Why do guys like you one day then break it off the next?

I met a guy 2 weeks ago and we hit it off. We went out twice and texted everyday. He is divorced with 3 kids. I asked him if he was ready for a relationship, but he assured me since he was single for 5 years. He asked me all the questions that made me feel that he was looking for something serious. On our second date we had our first kiss and it was great! He kept texting me that I was amazing, he couldn't wait to see me again and that he really liked me.
This weekend he has his kids and hast texted me.

Then I get this message, "Hi sorry been busy, I don't think we are good for each other, We can b friends if u like."


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Yes, i think in this instance he is attached to his kids mother
    sometimes they can't let go but why state that he is ready for dating
    that right there seems to be a lie and immature of him but you can't
    let this bring you down i know it's easier said than done i hope you
    can move on but don't let this bring you down cause you know there
    is other guys who would date you in heart beat ,

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Most Helpful Girl

  • 1) guessing his ex made a pass at him, they may even have a date planned (or so he thinks)
    2) there's no TIME lapse mentioned between post-kiss last text & the Have the kids text, so IF that was enough time to meet someone new that either he or his little zipper pest likes better...

    What to do?
    a) visiting fathers are sitting ducks, especially if they were dumped = you'll not ever have an easy to plan calendar with such sorts, even when those kids have jobs soooo if you are one that can chill in the face of questionable actions such as this and can roll with the waves to come, then KEEP him as a friend or whatever he
    calls it
    b) if such questionable actions take the joy out of this relationship and creates anxiety, then maybe put him in a lesser friendship role, like penpal, facebook, etc. only and take the hint to find another BF/lover substitute

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What Guys Said 26

  • Many reasons, but the only way you will ever know is to ask him. Maybe he was also dating someone else and wants to do more with her. Of course, maybe it is something else. Maybe he is having financial difficulties, and does not want to start something if he can't afford much (some guys think this way). Maybe his ex wants a second chance? Maybe his kids are having difficulty and he feels it will cause them problems.

    I do not think anyone can say, so the best thing to do is get back to him and ask something like "ok, I understand, but can you tell me why you feel this way today? I thought we were going someplace."

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  • that's pretty blatant and I would thank him for being honest and say good bye

    like this

    "I would like to thank you for being honest, good bye"

    then delete his number from your phonebook

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  • It seems that something happened that made him change his mind, he did it when with his kids... it really seems that there's something wrong there... anyway, if he did like you he wouldn't have done that. Perhpas it's better to be disappointed now than in the future.

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  • Cause sometimes guys never feel like they are doing enough and like they are constantly a let down for the girl. Since tv and even girls in real life tend to generalize that all guys are jerks. So even the good honest guys who should be dating kinda feel squeezed and uncomfortable especially when they get constantly on dates mixed signals.

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  • "We went out twice and texted everyday. He is divorced with 3 kids. I asked him if he was ready for a relationship, but he assured me since he was single for 5 years. "

    ^did he had a bad past wid his X maybe? if that's so then maybe he'd have a harder time startin datin again... his mark hasn't totally been faded away.

    "He asked me all the questions that made me feel that he was looking for something serious. On our second date we had our first kiss and it was great! He kept texting me that I was amazing, he couldn't wait to see me again and that he really liked me. "

    ^i see... seems like u were both equally xited... so up till now everything's awesome. so i take it back wot i said above... seems like he wants to give another chance to da datin game.

    "Then I get this message, "Hi sorry been busy, I don't think we are good for each other, We can b friends if u like.""

    ^hmmm... u know wot i assume? possibly his X met him again recently and she wanted to get back to him. they have kids together and he believes it'd be better to be together wid her than u... pure logic.

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  • I guess he just realized that you wouldn't be compatible for his kids. That's probably his most important worry there

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  • Because guys strive for different types of relationships, not just long ones, but they usually don't tell the other person because it could ruin it.

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  • he has children there's so many things that go with that you're belief system to how you think everything he wants a good role model for his kids also he wants to protect them he is very cautious so text him back and if you really do like him tell him you'll wait for him or meet up in the future

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  • because they are usually too chicken shit to admit that all they want to do is just tap your ass and a walk away.

    either that or they are probably just too confused to know what they want in life in general

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  • Guys like me don't.
    .
    .
    .
    .
    Maybe he just reassessed his feelings and his obligations. Have you ever done that?

