Would you be involved in a polyamorous relationship?

Question

Personally I would like to be involved in a polyamorous relationship since that way I can be with many women and it wouldn't be considered cheating.

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pnl86 · Accepted Answer

No way. I don't mind if my female partner goes with other guys. If some other guy is servicing her, that's less work for me at the end of the day.

On the other hand, one girl is enough. More than one girl is just complete derailment from life. Between work and family, I don't know how guys do it. It's called porn. You don't need to position yourself to meet porn, you don't need to pick porn up, you don't need to woo porn, you don't need to flirt with porn, you don't need to pay for porn, and you don't need to care whether porn got off.

Men don't really want "sex" with a real life human being most of the time - they just want to get off. Going with another woman is retarded. That's like buying a Ferrari just so you can pick up groceries from the store on the corner. How is that worth it? Just "walk" there and back. Cost/benefit people.

Plus, there's a sort of guilty pleasure from knowing that there are "other girls" out there that are still looking for a guy they actually want to have sex with, and are either at home with "no guy," or have compromised and settled with a guy that they don't really genuinely want to have sex with (i. e., are stuck conflating how they feel about the guy emotionally in order to convince themselves that they have desire to have sex with him).

For $0 and in 15-30 minutes, guys can have a much better (and safer) experience at home on their own, than in trying to go around having sex with all these other women. I, personally, think that's retarded when I see guys doing that.

Plus, guys don't actually need to "have sex with" other women in order to get all the emotional/psychological benefits from the "polygamous" lifestyle. Guys need to get better at telling when a girl wants to fcuk him. You can "flirt" with a girl - that's okay. When it gets to the point where you can tell that... if you wanted to keep letting things naturally move forward, it would eventually lead to sex... STOP! You're done. You've gotten what you came for - confirmation and validation that you're still sexually desirable and wanted in the marketplace. You don't actually need to "have sex" with that other girl to prove that to yourself.

Plus, think about your kids. Are you really going to let your kids not graduate with honors, or not go to a better school, or be drowning with debt from student loans, or not buy their first house sooner, just because you wanted to go with all these other women? I think that's stupid.

Scrambledagain · Accepted Answer

Im in a Poly relationship. But poly has many levels. It can be a strict open relationship (like Will Smith is in) or it can be many people having deep relationships in a group or it can be some massive occult thing if you want. Its just a path one chooses other than monogamy. I know a few things about myself:
- I can love more than one girl at a time.
- I can lust after many women at one time
- I believe that traditional relationships in Western Culture is a social construct, like religion. You can choose those things and be happy, but there are alternatives. It doesn't make you bad or wrong, its just different.
- Sex can be intimate or recreational.

So it just makes sense to me to be poly and I am happy. They most important part is negotiating boundaries and navigating jealousy. But this can be done.

And to all those who think your are a "manwhore" or man-slut"... Im a goddamn proud whore. If one person, just one, can argue why its not right to NOT be a slut, I will be amazed, as you have some insight that nobody has.

I am in a strict open relationship. We let each other have things we can't give each other. For example

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I am not sure full on poly would be workable for me, as I like a lot of aspects of monogamy but I do have had massive difficulties with remaining faithful when I am in monogamous relationships.

The ideal situation for me would an open relationship where you're allowed to sleep with people outside your primary relationship, but subject to following agreed rules: 1) No sleeping with anyone who is friend or acquaintance of your primary partner 2) all outside things have to be one offs - so no sleeping with another person more than once 3) operating a don't ask don't tell policy regarding your extra curricular adventures and 4) obviously mandatory to use protection and regular STD check ups, etc.

It's really unrealistic to expect your partner never to be sexually attracted to anyone else, even if they remain emotionally committed, and sometimes all you need is to be able to sleep with the other person once, to get it out of your system and then you can move on and no longer be distracted by your sexual attraction to the other person. I appreciate that very few people would agree to that kind of open relationship, but I do find it ridiculous when people end very long term relationships of 5 years or more, because their partner slept with another person just once and never had any intention of starting a relationship with the other/man or woman.

An affair where your partner was basically having a parallel relationship with someone else for months or year, is a genuine betrayal worth breaking up over, but sleeping with someone else just once, is being human.

I think that an emotionally committed relationship that allows for a limited degree of sexual exploration on the side is more realistic than expecting your partner to be a nun/monk, where the opposite sex is concerned, especially if you're a couple within drastically different sex drives.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Polyamory is just a certain way people are wired, and I'm just not wired that way so no. The idea doesn't appeal to me. I have a friend who is polyamourous and so are her boyfriends and she says she couldn't be happier. I've tried open relationships in the past but they just didn't work for me. Everyone is wired a different way, some are hardwired monogamous such as myself, and others aren't.

If you want to be in a poly relationship, you also have to know that those women are just as entitled to be with other men as well. Don't confuse polyamory with a harem.

