The girl I'm dating is damaged and says she needs time to fix herself before she worries about me?

I started dating this girl 3 months after she got out of a 3 year relationship. We hit it off great and had a lot of fun together. We went on vacation together and also made a few trips to theme parks and hiking trips. We were hanging out for about 3 months and I could tell sometimes she wasn't always all there. Just recently she told me she had spoken to her father and he told her she doesn't seem herself. He told her in his honest opinion he thinks she is broken still from her past relationship and needs to fix herself before she worries about committing to me. She said she needs time away from me to realize her feelings for me and see if she misses me. She told me it is a hard decision for her to make and even asked me my opinion on it. I told her to take the time she needs and to contact me when she figures it out. She then deleted her Facebook and we removed each other from all other social media so she didn't have reminders of me. Do I still have a chance with her or is she cutting me out of her life for good? Should I give up? How long should I wait to hear from her before I completely write her off?


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What Girls Said 1

  • I don't think she is cutting you out for good. I do believe that she genuinely needs some time and place to figure things out for herself. Just three months are generally not enough to digest the end of a relationship and start a new one; especially if it was a three year relationship.

    Try to give her time time and space and most importantly, try not to go too crazy during this time. There really isn't much you can do right now. I'm sure she'll be in touch eventually.

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    • Do you think there is a certain amount of time that I should reach out to her if she doesn't reach out to me?

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    • From the way you described her, she doesn't sound like the kind of person who would entirely disappear. I am sure she will be in touch when she's ready. It's difficult because I don't want to say "message her after 3 months" because these deadlines aren't good in my opinion. But I do think that if she doesn't get back to you at all, you can contact her. I don't doubt that she was very happy with you & had a great time, but I guess eventually that failed relationship hit her. Not because she's not over him, but because people need time to process these things. So she is asking for that time now. You should look at it from this perspective: the fact she's taking this time-out now means that the chances she'll be ready to be with you are bigger.
      As for her cutting you out completely for now: everyone handles things differently. Maybe she knows that if she has the means to contact/see see you she'll get weak. But she also knows she needs to take the time-out, so she removes the temptation

    • I hope everything you're saying is true! It's at least helping ease the shitty feeling I have at the moment. I really do believe her when she said she likes me and cares about me, so I hope she decides to talk to me at some point, I feel I deserve that much

What Guys Said 1

  • Break ups are tough! And not always does the person we end up with after our horrible break up keep us so engaged in the new realities hip that our minds focus on what's new over the past. Not a shot at you or anything mate, apologies if it comes off so. You're actually a good lad to give her this time to be to herself to figure out "what next" or if she's healed enough from the emotional scar that break ups leave. It's tough to be in your position though if you really like her, because in this time apart it can go the other way, and she finds herself not "missing you" or thinking it's not worth picking back up. or some other guy might not be so kind as to let her have this time alone and constantly do things to grab her attention and keep it, Ya know. I think you should play it by what you know about her for one. And then there's also a such thing as emotional momentum. As cool as it is to be the gentleman here and that's what I'm all about, sometimes all becomes fair in love and war and you got to keep her thinking about you. Send some flowers or go old school with a letter. Balloons attached to chocolate. Blimp in the sky, hey you can't control that they fly those things an happen to have, " I'm waiting for your To get that feeling once again, reunited in the end" -trapt, attach to a banner.(jk) (bad one). But it's not to late mate. People delete things from they're life they find to hard and painful to think about ( usually) so id say you mean something to her. Don't give up if she's worth it :)

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    • Do you think there is a certain amount of time I should let go by before I try to reach out to her if she doesn't reach out to me?

    • Hm, well this seems to really be bothering you. It's left you in a tither of confusion, and it's no fun constantly wondering what you should and shouldn't do. Contact her tmrw. Think about what it is you want to say today, why you want her to be with you, what you would offer and not do that her last guy maybe did (if you know details). Otherwise, there's isn't a set time, but just when you've had enough of the emotional torture that comes with waiting in confusion, then you hit her up.

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