Tonight the fivth guy I dated in the last six months told me that he only wants to have a friends with benefits relationship with me. They seem to have a really good time when they are with me. I guess they could be pretending to get in my pants but they take me out on many dates. I only had sex with one of them before he asked me to be his friends with benefits. I am properly dressed and not exposed in all my social media pictures. What am I doing wrong? Is it because I am boring, ugly or just bad luck? Why would you tell that to a girl who has never had sex with you?
Most Helpful Guy
You're 25, so I assuming you're dating guys in their mid-to-late 20s. While you'll find some guys in that age range being more mature than average and more interested in a relationship, the majority are still in the "having a good time" and not ready to "settle down" period of their lives. The more attractive and confident they are, the more true this is, by the way.
I would say that there is nothing wrong with you, but *something* is wrong with you - probably just not what you imagine. Essentially, you are "shopping in the wrong store" - the kinds of guys you are trying to get with aren't the ones likely to want a relationship, and so you are failing for the same reason you'd fail if you were trying to find a high-end designer dress in Walmart.
"Relationship guys" tend to be less outgoing, and less social, so you tend not to meet those guys at bars, clubs, parties, etc. - they tend to stay home. The guys you are more likely to meet, and find exciting and attractive, are the same guys who use their attractiveness to allow them to sleep around. They don't want to be tied down to one girl when they can have sex with several, and not have to "date" any of them - which means they don't have to pay for dates, go to events they don't care about, or meet parents and families - they are getting laid, but are still FREE.
The "relationship guys" you'd probably find boring and plain, and for that reason, they don't get girls easily, but that's what makes them value a relationship with a girl a whole lot more.
The other thing is: you have to properly advertise yourself too. That means you have to make it clear, from Day 1 with any new guy, that you are a "relationship girl" and that, while you love sex, you never, EVER have sex outside of an official committed relationship. Yes, of COURSE that means that as soon as you make that clear, many guys are going to almost instantly lose interest in you. You have to be okay with that, no matter how attracted to him you might be. The guys who are still interested are FAR more likely to be interested in a relationship and much less likely to try to friends with benefits you.
If you come across as a person for whom friends with benefits would be acceptable, you're much more likely to have guys treat you that way.
Bottom line: you need to be looking at either older guys (in their 30s, etc.) who are more ready for something serious, or at the less exciting/attractive guys your age who will value a relationship.16
Most Helpful Girl
A guy who claims "I only want FWB" is the guy who wants to continue to have a great sex life, while he's looking for the right girl he wants a relationship with. He basically wants to use you for the sex and company, but not have the commitment so he can continue to look out for other girls who he wants to have a full-on relationship with.
Look. Don't waste your time and give up the best parts of you, to a guy who is treating you like his OPTION instead of his priority. I certainly wouldn't settle for anything less then a man who treated me like a queen! No guy deserves my amazing pussy if he's just using it while he's scouting out his future wife!!!6
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