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  • That's just not feeling it. He tested the waters and took time to realize it's not for him

    Isn't that kinda normal?

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  • It's better this way. He is divorced. Every one has baggage. A divorced person will feel for another divorcee (of the previous marriage) with the kids as well. It's unfortunate relationships nowadays are not stable. Be a friend. People can be influenced nowadays by others' opinions, threats or wishes. Thus, people cannot talk about love as readily, and people have fights.

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  • Sounds like her got over the excitement of a new thing, woke up, and realized he should slow down. Or he found a better option.

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  • we fallow our instincts and run if alarms are set off women are much more likely to ignore red flags because they like you

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  • Be friends with him.
    You may get to know the true reason behind his change of heart.

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  • Sorry to break it to you but he's probably met another girl whom he likes more.

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  • i couldnt get this either.. if he liked, why would he treat you like that, weird:/

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  • maybe trying different tastes :)

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  • He most likely talked to his kids about you. The kids most likely didn't approve.

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  • That's a tough one, people who seem to go out of character are hard to read , he's not representative of the majority. ONly he can tell you why he said that.

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  • why do girls do the same thing?
    stop asking an entire gender perhaps?

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  • Because we realize how boring your stories are.

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  • Something you did must have turned him off, or he decided to go with someone else.

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  • It means he doesn't feel the way you want him to feel. You just have to understand that men do it too, not just women

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  • Girls, do, the, same, thing, you're, 32,

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  • I had a girl ignore me with her phone one day as I tried talking to her. The next day, she dolled herself up with makeup and sought my attention. But guess what? Since she was rude to me the day before, I lost interest. Guess how deflated she was.

    Point being, little things like that can make a guy do a 180.

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What Girls Said 12

  • ... He is divorced with 3 kids...
    You said a Mouthful, @syntheea118, when you Answered your own Question about someone who may be special but Stuck With... No bonus Plus Baggage to boot.
    I say This here, dear, for anyone who know me knows I am a straight shooter, is he has gotten off a relationship roller coaster with the Mother of his tots and their toys who are riding his caboose and he feels Obligated to just keep it One neat package, no Outsiders Allowed right now.
    He Most likely had this change of heart and head when the brew showed up and decided it best to keep it just In the family and Not get into any other hooked at the hip with... Him and Her.
    Move on and don't go for the 'Friends if u like' bait and switch line. This usually means "I really like you but sleeping together is all I can promise to be close to you because my Number One Top Priority Are... My 3 kids.
    Good luck. xx

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  • It seems like he is a guy who falls in and out of love easily. Those types of guys will wine and dine you for the first month, call you constantly, shower you with gifts and attention. When the first heat of attraction has faded he becomes distant. Besides are you sure you wanna be with a guy who has three kids? That is a lot of responsibility. It is okay if they were your kids because you would have become accustomed to it gradually. But having all three come into your life at once will be difficult. I am not saying you can't love them like your own but having them at once when you were a free agent just a day before will be difficult.

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  • I know it's hard. i am 30 and in the same boat. Seems like the guys I want, don't want me... and the guys that want me are bums. Just keep dating. Date as many as you can but don't give up the panties until commitment is established. Dating sucks but keep going, girl. You don't have time to waste, thinking about why he is not interested. ON TO THE NEXT!!!

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  • Hmm.. he was definitely into you considering the earlier text but maybe something changed his mind. Maybe his kids didn't want him to be with someone or probably his ex wants to get back together. Or he could simply not be ready... I'm sorry about that. If you want, you can still be friends but keep it strictly as just friends.

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  • There might be someone else, or they don't want anything serious at the moment. It doesn't really matter why because if he's no longer showing interest, you could do better. And find someone who wants what you want and enjoys spending time with you (consistently).

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  • Still hooked on his ex, that's why.

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  • He should have been more honest with you

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  • Sounds like he's never going to grow up.

    So u dogged a bullet there

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  • He never liked you in the first place? Maybe

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  • Because they had a change of heart. That happens

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  • Divorced men are one of my dealbreakers. I feel like divorced men have a lot of drama and its worse when they have kids because then there is baby mama drama. Be happy you don't have to see him again.

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  • A few of my male friends told me when they're looking for something serious they would ask a girl questions and test her actions while dating. Not all girls make the cut and they keep in touch with them but wouldn't get serious.

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