have hit ''the bucks stop here''...

    She needs a reality check... you have spoiled her. But the honeymoon phase is over... Reality must start now. Could you actually lose this girl... maybe... Maybe she's selfish... but you need to know if she's a spender or a saver. You don't need to marry this girl if she's keeping you in debt hole... BIG RED FLAG

    You both need to take about a fun budget... if she doesn't have money, she needs to work on herself so you both can meet in the middle... and maybe take you on a date.

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  • You need to talk to her about it, mate. Tell her you can't afford to pay for everything, and suggest that you start splitting bills. Don't make it accusatory, just explain that while you wish you could buy her everything she wanted, you don't have the funds for it.

    A good idea might be getting a jar, and both of you putting in spare cash throughout a week/fortnight/month. When it comes to date night/day, count up the money, and decide what you can afford to do. Whether it's a night out at a nice restaurant, a trip to a theme park, or just a night in with takeout and a movie. This will also let both of you save up money for a wedding, etc.

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  • Have you ever mentioned this to her?

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    • Mentioned. Lol. I sorta kinda flipped out the other night. She wanted to go somewhere. My estimations was very costly for set event. When i told her i couldn't, she questioned what did i spend my money on and why.. I snapped.. lol

    • Have you ever mentioned that you would like her to pay for things as well, knowing that she has money of her own?

  • I'm sorry, did you ever tell her that you only wanted to pay for her the first 6 months? Maybe she hasn't gotten the memo and thinks that's just what you do.

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  • you should've talked about this a year and a half ago.

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  • You've never ever put her in the position to pay for anything and now you complain that it's draining you after 1.5 years. As street smart as you are, you've fallen for someone smarter.

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What Guys Said 2

  • Well... she's used to it? You should talk to her about it and how that makes you feel paying for pretty much everything

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  • You said she's got no money so either she finds a way of earning some or you stuck fitting the bills dude

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