Guys, Is this code for "I'm just not into you?

This guy and I have been talking for almost a year online. We met up once and cuddled a bit/kissed briefly. He said he loved spending time with me. Now it's months later and we still haven't made plans to see eachother again, yet we talk daily. He told me that he is sort of stand offish from his past relationship, and also that he gets attached too easily, when I asked him about why things haven't progressed... But he did say he is interested in spending time with me and is attracted to me. I have a good number of guys hitting on me, which he knows about, and I also went on a date recently with a guy who is serious about me. Is he possibly too scared to make the move to go out again because the fear of attachment and competition of other guys? ... Or is he giving excuses for what really means "I just don't like you as much as I led on/you think"?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Could be fear, could be intimidation, could be he has another girl, could be lots of things.

    It's good that you're exploring other opportunities because his behavior sounds sort of unreliable and immature. He may genuinely like you, but if so then he just doesn't like you enough to actually spend time in person with you more than once, which is unfortunate. You deserve, and certainly can find, better. Good luck. :)

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What Guys Said 3

  • you have known him for one whole year... meet once within that year but u should be able to tell if he is a nice guy or just a really shy and timid guy. i think he may be a shy one considering guys will really want to meet a girl they met online in person as soon as possible to know if they gonna continue pushing on, and he took his time in meeting you, and there is the fact that he shared a kiss and cuddled with you and retreated to hiding (no sex)... maybe he is freaked out, maybe he wasn't expecting things to go that smoothly and now is scared. if he gets attached to you now, knowing you have other suitors he might get hurt which no one wants. simple answer, talk to him about it, only he knows what he wants, definitely not us, unless he is a regular here. lol! talk to him.

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  • You're messing with other guys, I couldn't accept that. Just let him go.

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  • To me it's either 2 things, which kind of both tie into each other. He is either afraid or intimidated. Probably afraid to get attached again because he knows from past experience with his relationships how that turns out, or he knows that you have other guys who want you, and that you still have options. You really haven't focused yourself to him directly in return, so he is probably scared to take a chance because he knows that you can probably just easily choose another one of those guys if he tries to open up to you.

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