Why are people obsessed with the exes of people they like?

I've been guilty of this before, I may have semi frequently Facebook stalked my crush's ex girlfriend.
I don't know about guys, but plenty of girls I know have though/worried about, 'investigated' online or basically been curious or even obsessed with a boyfriend or guy they like's ex girlfriend.
I get sometimes they might be seen as a threat, but it happens even if they're not at all.
Like someone told me my ex's new girlfriend stalks my Instagram and asks people about me lol
Any idea why this happens? I'm curious


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I have never done this. It's weakness, you shouldn't need to investigate anything about their ex. Your the person they are with now. You shouldn't have to compete with them because if you know the type of person you are and know your a good catch you shouldn't have to do all that.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • As I have grown to like my boyfriend more, I have become more jealous as well. But I recognize those feelings for what they are and try not to thinl of it, which I actually succeed in lol. Im not the jealous type. Just really am into my boyfriend. Because he makes me feel appreciated and has no problem answering questions about exes when I ask them, I dont feel insecure enough to do that. I know my boyfriend is more into me than he has been into his exes. Cool for me lol. It would b terrible otherwise. When I fall, I fall hard. I would expect the same from him. Its all or nothing at all for me.

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What Guys Said 8

  • All I can figure is its part of an insecurity that they are trying to compensate for or overcome

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  • Well cause they are afraid they won't meet a new person, this happens with lot of us

    who break up.

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  • Never had a girlfriend so never had an ex!

    Its so great not to have to deal with all that drama and fb stalking, and yet its kind of depressing too since it seems like an amazing thing that I probably won't experience.

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  • They want to see the competition

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  • They compare themselves with the other's ex's. My girlfriend asks me about my ex's, which makes me feel uncomfortable. She is trying to see how she measures up to her and is concerned I loved the last one more.

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  • its the post-relationship war of regret, happens to nearly everyone that had feelings for eachother

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  • As a guy I get super jealous and wary of exes or even her friends of the opposite sex. Like ideally my girlfriend would be a virgin and have only female friends lol... a guy can dream.

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  • Might be jealousy, might be seen as a threat.
    I know I did it with my girlfriend's ex, just to see what kind of guy she was with before me after hearing about him from her.
    I'll hear things about him from other friends now and then, and I don't care enough to waste my own time following his pages.

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What Girls Said 8

  • Insecurity... you want to check them out and find their flaws so you can feel like you're better than them... unfortunately, this usually backfires because peoples' social media is their best face and you don't generally see their flaws on there, you only see the public image they're trying to project... so you end up feeling more insecure because if that perfect gorgeous chick wasn't good enough for him, why would your troll ass be? (I'm not meaning YOU in particular, but you in general).

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  • Curiosity? When you like someone, you want to know everything about that person... including who they've dated before, so I guess it's natural enough to want to know what has come before you, what they were like and see how you compare.

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  • They're immediate competition. If you're nothing like their ex, then they may not like you or if their ex is attractive, why would they want to date you? That's the mindset. It's mainly insecure people who worry about this.

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  • I think people see exes as some sort of competition, so they want to know what they look like, what they are like, etc to try and get on "their level" if they feel like they were better than them. It's inevitable to most people, exes will always pose a threat, especially to people with insecurities.

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  • it is hard to let go for them.. that's why they do it.. they should not waste their time and move on

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  • because he was just banging her, so i will be compared to her from head to toe.

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  • If I'm his new girl why would I be worrying about his old one.

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  • I have done this and I have no idea why

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