Why do so many people judge the status of their relationships based on the frequency of texting?

It seems that so many people (mostly girls) are on GAG asking about why they're not getting texts... or why it takes so long to get a text... or how much time to wait to text, etc. Everything seems to hinge on texting. I find this strange. What about technical problems? What about failure to pay the bill? Is it fair to judge a relationship status based on texting?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Its not fair but girls over think everything omg maybe I shouldn't have said that I wonder if he really likes me what if he is using me maybe I'm bothering him maybe there is someone else and that is why we all act like complete pycho paths.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Because they don't have a life. They are the same people who think everything is based off of FB. If your relationship isn't on FB, it isn't real. That's what this sad world is coming to.

    Just think, these are the same people who will be ruling the world in 10-20 years... we're Fukked.

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    • That's what I'm really worried about!

What Girls Said 24

  • The odds of something like an accident or phone disconnection are much lower compared to people who don't text due to lack of interest.

    We (guys and girls alike) are told that if someone is interested, they will contact you. I find this is true, especially in the beginning phases of dating. While I don't hold texting habits in as high of importance level as how often we see each other or how he treats me, it is definitely another piece of the puzzle.

    I personally dial back texting when I am losing interest and find the same to be nearly always true for everyone I know. In a set relationship, texting loses importance in quantity of texts but gains it in the quality of them.

    In a large part, I truly think sustained changes in texting habits (used to text 5 times a day, dropped down to 1 every two days with no real reason given) is a barometer for where a relationship might be headed. It is true someone may be busy, but who can honestly say they don't have 10 free seconds in a day to at least text someone and say so?

    Rather than freaking, though, communication is key. "Hey, is everything ok? Are WE ok?" is better than driving yourself insane or wasting time on someone who isn't interested in you. Trust your gut; usually the drop in texting isn't the only clue and you suspect something is wrong before you notice the texting changes.

    Rules are stupid and immature, though. You like him/her? Text them. They don't respond? Two tries max, then move on.

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  • lol no. It's not fair to base an entire relationship on how quickly your boyfriend gets back to you via text, how often he texts you, etc..
    If you're asking if you should break up with who you're with over something as petty as that, I guess that's a huge red flag that your relationship overall must be complete shit.

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  • In this day and age, texting is a part of most (younger especially) relationships. I think it's actually fine to analyze your partner's texting skills/habits as long as you don't go totally overboard. It's a form of communication so it's only natural to make it a part of your relationship, even though it's more of a modern thing. And it's only natural to feel ignored and hurt if your partner takes a long time to text you back, or reads your messages without responding etc. It would be like trying to talk to a person face to face, and they just blankly stare at you and don't even respond. A bit exaggerated but, still, it's ok to feel a little upset (as long as you actually know they aren't busy or having any technical problems obviously, otherwise you're just paranoid and high-maintenance).

    So anyway, I think it's fair to judge a relationship A LITTLE BIT in terms of texting. Like I said it has become a very common form of communication so obviously a lot of people's relationships will incorporate it, and therefore also make it something to be judged on. However I think a lot of people overreact and over analyze texting at the end of the day. Everything should definitely NOT hinge on texting. But still, a lot of things can be said about a person's texting habits, especially if they suddenly change drastically. Like, if before, your partner was fine with texting a little throughout the day every now and then, but suddenly just stop. And don't respond to any messages, or even calls. That could be considered suspicious behavior, and I think it's completely acceptable to analyze that kind of behavior in texting.

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  • It just "shows" that you're on their mind and want to talk to them. My ex husband would never text me. He'd read my texts but rarely reply. I never felt like he missed me or I was on his mind. My fiancĂ© and I text constantly when we aren't together and have since the moment we met. Literally. Our relationship is rock solid and we hate being apart.

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  • I've seen too many people over 18 here post questions like that. How about calling it, "I HAVE A LIFE OUTSIDE OF YOU"? Seriously, some people need to get shit done when they're not with you. Like spending time with other friends and family or just lemme read a few chapters of a good book!

    When I stay at my mum's place for a couple of nights, my boyfriend already knows what's up: I'm going to eat like a pig, chill with my family, and play League at night. If he wants to talk to me, he will text me and go about his day til I have time to respond. Granted if I take more than 30 minutes, he might text again, 'cuz he worries, but then so would I! If he really NEEDS me, though, he will call me.

    Simplicity at its finest! "Omg! He hasn't resonded to me in 5 whole minutes, he must be texting some other gir--" Shut THE fuck up! He's busy, dammit! Wait!!!

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    • Yes... my thoughts exactly!

  • I don't have a mobile. I don't have one on principle. ( better quality of life). No stressing here about texts! 😀

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    • 😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁

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    • Just finding the humor in it... smiley faces...

    • I don't see a problem in trying to retrieve something that is worth over $200. You also act like teenagers are the problem, when my dad is on his phone at all times, wether it be driving, going out to eat or just socializing with the family.

  • I have no idea but i belive when you met someone who is right for you your so comftable with them you know theu love you no matte how long it takes to text back

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  • I don't. Sounds ridiculous.

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  • Worrying about someone not answering is understandable, but using it to judge the status of your relationship with them isn't! I agree with the examples you brought up! :)

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  • When it's already stable relationship you have confidence in it, so you're not left wondering,
    But, when when you've just started talking to someone it can be confusing on how they feel. I use to second guess forming relationships very often due to texting fluxes. After talking to different guys I realize that's never the way to go.

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  • It's not fair to judge it by texting alone, but how often they try to get in touch with you or try to talk to you generally does show how interested they are in you. Like if I was getting serious with someone, I'd like to know if they suddenly couldn't text me back. Give me a call with your home phone, contact me online, just let me know something.

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  • They got no hobbies or a life other than owning a phone.

