Girls, Does a single instance of insecurity make a man undesirable?

If you check my other questions, it's clear I'm concerned a lot about my romantic prospects, or lackthereof. But recently I've been wondering something else about this. I have been tossing around the idea of starting to work out so I don't look like a 4/10 blob, but wondering if I'm doomed regardless
Basically, I have had anxiety and occasional depression for as long as I can remember and while I am getting help with meds and support I still have episodes every now and then and i know they will never go away completely. And literally everything I've seen and heard on and offline says that women DESPISE insecurity. Like any sign of not having total confidence is repulsive to them. So my concern is that even if I got in shape, found an effective way to clear my face up, and got overy my approach anxiety, it wouldn't matter because the second a girl I was getting close to saw one of my episodes of depression, anxiety, and self doubt, which would inevitably happen, she would run like hell because I showed insecurity. This would mean I'd be doomed to never find a girl who was attracted to me and willing to give me a chance.
So my question is, am I over thinking this, or am I figuratively and never literally screwed?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I don't think it's repulsive for men to show weakness, it's human. And a woman that runs the other way isn't worth it, especially if she relies on you for emotional support. This double standard in society I hate because men have emotions too and they shouldn't be expected to hide them "because it's weak". And they shouldn't be expected to deal with someone else's emotional burdens on top of that. So I don't think that you being a human being with feelings and needing some extra support because you're trying to overcome depression and anxiety shouldn't be a an issue. The woman you want to keep will stay by your side, and give you love and support; and the rest don't matter

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What Girls Said 7

  • ... no.

    insecurity makes u human. i wanna date a human as long as he ain't drowning in insecurity and willingly deciding to sink.

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  • I think it's largely true that women despise insecurity, but that's not the same as saying they can't fall for a guy who has moments of insecurity. I think some of us really still think there are strong silent types out there who really don't feel anything, and there are some men who are willing to play that part to match those women. But many of us (I'd bet it's most) actually value vulnerability and almost all of us would say we value honesty. So keep working on your social anxiety and hold out for a woman who will like you as you are.

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  • No, men are allowed to be human and have insecurities too.

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  • Definitely overthinking this out of proportion. It's normal to have insecurities, everyone has them. No one is perfect. As long as you want to be a better you, I wouldn't be worried.

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  • No a single instance of insecurity does not make a man undesirable. Everyone has insecurities some people are just a lot better at hiding them. And you're not doomed because if a girl really liked you she would try to help you overcome those insecurities and encourage you to just be yourself.

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  • You'll drag the girl down unless she is a lot like you too.

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  • I have anxiety and depression too and I understand your stress. And the whole despising insecurity is bullshit, that doesn't speak for every woman. There are a lot of girls, like me, who are fine with the whole insecurity thing because it just means you're human. Just keep looking, love, you'll find the right one.

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