Am I wrong?

This summer I'm planning a trip to go on a safari in Africa. I asked my friends and most of them have to work, school, or just don't have the money. But my one friend has agreed to go with me. The thing is, he's a guy. And my boyfriend of 6 months is really mad that I'm going to be sharing a room with a guy. But the main reason why my boyfriend is upset is because in the past my guy friend has admitted that he liked me more than a friend. But we had the whole we're only friends conversation. (we had this conversation last summer)

I think of us as just friends, but my boyfriend thinks he still has feeling for me which I don't think it's true.

Personally I think my boyfriend is overreacting and making a big deal out of nothing.

What do you think?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • The friend has agreed to go because he hopes something romantic will happen and you'll forget your boyfriend and come back from Africa as his girlfriend. Guaranteed.

    Accepting him to come along is cruel towards the friend because he has hopes and you're going to turn them down, and it's cruel towards the boyfriend because he's the one who has to worry at home.

    Grow some balls and go alone. It'll be the best solution for all concerned. Even you will grow in a completely different way during your trip when you have to solve all problems yourself.

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What Guys Said 6

  • I'd be p*ssed too. I know relationships are about trust, but this would make me very uncomfortable as a boyfriend. Guys usually don't get over wanting to be more than friends until they are no longer friends, regardless of what that guy said.

    I would not recommend going on this trip with your "friend". He likely wants to see more than wild animals on this safari and you're boyfriend's response is completely understandable.

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    • I know that my boyfriend has a right to be angry, and I'm being a little selfish. But I really want to go on this trip and no one else is able to come with me. But I think my boyfriend should trust me, I would never cheat

    • Tell yourself whatever you want, but I think you should stop thinking about what you want and more about how he feels (which is 100% justified). Even if you wouldn't let anything happen, it's a security issue for him. Up to you though regardless of whatever defensive statement you write on here...

  • You want to take the trip of a lifetime and you're so eager to go, you're not prepared to wait until its convenient for your boyfriend to go with you and in the meantime you're gonna take a guy who has known hots for you and will clearly see it as an opportunity to get with you.

    That's so harsh!

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    • Well said. If she cared more about her boyfriend than her selfish need to journey abroad she would not be in this situation. My advice: Wait until you're single to go with the friend so it doesn't ruin your relationship with your current boyfriend OR wait until your current boyfriend has the opportunity to share such an amazing adventure with you.

  • Are women really this naive? Of course the guy still likes you and will 100% make a move on you in Africa.

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    • But he knows I have a boyfriend and that I don't like him as anything more than a friend

  • your wrong cause your a woman? sorry

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  • if he's gay go with him, although if he a guy that just wants sex don't

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  • Come on now on a safri with some dude that is your friend? that's the best time and person to have sex with in that situation...Hell I'd sleep with whater girl was with me in my room in an exotic paradise, you only live once...If he told you he likes you he is thinking that this is his chance that you are giving him to let him win your heart and he will do whatever he has to to get you to fall for him. I would find someone eles if I was you...

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What Girls Said 6

  • He is right. You are right. It is one confusing world we live in.

    This isn't something you can tell your boyfriend just to get over. Try to compromise somehow. It is completely normal for him to be uncomfortable. Show you understand that, but explain how important the trip is to you. See if you can reach some sort of agreement

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  • Well, I think there's conflict on both sides here. Honestly I don't believe your boyfriend is overreacting at all. Think of it this way. If your boyfriend was going on a trip with his ex and sharing a room with her WHILE dating you, would you be honestly okay with it? He's trying to keep a hold of what is his. I can see why he'd be upset. He feels threatened. Also, who's to say if your guy friend has fully gotten over you. It's surprising what some people say for the happiness of others or what they try to do out of selfishness. Then again I doubt it'd hurt your boyfriend to be a little more trusting of the relationship built between the two of you. In a way, you might be being a little insensitive towards his feelings. Try talking it over with him to reassure him that nothing will happen. That or find a gal pal who is willing to go with you and your guy friend.

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    • I know, you're right. When you put it that way, I do understand where's he's coming from. But at the same time, I think he should just trust me. The trip isn't even that long, it's only for a week and a half.

    • Yes as I've said before he should probably be a little more trusting of you but at the same time you need to think about his feelings a little more. As you know, in a relationship there needs to be trust and equal compromise. Also, a week and a half alone with your guy friend, that kinda screams at him to try something. I really think you'd be better off finding a girl to tag along with you and your guy friend. Then he might be a little more open to the idea.

  • Your boyfriend is right. I know where you are coming from, I've been in your situation before and I've made the mistake of just going on with the bad decision. If you really care about your boyfriend and want to stay together... Do not stay in a room with your friend (who still likes you). A huge part is you're going to be in a new place, traveling and seeing new things... sometimes that can spark romance. You and your friend will do things together on that trip that are amazing, you just don't know for sure if that could lead to deceiving your boyfriend. The choice is yours, but your boyfriend is right... It would be a huge mistake but good luck with no matter which situation you choose.

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  • put yourself in his position

    what if he was gonna take a trip wit sum chick that wants his nuts? would you feel comfortable with that?

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  • i think you guys are both right

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  • It is a trust issue and sometimes it takes a lot for someone to get over their own security issues in a situation like this. I went to Paris with a male friend of mine (two actually!) and we all shared a room...but all of us had been friends for almost 10 years and had no prior history of anything not even interest in each other. My man at the time was uneasy but he had enough faith in me and our relationship to trust me and we talked everyday...when I got home he told me how difficult it was for him and he did get jealous a few times but we got thru it. If I could do it all over again I'd have waited and gone with my man if I could have happened that way. Because I respect him and I care for his feelings so much. Plus just think about if it were you in his position ... how would it make you feel?

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