Would you date a divorced man or divorced woman?

Is there a social stigma placed on divorcees?

Updates:
A divorcee without kids.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • There is one I work with, that just got divorced from her third, with a child from each, and I know HER, and I like who she is, as a person! Maybe she made some bad choices, some mistakes. Who hasn't? She's a wonderful mother to all three, and dealing with the custody and who has whom, when? She's a Multi-tasker and I know she will find time for 'US' even with the kids!!
    How can I judge her, not knowing what she has lived? She's not 'Damaged Goods' but someone that needs to know what an honorable, good guy can be!

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I am dating someone who divorced at 28. He was 31 when I met him. I never thought I would do this but I did. Nothing really different about dating someone divorced

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What Guys Said 31

  • At my age, a woman is either divorced or widowed. At least if she's divorced, I don't wonder if she's one of those women who killed her husband.

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  • For me, no I wouldn't. The reason is because I don't know why they broke up and wouldn't have any way of knowing the truth. To me, knowing why they broke up is extremely important. My thought is, "What was so bad that caused them to break up? Was it something just as silly as him not putting down the toilet seat after her telling him for the 100th time, or was she cheating on him or something that I should be concerned about?" The problem, though, is that there is no way of knowing for sure what happened. If I asked her and her ex husband what happened, they'd both give me a version of the story that made themselves look good, so I'd never get the truth. To me, I'd rather just avoid that type of confusion entirely. Also, in relationships, I don't get back with someone after they've broken up with me. To me, if a woman is willing to break up with me once, then when things actually get tough, who's to say she won't leave me when we have three kids or something and breaking up isn't as "easy?" So, for me, I'd rather just avoid it because I value honesty and trust so highly. Largely because I am very honest and trustworthy, myself, and look for someone who is the same, in that respect. If they're widowed or something, however, (even with kids) I'd be more up for it and, if I really liked her, I may even consider marrying her. But divorced just, to me, comes off as a red-flag. That's more just my own personal choice, though. I'm sure there are a lot of amazing but divorced women that left guys who were really terrible to them even though the women were fantastic and would be awesome wives, but, to me, I have no way of knowing which is which and it's just not worth the risk involved for me, personally.

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    • I understand your reasons, but don't they also apply for girls who've been in relationships before and it didn't work out? You have no way of knowing if they just walked out over a silly fight or if it was something serious. Does that mean you also only date women who have never been in relationships before?

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    • not everybody gets divorced due to petty stuff.

    • @tenofthepeaks: That's why I mentioned that.

  • Yes I would as long as she's not carrying emotional baggage on which she's fixated. If there are fears then I'd put them to rest by words and actions. However, if she's insistent on comparing everything to her ex (es) the moment a similar situation arises then even if not intended she'll manage to steer it the way it went down last time with her :)

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  • I was a divorcee with custody of a child, I dated and married a divorcee with 2 children of her own. We have been happily married for 9 years this June.
    People may speak of stigma surrounding divorce, it's not something that I ever experienced.

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  • I would date a divorced woman. I'd maybe marry one, but with a prenup.

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  • I can't afford to be picky because of a divorce ;-)

    Jokes aside, the circumstances are more important factors than the divorce itself.
    I would never consider someone vindictive.

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  • Yeah. There are plenty of reasons why she could have that divorced to begin, so it's worth knowing or trying out at least

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  • Depends on why she got divorced. If it was her fault, then no I would not date her. If it was her husband's fault, then I would only date her if her ex-husband is out of her life for good.

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  • Here is how I see it. You're teaching two different people how to bake a cake. One of them gets it right the first time, the other one takes four times to get it right and then they make it shaped like a penis with rainbows on it. Now which one of them would you hire for your Christian bakery?

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    • You own a Christian bakery?

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    • So your answer is yes if they are divorced once or twice?

    • If I was single maybe but I am married. :)

  • I don't believe in marriage in the first place so it wouldn't affect my judgement at all.

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  • Why would it matter if they were married?

    I am divorced and it's not like i am any different than i was when i wasn't married.

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    • It seems it matters more to men than to women, so you're good.

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    • I'm dating a divorced dad and it's the best thing ever.

    • @oldlady

      That's awesome! :D

  • I really don't know depends on the situation

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  • a divorced woman

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  • Yes I would date a divorced women

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  • Yes if I loved her

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  • I would date a divorced woman.

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  • I would so I don't think there is

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  • yes. social stigma? not really.

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  • yeah sure why not, I kind of had a thing with a woman who was separated

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  • Service to them will be service to God

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  • I would date her.

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  • if i knew her and why she got the divorce, yeah, depending on the reason of divorce

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  • That stigma exists, but luckily it is more and more going away.

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  • not yet. :D

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  • another man's trash is another man's... trash. why should i? u looking for fools?

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  • When I'm older sure!

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  • Used up trash. I wouldn't date one.

    Hell, look at divorce stats. They're second marriage is even LESS likely to survive than their first!

    They're broken and should be discarded, end of story, kids or not.

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  • if i think she is attractive , yes , already did that before anyway , first girlfriend

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    • That's sweet to hear :)

  • Date, no. Have causal sex here and there, probably

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    • Why not?

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    • Don't single people have emotional baggage from their ex boyfriends and ex girlfriends too?

    • no, not like this. unless you view marriage as a joke, then yes, it has the same ramifications.

  • At my age? No I would not. thought I am sure once I got into my 40s it would be fine.

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    • Even if you weren't divorced yourself?

    • If I was unmarried by 40ish, ya I would have no problem, but up to say 35, I think I would prefer it be our first marriage together.

    • This is understandable.

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What Girls Said 10

  • I'm divorced myself, so I'd be a hypocrite if I wouldn't date another divorcee. Besides, at my age, people who have never been married often have reasons why (e. g. they aren't in it for a long-term commitment). The marriage-minded men are mostly the ones who tried marriage and just didn't give up when the first attempt went sour.

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    • considering 50% of people in many countries are divorced, and often get divorced for good reasons, doesn't make sense to exclude them.

  • I think I would. It really depends. If the person had some intense baggage from their first marriage, then no. I definitely want to get married and have kids and I wouldn't be able to be with a person who has intense baggage, whether married previously or not. But if I met a guy and we got along and it was going really well, yes I would.

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  • yeah? I'd much, much rather date someone who's divorced over someone who's actually married but just not telling me!

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  • If he doesn't have kids yes I would date him. Unfortunately there is a social stigma attached to them. People are stupid sometimes.

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  • probablyprobably

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  • Yes and even if he had kids I wouldn't rule him out.

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  • Yeah its whatever.

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    • Marvelous.

    • Just because they got a divorce doesn't mean they are a unpleasant person. Anyone can be nasty or have major issues.

      I also wouldn't turn anyway a single parent. Yeah I'm not into kids much but I could miss out on something nice.

    • Very well said.

  • I prefer not to, but at my age I wouldn't be surprised if I ended up dating one

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  • So long as he didn't have kids

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  • Probably not. Too many differences.

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