Derpyy · Accepted Answer

I would love to be in another one, honestly. If one can bypass the insecurities and jealousy, it can be a wonderful experience. Especially if the two lovers could be friends outside of the triangle, it strengthens the bond even more. It's wonderful to be loved in that manner by two people and be so open about it. Refreshing even.

MissNowhere · Accepted Answer

No way! I'm very monogamous by nature, I could never be polyamorous. If I'm with someone, I wanna be with that one person only. So all that polyamorous stuff is not for me.

hellionthesage · Answer

Most studies show that polyamourus relationships fail, either due to jealousy or because the balancing of time between muliple people and having to ensure no one is left out becomes increasingly difficult. When you have sex your brain releases oxytocin that creates emotional bonds with that person, if you where to spend to much time with one individual then the other it would result in a stronger emotional bond resulting in the disolution of the polyamourus relationship. Others who do not end up ruining there relationships usually slide back into a monogoumus relationship for the above reasons. We are not built for it mentally or biologicly. Honestly seems just another excuse to get your jollies without it being considered cheating, as you have admitted to. As for my personal feelings, no I would not want a polyamourus relationship, I find balancing time with a hand full of friends dificult, throw in multiple girlfriends and it would be a nightmare. I only want one women and I would not tolerate a girlfriend to be with any one but me. If I am expected to ask her out, take her on a date, pay for date, repeat, buy her flowers, buy her jewelery, spend time with her love her and cherish her, why would I allow her to run off and have sex with another man when I was the one doing all the work?

Jbgurl20 · Answer

I my opinion, i think it is better to be in a monogamous relationship. I get jealous easily and I am pretty selfish when it comes to my guy. I don't want the idea of him being with somebody else and I don't think I can be with someone else beside my significant other.

Creative_Catbug · Answer

Not at all. To each their own but I'm a 1 woman chap o_o Other women seem to just turn into grey blobs of personality when I'm in a relationship anyway lol.

Prettygurl12 · Answer

Again. Case in point. An excuse for men to be manwhores. No thank you.

musicbrain5 · Answer

It's not for me. Just as you are polyamorous, I'm the opposite. I only want one partner at a time and having multiple partners just doesn't appeal to me. I don't even want sex outside of a relationship. I know you probably think that monogamy is weird and try to convince me to be polyamorous, but it's not going to work. Other people can do it, but it doesn't appeal to me. I don't see what's so bad about wanting to be monogamous.

DeltaDanner · Answer

I get jealous too easily. I feel relationships should be something very special and shared between two people. That's just my opinion though

Cmasterson · Answer

I don't think I could ever be in a Poly relationship I know some people that are and good for them, I don't have the strength too. A lot of the people I know that are, are in one because they want to see their partner happy AND they are capable of loving more than one person and be totally open minded. I couldn't because I get jealous and I know I do. But also it's just not for me x

FullMarriageEquality · Answer

I'm in one. I am polyamorous and would describe myself as such even if I wasn't seeing anyone or was seeing only one person. It isn't for everyone, but it is for some, and consenting adults should be free to have their relationships without discrimination.

Prof_Don · Answer

I'm not built for a poly relationship! I don't want to have to share my loved one with anyone.

ThisDudeHere · Answer

I'd sooner shoot myself in the foot than try this stuff out.

Unersheep · Answer

In reading your comments I see that you want to be with more than one woman. Ideally two bisexual women to have 3somes with. But would you be OK with your woman being with other men too?

Anonymous · Answer

Yes, this is romance for me, not the "one and only" business most go for. I want to have two or three partners that are all in love with each other as well as me so we can be like a family. But I'm not as interested in liking only one and sharing them, or being liked by two who don't get along.

Sara413 · Answer

I think that for some people, that is the best option. But for me, it is not. I would not be happy in that type of relationship. I much prefer a monogamous commitment.

Anonymous · Answer

Absolutely not. I am a one woman man and she better be a one man woman

Neko_Chan · Answer

I'm in a polyamorous relationship (it's three people, including myself). However, I would never be willing to have an open relationship.

Jessicocoa · Answer

I would like to be in a monogamous relationship. I respect those who prefer that lifestyle but it's not for me.

kangy · Answer

over my dead body. monogamous all the way

Anonymous · Answer

Usually, it's far more complicated than it appears. I know a couple in an open marriage. There have been some really fucked up situations...

DaddyRollingStone · Answer

"polyamorous" sounds like a cool way of saying "I want to cheat on my SO but don't want to get in trouble, so I'll just make them be ok with it."

Anonymous · Answer

Hey bud. It's you again. Yeah I'm currently not in a polyamorous relationship, but I'd like to be. I've never dated from a monogamous standpoint.

Would you be involved in a polyamorous relationship?

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