The Delilah of friendship or just In love?

So this is what happened. I have been single for the past year and I made two amazing new friends (they are best friends). We went out one night and the one girl confessed to me that she has her eye on this really cute guy. She showed me pictures , but Knowing her I knew she crushed on guys often, and she never mentioned him again. Forward two months, And this guy started messaging me. I never thought in a million years there would be any attraction as I am extremely career driven and generally do not think of dating. We had coffee , went on five dates and I am effectively in love, as is he. I expressed my concern to him that she might be upset and that I wanted to wait until she came back from her Europe trip to tell her in person... unfortunately life doesn't work out like that and now I have both friends equally furious with me. I tried explaining to her I just wanted to tell her in person as it is the right way to handle such situations, but instead I got a backlash of hate and disgust. I never knew she was that in to him as she never spoke about him, and he did tell her he was not interested. (As she told me this way before he started talking to me and he told me this on the first date as it was a concern) Is it selfish of me to feel that she should allow us to be happy , and preventing me and him to be together wouldn't bring any happiness to her life anyway? How do I handle this? I am really saddened by losing my friend , But I truly see a future with this guy. I don't want to lose either of them. How do I make her see that this was not intentional? that I do love her as my friend very much?


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What Guys Said 1

  • It may not have been intentional, but if you thought about it (and you undoubtedly did) you could foresee that this would occur. The hurt and betrayal that your friend feels is no different that ha she would feel if you were dating her ex. I know that you will say this is not rational but that is not the nature of feelings; emotions are not rational, but they are very real, and your friend is hurt. . . and you knew this could happen. Breaking up with Mr. Right now (which I know you don't want to do) would solve nothing.

    You will lose a friend. You should be able to continue dating Mr. Right and I hope that works out well for you. Take responsibility for what you did to your friend so that you will learn a lesson and become a better person for having had the experience.

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