Met a great gal and started casually dating for a couple months. Things got serious and she let slip that she's 26 year old virgin due to her religious beliefs and she wants to wait till marriage because she feels it'll shame her conscious. I'm 28 and told her that I won't dare date a girl long term if there's no sexual activity and intimacy. She said she wasn't willing to do anything sexual so I'm at odds. During our dates, things would get hot and heavy and she would end up naked on top of me grinding away, but then shut down altogether if there was anymore and I got frustrated.
i called off the dating because of the teasing and told her I didn't want to get more emotionally invested if my girlfriend teased me, yet rejected me 24/7 because of beliefs. A week later out of the blue she called me asking if we couldn't compromise and we talked a bit. I started seeing her again to see if the attraction/feelings was still there, but still weary because of that exact issue. We've been dating again and I've gave her multiple orgasms through oral and fingers, but she keeps telling me she's not comfortable doing it to me. I feel really frustrated and have told her this again. I don't want to break it off because of this, but I think sex is a huge factor and brings closeness for me into the relationship.
I truly have feelings for her but it feels like I'm digging my grave. At my age sex is a norm in any healthy relationship and I can't go 65% of the way and cut off the rest of my urge. She blue balls me every time :-(
Most Helpful Girl
okay, first of all right now, YOU are being the jerk. She is clearly not comfortable with you or anybody sexually interacting with her. If you really love her you would wait a thousand years untill she is ready. And if you really loved her you would respect her decisions and not matter if you werent or were sexually active. If sex is all you care about, clearly she is too good for you, she knows that she can love someone without having sex. Obviously she can live without having sex, and still love you. She knows that closeness doesn't only revolve around sex. And you may say that its different with guys and girls , and it sort of is. The only difference is that girls have more self control than guys do.1
Most Helpful Guy
This sort of question makes less and less sense as I get older. Was married for a dozen years, then divorced, then met and have been with a great partner for upwards of a decade. We're not married and have no plans to. I have little urge to go through that again, ans she really doesn't want to -- in no small part because her home culture is so insistent that a woman is nothing without a man (I've met people from her home town; where old men will ask a husband about the wife in the third person while she's standing there... ugh). Better to avoid that whole mess. Are we waiting for marriage to have sex? Don't be daft.
I can only assume the asker's girlfriend regards virginity as having some intrinsic value before marriage. Nope. It is what it is: inexperience, innocence, and ignorance. True love does not somehow replace self-knowledge, and getting married to someone with no idea if you're even capable of providing for each other is profoundly stupid. Only zealots and idiots would marry a virgin.0