So I finally made up my mind that I'm moving in with my boyfriend of three years (I'm nineteen years old in case you were wondering) :) I obviously love him deeply and know this is the right step to take in our relationship, but I'm also the littlest bit nervous about the move because I'll have a lot less privacy and might potentially embarrass myself down the line, lol :) I guess I'm curious about your most challenging aspects of moving in with your boyfriend/girlfriend & how you managed through the rough spots :) What did you like best about moving in together? Did you have any regrets about your decision to take that step? Thanks in advance & also what was really fun about moving in together? I obviously want this to work out and not ruin good thing we have going so I wanna be absolutely sure that this won't make things different between us in a negative way.
Thanks for your help!!! :)
Most Helpful Guy
I wouldn't worry too much about it. Don't over think it. When I moved in with my girlfriend, it was not planned. It happened kind of slowly and was just the natural course of things. We spent the night together more and more. Eventually we got to the point where it was almost full time. When we got our own place and lived in with each other for real, there wasn't even any discussion about it. We just did it.
As for privacy, that's going to be important. In all relationships it's very important to know how much space and time alone the other person needs. Everyone needs some amount of that, but how much they need varies a lot. When you move in together, this gets amplified. You aren't going to want to be in each others face 24/7. You can't be talking 24/7. So you have to give each other quiet time and alone time.
Basically you will be living together under one roof, and in close proximity, but you still need to be individuals with your own needs and wants.
Have you talked about finances? Like how you'll split bills, groceries, furniture, dishes, etc? Will you own things jointly? Or will one of you buy some things, and the other person buys other things? If you own jointly, how will that work out if you separate? How will you handle it if one of you loses your job?
Who's going to do the chores, grocery shopping, washing dishes, cleaning the toilet? With many couples this just naturally works out with little to no discussion. But it can also cause heated arguments.
This is the real thing now, not pretend. You asked about what was most challenging. I don't really know. It wasn't challenging to us. We just naturally slipped into it gradually over time. We also gave each other a lot of space. She did her thing and I did mine. We spent a lot of time together, but we also did a lot on our own. I don't really remember any specific challenge, but maybe I'm just forgetting. It was really about all the little things combined. So you just take them one at a time.1
Most Helpful Girl
Well, I think you're quite young and that moving in right now could be a little soon.. only because that's a really REALLY serious thing. But i don't think you shouldn't do it if you feel like its right for you. My only thing is, I hope you know living with someone doesn't mean you just live there and they only care for you (unless thats the set up you have and he has enough money to take care of you both..) its a responsibility.. a home... whether its an apartment or a house.. its work.. bills need to be paid, if money is tight.. it could bring friction which you both will need to overcome.. sometimes being around each other all the time can be a lot, and there may be times where yourself or your partner will want distance and it could offend the other.. because some people need more distance than others.. and it can become suffocating depending on what kind of bad habits either you might have. If you've spent multiple days together then you may have had an insight of how one lives, but its sa whole different ball game.. you won't know until you're in it.. but i strongly advise that you prepare for the worst and always hope for the best.3
- Show AllShow Less