I've lost all hope in trying with girls?

I don't get it, they never seem to like me. I can never seem to meet that many despite being very sociable and of the ones that I do meet their is never a mutual attraction, usually from their end. I don't get it, I'm apparently quite good looking (facially) and I'm a nice person. I'm kind, I'm funny, I'm caring and I'm not a push-over. I have never bought into all this bad-boy nonsense which perpetuates areas of this website and I doubt it is anything to do with that.
I'm thin, it is probably to do with that as girls prefer muscular guys which I'm not and I won't be unless I live in a gym. People then say, 'oh it's nothing to do with that' but I then don't know what it is.
I really don't see any point in trying, things never seem to work out for me and I just think the first step towards failure in this situation is trying. I've asked a few friends and they said they don't know, they say all the nonsense of 'you'll meet someone someday blah blah blah' but I don't see what will change as nothing has worked so far. If I also don't know what the problem is then I don't see any point in trying until I find out the problem.

Updates:
Sorry if I sound a bit annoyed, I'm just a bit upset.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • But what if the problem is dumb luck? What if only 1 in 10 girls is going to be interested in you and of the 1000 women you've gotten to know in your life so far, all the ones you happened to ask out were part of the other 900?
    Anyway, if you're ready to give up, maybe you should just focus your energy on becoming the person you most want to be. If, at some point in the future, you find that you want to try dating again, you'll be an even better catch.
    I don't really know what I'm talking about - I know men get stuck with the approach most of the time and that makes you all intensely aware of the rejection. But after my divorce I was so wounded I swore I'd never date again - why put myself through more heartbreak. I continued wearing my ring for years, just to guarantee that no decent men would ask me out. And then one day it just hit me that this guy I saw on a daily basis was attracted to me and I was attracted to him, too, and I was back in. It was genuinely that involuntary. He broke my heart, too, but it was worth it because returning to the dating pool meant that now I'm dating a guy who is better than I could possibly deserve. This took eight agonizing years, but it leaves me agreeing with your "you'll meet someone someday" friends. Wishing you the best.

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    • I hope it's shit luck. I don't meet enough girls which probably sounds like the obvious problem but most of my friends are guys and not many are girls. I've asked best female friend to introduce me to her friends but she doesn't really know many other people at Uni, and most are guys. The girls that are in my friendship group I'm not interested in/they are not interested in me/are seeing someone else.
      I don't want to give up but I feel that if I stop having hope it'll be less painful and upsetting.

What Girls Said 2

  • I know how you feel.

    If you are as you described then by rights the girls should be swarming around you... but...

    I would definitely go to the gym because whatever people say - most women like an athletic man (not overly muscular but not thin either). Just so you look good in a polo shirt with nice defined slightly muscular arms. Don't go crazy just bulk up a little bit so you are not thin.

    If the girls aren't looking at you differently after you bulking up slightly... I will eat those nasty protein bars you guys eat when you want to bulk up.. seriously.

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    • Sorry I have a total thing for men's arms when they wear polo shirts. Don't be upset. Us girls have it tough too. I mean everyone tells me I am attractive but no one ever asks me out!

    • It's alright haha. Maybe guys are intimidated by you? They find you attractive and are scared to ask you out.

    • Sounds about right but it doesn't really help. I mean how do you get to my age and not get asked out by another attractive person? I've had guys kind of hit on me but no one I've found attractive :-(

      Good luck - remember arms are the key to a girl's heart (well this one anyway).

  • If your thin.. Rock the hipster look and get a man bun. Stand tall. Don't take anything to seriously. Be confident and funny. And be inappropriately forward with compliments to girls, then walk away and watch them come back for more. Report back, I want to say I told you so and you're welcome!

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    • I'll try all that except the man bun haha, I can't stand that hairstyle sorry :D

What Guys Said 6

  • Im going through this aswell.
    I've been having problems with girls because i've been trying to much.
    Dude know this. Dont chase people. Live your life, do your thing and work hard. The people who really belong in your life will come to you and stay.
    That's what I've learnt from all of these things.

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    • Very wise advice from a very young head :-)

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    • but I will take in what you say

    • Thank you @marnia999 😊
      But not that young 🙊🙈😜

  • Mhmmmmm so here's and accurate solution, get your life straight, get a career going, and woman will most likely folliw through. you'll land a girl quicker when you are not looking.

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    • But even when I didn't look there was never anyone. Most of my friends don't look yet they have ore luck than me.
      Does having a career really make a difference to all that?

    • Yes, woman can back me up on this one, when you have a career, it draws out personality and character.

    • And you'll be more attractive to be around.

  • Saaaaame problem..

    You're are trying, to more you are trying to only thing that will happen is frustration and these thoughts you are showing now.

    Live your life, hangout with friends, family, do your hobbies.
    She will appear when you least expect it, but keep your eyes open.

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    • You guys have put me and my advice to shame! Feel quite embarrassed about my vain and shallow response now. But hey arms matter ALOT!

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    • Haha - that is exactly what is not attractive! It is the natural, very casual and discreet gun show that is the most attractive. Even if you put that much effort into showcasing them - whatever you do don't let us clock on that you are trying too hard - totally ruins it for us.

  • Welcome to the boys club

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  • Maybe you have a skewed view of yourself and that you're not as likeable as you think. Maybe.

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    • Well, I'm likeable within my friend group and I'm just going off what I've been told but I dunno, you could be right.

    • It's just a possibility. I think the same way about myself. Maybe others see me differently.

  • Stop investing with the emotions and start investing solely with the penis.

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    • Even with that I'm still a virgin.

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    • Sounds as difficult as getting a bloody girlfriend.

    • Na coz you just move on to the next one and you don't care if it doesn't work.

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