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  • I'll admit I'm almost 23 and yeah it bothers me when a guy takes hours to text back. I just feel like if a guy really liked me/a girl he'd message back in a timely manner. And I get guys have other things to do and have a life, but when he's chatting on fb or making posts online thats when I get upset.

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  • Lol what a silly reason! I bet they're all in high school or even younger

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  • Because usually these people are still being active online and yet your still waiting for them to reply. If your someone with a problem with ur internet or something tell them that and they won't feel ignored but honestly a lot of the time it is people being ignored , it's happened to me I just try to move on

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  • they do? I haven't

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    • That's great! However, don't you see all of the questions on GAG about why some guy didn't text back... or took so long to text... or what does it mean if he doesn't text right away, etc?

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    • Yes... all based on texting behavior...

    • it does sound silly, bu that would be why.

  • The time it takes a guy to respond to a text is never something I'd dump them for, but I'm guilty of being the kind of person that can sometimes get bothered by delayed responses, depending on the time and conversation that is.

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  • Was it necessary to add the mostly girls part?

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    • But yeh, most people are to focused on virtual relationships rather than REAL LIFE realationships.

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    • Hmm, ohkay, I guess I see your point.

    • On another note, since @ixi10 blocked me so that I couldn't respond (probably because she cannot defend her argument). I'd like to add the following:
      So by asking a question I've proven your point? Mhm, sure that makes sense, you keep acting like you're better because your older. Speaks volumes about your character! ☺

  • No, it's not fair. I used to rarely text my best friend back but we still had this great bond. I rarely text with my boyfriend because I'm with him a lot anyways. I guess it depends on your relationship. If it's long distance it might matter more, or maybe when people are still in high school since you have free time.

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  • No I forget to charge my phone a lot and sometimes lose it so if the "texting a ton makes the perfect relationship" thing is real... well then I'm fucked

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  • Dude I was wondering the same thing!

    It's so juvenile & yes most of the questions are from females. I don't understand it either.

    s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/.../...9b9a078fa0.jpg

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  • What about the guy or girl not interested anymore in texting

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  • i think the whole texting thing shows how interested and stuff the other person is. when they don't get a text back it can't be helped that the idea of the other person being uninterested pops up into the person's head. Plus the more people text/communicate the closer they tend to be, i would think.

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  • Becuase they have grown up in an age of technology. I personally don't judge it on that. I judge it on atual interaction, Texting is great and even I would wonder if there was something up if I got less than I am used to in a relationship. But I wouldn't judge the relationship by that alone. It's about how things are when you are actually together and I expect phone calls to.
    The digital age sucks really and I feel bad for the people who have grown up in the digital era.
    For me and my friends it was ring the person if you were aloud to use the landline then meet up. Or it would be going to 'call for' someone by literraly just turning up at their door. Or you would arrange a time and day to meet them next and just assume you would be not texting to check.

    It's sad now how things are arranged on facebook or through text. People don't just turn up on doorsteps as much anymore.

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What Guys Said 15

  • What about if everybody stopped texting and actually called and talked to each other? Or Skyped? Then they'd have a real relationship. . . and they would need to deal with real emotions and real problems.

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  • It's definitely not because people act differently over text. I'm closed a lot in person and over text I am a lot more open. Plus I am very sarcastic so people can get the wrong idea over text. Texting itself does not indicate the strength of a relationship. I just broke up with my girlfriend of 2 years and we texted ALL the time (too much in my opinion). Texting nonstop is one of the things that killed our great relationship bease it made it boring and she was clingy. In the end I was actually revolted by her.

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  • The real question that is always on our minds is: are they into me? So we ask this question and observe like scientist for change and signs to read. Texting is sometimes the only channel for connection, so it isn't that strange that people ask a lot about texting since it is so popular to use to get to know each other. Fifty years ago it was letters, twenty it was phone calls, ten it was e-mail, now it's texts. The written emotions of people is how we connect so reading into texts is in our nature. Don't put everything in texts, but some people have no other options to see if the one they like likes them back.
    As for paying the bill, technical problems, or any other mishaps that seem to go on during texting, if they're into you, they won't freak out beyond the point of waiting for your next text. After all, if they're texting you, they are most certainly texting someone else

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  • I don't understand, but it's wrong in my view. Moreover, that's not even a reason.

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  • It sure seems like it, doesn't it. Unfortunately many people base their relationships on the emotions and feelings they get from sex, rather than a true knowledge and empathy for the other person. For those people, yes, texting can make or break a relationship.

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  • 5 love languages:

    1) words of affirmation<------texting
    2) Physical Touch
    3) Quality time <--------texting
    4) gifts
    5) service

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  • insecure women want their communication valued. Texting, letter, calls, whatever. They don't want to be ignored. Find a women who believes in herself and you'll be the one wondering why she doesn't reply to you.

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  • It's really not but with today's society and how it's so fucked up, it's pretty much how it's gonna be. People feel like if you're not texting them, that relationship is over. If you have people like you hang around with, cut them from your circle asap.

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  • i think it breaks down to lack of independent traits

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  • 21st Century. THat's why.

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  • I'm not from the 'text generation'. I like to talk. That way you can see and/or hear their tone.

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  • I could see them judging how often a couple talks as a way of gauging how well they're communicating with one another, and communication.
    I'd say texting itself isn't key, but how well a couple can communicate, and talk things over, whether it's a disagreement, about their sex life, or whatever.

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  • No, I don't thinking you have to text each other every nor should that be the deciding factor. Now how often you see each other and how string the connection would be more of decision factor.

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  • I think it is much more of a girl problem than a guy, especially on GAG. I almost never see guys complaining about too little texting..

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  • Women are stupid, I don't know what to tell you.

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