Guys, Why do you go cold?

I´ve noticed that l a lot of guys, when they first meet a girl they like, they chase her, flirt a lot, etc. but then after the girl shows interest too, they go completely cold. and sometimes they blow super hot and then cold.
Why´s that?


0|0
10

Most Helpful Guy

  • There are two main reasons they might do this. They may just be shy, simple as that. Alternatively, they could be seeing signs that they've seen in the past. Girls use certain types of language to avoid outright rejecting a guy who they are talking to. An example would be if a guy asked out a girl and she gave an inconclusive answer ("haha maybe"). It leads a guy to have false hope which inevitably leads to disappointment when the guy figures out that she was never interested. If he sees the same signs that he has seen before with indirect women then he may think you aren't really interested. It can be a bit difficult for a guy to tell in certain circumstances whether a girl is genuinely interested or just playing along.

    1|1
    0|0
    • Personally, if im not interested i usually make it clear, but i do know what you mean as a lot of girls like playing along just to feel important

What Guys Said 9

  • I've been told I do this , hot pursuit to begin with then cool off massively. Honestly I don't know why. Personally I think maybe there not being receptive to meeting or something like that (in my head).. maybe they didn't respond once or twice I may take that as a "curve" like a hint she's not interested in meeting up when in reality maybe she's busy.. frustrated about something in life , then they just get forgotten about as other girls are more pro active to texting me first and what not. If i'm not emotionally invested in a girl I don't feel she's special and she'll get forgotten very quickly because in the beginning stages their is loads of girls around.. a lot of girls seem indirect these days instead of saying "no I would not like to go out on a date" they ignore or say ahhaa maybe? you know so when girl's start acting like that despite us having weeks of good convo's/ meet ups I usually stop pursing in a sense

    1|2
    0|0
    • Great answer, i guess you guys also need us to show some interest, and being more proactive, a lot to think about, thanks

  • For some guys I think it's a commitment issue, for me whenever I find out a girl like me back I just say, what now? And I don't really know how to take the next step. Sometimes I just miss the signs that the girl likes me back and I give up because obviously she isn't interested but then I find out later that I screwed up.

    0|0
    0|0
  • they are shocked and surprised that u really may like them, and don't know what to do, stay after them, they will respond

    0|0
    0|0
  • I've gone cold on a girl ones. She literally said I was "cold". I liked her a lot but it was too much work to get her to like me to the point I felt like I was giving too much of myself to her being super nice and sweet and just to get smiles and a rare hug so I backed off hard because I knew it would only lead to my own heart break. So after two weeks of no contact "I'm cold."

    0|0
    0|0
    • Other time before that other girl just wanted to be friends so I stopped talking to her because... she didn't like me and she said "why are you being cold?" I wasn't I was still being friendly just not trying an seems like that's what hurts girls some play hard to get and when we stop trying or get tired out it's out faul?

    • Definitely not your fault, i know a lot of girls that do that, i mean they play along just for the fun of it, and because it builds up their egos, to know they are attractive. Though some maybe are just shy.

    • No just that feeling when girls get angry because we stop giving attention.

  • Maybe she took too long to flirt back and he lost interest. Girls take way too long to reciprocate and we can't wait around forever for you all to figure out what you want.

    0|0
    0|0
  • This specific breed on man is the type that knows they got the girl, now time to let her chase him. Seems to think that since she knows he's interested, and she is as well, no use playing the cutesy stuff anymore.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Yea I've gone cold on a girl. (Assuming you mean just cut iff all interest) i realised that i didn't know what i wanted in a relationship and if i was really in the position to date. I felt like i wasn't so i just backed off.

    0|0
    0|0
    • Yeah i meant cut off interest, and your answer really makes sense, thanks (:

  • because now that they captured the girl and the girl become submissive, there is no more thrill.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I've done this and i really don't know why because i am really into this girl. she is probably wondering wtf just like you are

    1|0
    0|0
    • hahaa i dont get it, and yeah thats exactly how i feel

    • Show All
    • but that's confusing. what is the difference between a girl who is being cold because she actually wants you to leave her alone, and a girl who is being cold because she wants you to try harder and to pursue her to make her feel like she's worth the hassle?

    • The thing is if she liked you at the beggining, the most likely thing is that she will always kinda feel attracted to you, so if you first hit it off, but the you go cold out of nowhere, she probably will too, but if you pursue her again, she will respond. So you kinda sense it from the start in my point of you

Loading...